Friday, May 02, 2014




2063- NORTH BERGEN- N.Y. AREA TRIP- APRIL- 2014.

 SATURDAY-NOON- STUCK AT HOUSTON AIRPORT.

Ok- being I have a 3 hour layover- might as well write a little.

I’m sitting at the airport- reading a few papers- and might comment on some world issues.

But first- yesterday I went to one of the first AA meetings in a while- just wanted to touch base with a few friends.

The meeting consisted of about 3 people- good people mind you- just talking for the whole time.

Didn’t seem like much was accomplished [but that’s ok- that’s not the point here].
As I have been reading the book of Romans- there are many themes that contrast law and grace.

I’ll quote just a few ‘Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to those who believe’.
‘Those who sought it by works [effort] did not find righteousness [freedom] but those who sought it not- found it by faith’. [Funny- it says some people found God- and they weren’t even looking! God works out stuff- where people- whose last thing on their mind is God- wind up finding him- cool!]

In Galatians it says ‘the law was our schoolmaster to bring us to Christ- but after we arrive at the true teacher- then the law has accomplished its purpose’.

The other day at the halfway house- Shaky- the agnostic- had a question.

He didn’t understand why the bible has both an old and new testament.

I explained why- but told him that the main reason is the old ‘way’- called the law- has passed away as a means to achieve salvation by our efforts.

And the New Way [New Testament] has now been established by the Blood of Jesus- a way of grace.

For centuries Gods people sought to change themselves thru the implementing of a program [the law- 10 commandments].
During this whole time- no one ever accomplished it.

The apostle Paul teaches us that the purpose of the law was to reveal sin to man [us!].

Ok- that’s the term ‘schoolmaster’ that I quoted above.

Now- Schoolmaster does not mean ‘teacher’ no- he was the guy who escorted the kids to the school- the real place of learning.

Now- after the kids get dropped off- he leaves.

His purpose was served.

Paul is showing us that we are now in a new time period [age of grace] where we are no longer in need of the schoolmaster [meaning the stage of trying to reform ourselves thru some program- or thru self-effort- that stage has passed].

‘So John- how do we then change’?

Good question.

That’s the whole reason for Christ dying on the Cross- he took our sins with him- died with them on him- and rose again.

Ok- now the way this new system works- is when we believe this [you mean it’s that easy?] we then receive ‘change’ [called the gift of righteousness] as a free gift.

I mean this is really basic- but we often miss the simple stuff.

At the AA meeting I mentioned above- some of my friends were there- good friends- people I am helping [thru the bible studies I do].

One of them told me how he argued with a relative the other week- he told the person that even though they were free from substance abuse- and doing real well- yet because this person never completed some steps- they are still not ‘right’.

Now- this friend of mine is doing ok- with his past substance problem- but has many other problems.

I have tried to help him learn to manage his life- with simple tools I learned over the years.

But- he refuses to listen- and says ‘everything he needs is in the big book’.

I have seen some friends struggle [like I do at times] but sometimes we fall into the legalism category- meaning we can take a good program- and it can become bondage over time- just like the Old law covenant.

Those who rely on any covenant/program- for change- without having the free gift of grace- can never truly achieve change.

That’s just the way the free gift of ‘change’ works- it’s a gift.

Ok- obviously there’s a lot more to this but being I’m here at the airport- figured I do something-

So- I did.

Ok- still have about an hour to board- let me do a little on world affairs.
I was reading Isaiah earlier- and it spoke about the judgment of God on nations that at one time were feared.
It said the adversaries began to see the once ‘feared nation’ as vulnerable- as one of them.

This pretty much has been happening with the standing that we now have in the world.

I could give many examples- but the present situation in Ukraine fits.

As of today [ 4-26] Russia has been making inroads into eastern Ukraine [they recently annexed Crimea] and the way the West [us] has responded- sort of shows how we have indeed lost our credibility among these nations that once feared us.

We also see how the nations of the world have adopted ‘our language’ when trying to justify certain actions.

The Kiev government just killed a few ‘protestors’ and called them ‘terrorists’.

Then Putin said ‘if the Government is killing its ‘own people’ this is a grave thing’.

This is indeed the language that we have used- many times- to justify military action around the globe.

All of this language simply depends on the perspective of those who use it to justify action.

One persons ‘terrorist’ is another one’s ‘freedom fighter’.

Ok- the statements from John Kerry- well to say the least- seem strange.

He has said that ‘time is running out for Putin to do the right thing’.

His ‘window to change course is closing’.

It’s quite obvious Putin is not looking for a window- no- he plans on taking Ukraine [at least the eastern half].

As I read thru the Old Testament prophets- there are many judgments pronounced on nations once considered ‘just’ and good.

But over time- they come under judgment because they no longer do what is just.

Now- I’m not one of those end time prophecy guys- by no means.

But- if you simply look at the state of world affairs right now- it’s about as bad as it has ever been [minus an actual war].

The leaders in Ukraine do believe that Russia is on the verge of repeating what Hitler did in Poland- they have said Putin is on a path to WW3.

Now- I don’t go that far- yet.

But what we are seeing- not only in Ukraine- but in other spots as well- is a bit ominous.

Like I said earlier in the year- I think the global situation is worse off than many believe.
Hope I’m wrong.
 [just got delayed one more hour- never planned on sitting in the airport for 4 hours- o well].

Might as well write the verse in ‘All they shall speak and say unto thee, art thou also become weak as we? Art thou become like unto us? Thy pomp is brought down to the grave’ Isaiah 14: 10-11.

MONDAY NIGHT- Ok- let’s talk a little about this visit.
2 of my 3 buddies from the area are locked up- the sad thing is they just got locked up a week ago- just missed them.

Last year- before I left Jersey- I wrote a note to each of these guys- talked real life stuff.

I did tell Billy ‘Billy- I was glad to meet you- become good friends- but- if you don’t change your ‘business’ you are going to get busted’.

His ‘business’ was taking the bus to Hackensack- picking up his ‘order’ and then taking the bus back- and selling his stuff.

Now- I did write about this stuff last year- in a way- it was funny [not his business]- but- it was so obvious- I mean his purchasers would wait for him at the bus stop.

My other friend- who is more careful- would sit with me outside White Castle and he would say ‘look John- those guys are like rats- they can’t even wait for him to get off the bus!’

So- in my note to Billy I did say ‘it’s obvious Billy- your gonna wind up getting busted’.

He did.

Ok- I ran into my atheist friend at White Castle the last few days.

We became good friends last year- and because of that- he speaks highly of me.

I do know some in the area of dealing with atheism- and I do it in a respectful way.
Today as I walked in- he told his friend ‘here’s John- he’s a biblical scholar- really- and I’m saying that as an atheist’.
He said ‘John’s a better atheist than me’.

Not really- but I have read more of the most popular books that have been put out in the last 10 years- Chris Hitchens [who has died]- Sam Harris and a few more.

He was not aware of these guys- so- he’s a nice older guy- but not really up on the latest stuff.

In Church Sunday- they talked about the recent canonization of Pope John Paul and John the 23rd.
I have written about Vatican Council 2 before [held between 1962- 65].

I liked the change the church made at the time- and the Pope made an effort to reach out to the other Christin churches- for the first time the Catholic church referred to these as ‘separated brethren’.
So- efforts are/have been made to try and reconcile the divisions in the church- which I like.

So- the priest mentioned a point I never knew- when the Pope invited these other churches [the heads of these churches] he welcomed them by saying ‘greetings- I am Joseph- your brother’.

I found it interesting- because I just taught on Joseph- and how he received his brothers with grace- after they did him wrong.

So- my atheist friend used to be Catholic- and is a staunch liberal [common for the North East].

And I covered a lot of church history- got into some deep stuff- and he is a smart guy- and really has complimented me on these discussions.

I told him that on my Blog- I try and teach in a way that Muslims- Jews- even atheists- could join the conversation- without feeling unwelcomed.
He said ‘that’s what I like about you- you’re the only one that has ever done this’.

Now- I’m not the only one- but the ‘only one’ he has met.

He kids me ‘John- I might convert you’.
At one point during our talks- I said ‘Christians should respect other groups- other religions- and even those with no religion’.

I said ‘because all people- even atheists- are created in the image of God’.

He agreed [or let’s say- didn’t disagree]

Hmm- image of God?

Yeah- he needs to be careful- I might just ‘convert him’ [he agreed that yeah- he too was created in the image of God- Jesus said be WISE as serpents- but harmless as doves].

It’s important for us to ‘be wise’ to have a background in many fields- not just the bible [I talk philosophy with him as well].
Because when people- atheists- whoever- feel like what they are hearing [in my case- a defense of the faith] is coming from someone with a wide range of study- not just ‘religion’ then they listen more- they feel like the other points- about the validity of the church- may also be valid.

I try and do all of this in a spirit of meekness- trying to be open- listen to the points they make- and then share my view.

Wise? - Yeah- but harmless too- it does work.

Note- 2 guys have died since I was last here- Mario and Ed.

Mario was about 45- he was an alcoholic- but not on the street.

He used to sit at White Castle every day- and drink hard liquor from a bottle.

Ed was a vet- a POW from the famous Battle of the Bulge.

He was a decorated vet.

My friend Rick used to get a kick out of him- Ed would sing in White Castle- he was a real character.

I don’t know what type of ‘spiritual’ condition these guys were in- and I’m not one to judge.

But- when I have my talks in White Castle- everyone does hear.

I just saw the one friend- who is not in jail- a couple of hours ago.

He’s a nice guy- but he- like the others- are suffering from addiction.

Because Billy is not around- I’ll be standing outside White Castle- and they are all trying to find someone else to ‘purchase’ from.

It’s sad- but I’ve of course seen it before.

So- for this short trip- I’ll do my best.
This was an unplanned trip- and in one week- just not enough time to try and start new meetings.

Maybe next time- maybe.

TUESDAY-
The weather in N.J. is nice today- was up early in the yard- nice and cool.
Just talked to a few friends from Texas- all is well.

I will try and go to the city [NY] at least one more time before this short trip is over.
There is a verse that comes to mind ‘the kingdom of heaven suffers violence- and the violent take it by force’.

Jesus said this at a time when the Jewish people were under Roman occupation.

There were some Jews who embraced a zealot mindset- that is they wanted to mount an actual guerilla war against Rome- and throw off their oppressors.

Jesus had one of these guys in his group- Simon [not Peter- who also goes by that name].
When Jesus talked about violence- in the above context- he was not talking about an actual overthrow of Rome- in a violent way.

But he was showing his guys that thru a new way- which to him would end up in a violent crucifixion- he would accomplish the overthrow of Rome.

3 centuries after Christ the emperor Constantine would declare Christianity the religion of the empire.
 Jesus was no pacifist- no- he believed that the mission he was on did require violence- but it wasn’t against people.

When they came to take Jesus in the garden- Peter drew his sword and cut off a guy’s ear.

Jesus rebuked him ‘put up the sword- they who live by the sword will die by it’.

Yeah- he put the guy’s ear- who Peter cut off- back on the guy!

Now- there might have been a purpose to this- everyone did not see all the miracles Jesus did.

Many heard about them- and I’m sure some doubted.

After Jesus healed this Roman soldier- by putting his ear back on.

Then he said ‘if you are here to take me- then let these guys go’.
There was a scripture that said none of his men would be taken- so as you can imagine- after the soldiers actually saw one of the miracles- I’m sure they were quick to do what he said.

Yeah- they let the disciples go.

See?

Violence was involved- but the kind of ‘violence’ Jesus used- was a radical showing of the kingdom.

He did real miracles- showed compassion- and yes- at times got mad- not in a self-righteous way- but because he had a zeal for the kingdom of God.

The first little book I wrote was called ‘House of prayer or Den of thieves’.

The title came from something Jesus said.

One day as he was walking thru the temple area- he saw the merchants selling stuff- he walked up to the table and flipped it- he was mad.

He said ‘My father’s house is to be a house of prayer- but you have made it a den of thieves’ [in context- he was yelling this!]

This is the only recorded incident where he got mad- and did a ‘violent’ act.

Jesus had a rough group of men- yet he was the leader of the group- and they listened to him.

Why?

Were they afraid of him?

No- I don’t think so- but for the short time they were with him- for about 3 years- they saw he was on a God ordained mission.

They did indeed see miracles- and in a way this small group was the beginning of a movement that would later take the world.

Yeah- in the end he won the war- without firing a single shot.

TUESDAY NIGHT- 
Had an interesting day today- spent the morning with the senior crew at White Castle- was going to cover some interesting talks I had- with Ted.

An older guy I met last year- but today we hit it off well.

Maybe I’ll get to that tomorrow.

I just got back from spending about 3 hours with the guys who use- Heroin.

Now- 1 week is too short to gain trust- and the only friends from last year- 2 are locked up- but the closest friend is not.

So- I guess he ‘vouched’ for me- I’m not going to use names this time- like I did last year.

But today- all the guys that were leery of me the other day [I’m sure they thought I was a Narc].

Today they were real open- talked openly about their ‘dealings’- funny in a way- the one friend I made from last year- well- he’s sort of the ringleader of the new group.

And I mean I do laugh- as well as some others- they were arguing over why one guy was taking so long [he had to go to NYC- because Billy- the old ‘business’ guy- is in jail].

So- the past few days these guys have been in disarray- they are having a hard time- well- getting stuff they ‘need’.

I mean it’s funny- my buddy told the other guy ‘talk to me like that again- and I’ll slap the ^%$# out of you right here- in White Castle!’
One of the other guys says ‘no there are kids in here!’

I haven’t spent too much time with this friend this time around.

The old crew is missing ‘2 members’ and I have just run into my buddy a few times.

But after a few hours of being in the mix- meeting some new guys- I told my friend ‘hey- I’m heading out- see you tomorrow- I’m going to DePalmas to get some bread and Italian cold cuts’.

‘Wait- I’ll go with you John- I need to get cigarettes’.

He was still in the middle of a deal- yeah- he dropped it- and we took off.

He went out of his way to go with me- I mean you wouldn’t walk 5 blocks for cig’s- you normally get them at one of the 3 stores right there.

But he wanted to hang a bit- good.

As we walked- he told me ‘John- I’d like to get out of New Jersey too- like you did. You know- good people like you- they always leave- I wish you did move back’.

We had a good talk- I did tell him I’m going to the NA meeting tonight at Our Lady of Fatima [which is me throwing out a lifeline- these guys are all doing Heroin].

We went into the Italian Deli- I told the owner ‘yeah- I grew up here- wanted to get some good Italian stuff- can’t find it in Texas’.

I bought about 29 dollars of stuff- my buddy is the classic N.J. type talker- just like you hear in the mob movies- he said hi to all the Italian guys at the deli- they know him well.

When the owner rang up my tab- he didn’t add the total up- just said ‘give me 25- that’s all’- yeah- he did one of those old Italian things- gave me a deal.

As I was walking out- going a different way- my friend said ‘Wait- I’ll walk with you’.
I told him I’m headin’ in- then going to the meeting.

Now- I would have invited him- but I know he wouldn’t have gone tonight.

But he did ask me the street the church is on- and wanted to make sure he had the right one.

Yeah- haven’t really done any ‘preaching’ to this friend- just restarted the friendship we had last year.

But he sees that the road I’m on now is better- I’m glad I spent some time with him today- some good seeds were planted.
Plus- he helped out- these new guys would have never talked so openly in front of me. My friend- who last year did indeed think I was an undercover cop- this time he vouched for me- yeah- I needed that.

WEDNESDAY-

Ok- yesterday morning- till about noon- I had some good talks with the senior guys that I met last year while hanging out at White Castle.

Last year I hung out with guys my age- Heroin addicts- and these older guys saw me with them for 3 months.
At first I’m sure they thought I was simply some addict on the street- but over time they heard I was up here- back in my home town- doing ministry.

I’m not sure they believed me- I have had friends who didn’t believe ‘my story’ – Retired from Fire Dept.? Many don’t think I look old enough to have done 25 years at the Fire Dept. - but- I did.

So- I talked with Ted for about 2 hour’s yesterday- I remember last year- when I spoke to my atheist friend- who is also part of the senior crew.

He would talk ‘bad’ about the church- and even though these old guys are friends- Daniel- the atheist- would say ‘Ted doesn’t like it when I criticize the church’.

So I realized Ted must have some sort of faith background.

 [Funny- the other day Daniel- the older atheist- he sells stuff- lighters- whatever- to Nick. Nick says ‘John- he wants to sell me an ‘8-ball’- but he wants too much for it’.- Now- an 8 ball- usually means you’re buying a certain amount of Cocaine- and I don’t know if people misunderstood- so I said ‘you mean an 8 ball lighter’. Daniel had a lighter- that looked like an 8-ball [from a pool ball] - One of the new guys I met- laughed out loud. He is using- and yeah- he thought the same thing- that Daniel was trying to sell Cocaine!]

Yesterday we talked for a while- Ted is around 75- single- and taught school for 35 years in Union City.

I think the name of the school is Edison- but he said it was the most populated grammar school in N.J.
His family immigrated to this area from Albania- and they have a Greek Orthodox background.

I talked well about the Greek Orthodox church- kind of got into some history- and a little ‘intellectual’ stuff- being he’s a smart guy- he got what I was saying.

He told me an interesting story- his brother worked at a restaurant in Paramus- the Steak Pit.

This was many years ago- he said one day the mob guys walked in [mafia] and they decided that his would be a meeting spot for them.

The told the owner ‘when we come in- we want this waiter only- we don’t want people coming in- and we will eat- do our business- and leave’.

He said every time these guys came- that’s what they did.

His brother said they treated him fine- and it was real open- everyone knew they were mob guys.

Ted said he will never forget the stories his brother told him from this time.

I also spent about an hour talking to Bob.
I too met him last year- and Bob likes to reminisce about the schools that we both went to.

He went to my grade school- Horace Mann- in the 60’s- I went in the 70’s.

Now I don’t ‘preach’ to these guys- but I do talk about God- the bible- I ‘slip it in’ along the way.

Bob was talking about some people who died recently.

How life is short- that we often don’t realize how time is slipping away.

I told him that was a theme I have been speaking on all year.

I quoted a few verses ‘hey Bob- the bible says ‘teach us to number our days that we might apply our hearts to wisdom’.
I said there is a bible book- part of what we call the Wisdom literature of the Old Testament.

It’s named Ecclesiastes- meaning ‘the preacher’ it was written by King Solomon.

I quoted from the last chapter- it speaks about remembering your creator in the days of your youth- then uses poetic language to describe the frailty of our human condition.

How our bodies break down over time- we lose teeth- legs don’t work- yeah- it’s kind of coming from a ‘blues’ mentality.
This book was written during a time when King Solomon was depressed- questioning the meaning of life.

I mean he had a lot going for him- was wise- the richest king that Israel ever had.

Yet- he went thru a stage where none of this had any real meaning to him- he even uses a phrase ‘there is nothing new under the sun’.

Ernest Hemingway wrote a book titled ‘Under the Sun’- it actually came from this verse.

Hemingway [like Hunter Thompson] was a talented writer- I love the Old Man and the Sea.
But he too struggled with the meaning of life- much like Solomon.

Now- Hemingway was in a way like Hunter Thompson- the writer who Johnny Depp portrayed in the movie ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’.

These guys struggled with the meaning of life.

They both had the same perspective that I spoke about last month- when I talked about the Nihilistic philosophers- Sartre and Camus.

Hemingway and Thompson killed themselves- yeah- they stayed true to form.

As I spoke to Bob- and quoted the last chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes- I said ‘Bob- Solomon came to this conclusion- Remember your creator in the days of your youth- when you have your health- because the days are coming- soon- when we will start falling apart’- Bob agreed.

Solomon did not take the road of a Hemingway- or Thompson.

His conclusion was- the end purpose of man was to obey God- keep his commandments- do what’s right in life- honor God.

As I spoke- of course all the other people in the restaurant hear- and even though these are not official meetings- still- the seed [of God’s word] gets planted- and the bible says it will not ‘come back void’.

Ecclesiastes 12:1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;
Ecclesiastes 12:2 While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:
Ecclesiastes 12:3 In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,
Ecclesiastes 12:4 And the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of musick shall be brought low;
Ecclesiastes 12:5 Also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:
Ecclesiastes 12:6 Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
Ecclesiastes 12:7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
Ecclesiastes 12:8 Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 12:9 And moreover, because the preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yea, he gave good heed, and sought out, and set in order many proverbs.
Ecclesiastes 12:10 The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth.
Ecclesiastes 12:11 The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.
Ecclesiastes 12:12 And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
Ecclesiastes 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
Ecclesiastes 12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.


Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Ecclesiastes 9:12 For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.
Ecclesiastes 9:13 This wisdom have I seen also under the sun, and it seemed great unto me:
[Solomon uses the pharse Under the Sun a lot- these are just a few examples]



Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Ecclesiastes 3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
Ecclesiastes 3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
Ecclesiastes 3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
Ecclesiastes 3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
Ecclesiastes 3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

These famous words were put to song by an old rock group.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON-
Had a productive day today- was going to make a few notes [reminders] and then talk about it later- but figured I’d’ better write it now [there is more than one reason- if I REMEMBER- I’ll try and get to it].
I spent about 2 hours at White Castle- spoke to Bob- and then talked for a while with one of the new guys I met this week.

He’s one of the guys who waits for his connection- to bring him heroin.
Now- like I said- normally just meeting a new guy for a day or 2- no- they don’t trust you- or talk.

But he’s friends with Nick- and Nick gave him the scoop on me.

So today- we talked.

He’s 52 [my age- I’m 51].
He’s gifted- works for a construction crew out of NY city- makes 700 a week.

As we talked I told him ‘I work with homeless guys in Texas’.

He asked ‘you use them on your crew’? He thought I employed them.

‘No- I try and help them get off drugs- and get off the streets’.

He told me ‘John- I was just homeless a few weeks ago [he told me the building he slept in] just recently did some jail time- but am now renting a hotel room by the week- if I save up from my job- I’ll get an apt. soon’.

We got into some serious talk about life- I told him my sister used Heroin for many years- she recently died.
I realize [as he does] that the thing that’s keeping him back- is the drug addiction.

He makes good money- and does spend some on heroin right now.

But- even if he keeps the job- tries to get a permanent place- he won’t survive in active addiction- you can’t do it.

As I took off- he said ‘I don’t know why I’m telling you all this- I mean I just met you’.

I told him ‘no bro- that’s what I do- this is my mission in a way’.

The talk went well.

I headed to Burger king [I found out that some of the senior crew go there first] and I’ll tell that story later.

LATER- As I walked into Burger King- sure enough- 2 of the senior crew were there.
Mike and Daniel [the atheist] - oh- and a new lady- Martha.
Daniel said ‘John- I was just leaving- but because you’re here- I’ll stay’.

I told him I just called my dad for the first time- since I’ve been back- and only have 3 days left- so I told my dad ‘let’s do Hiram’s before I leave’.

Hiram’s was the first classic hot dog restaurant in this area- Callahan’s copied them- and opened up their place right across the street many years ago.
Callahan’s is gone- Hiram’s remains [yeah for the under ‘dog’].
Daniel pulled out a book- he said ‘I want to show you something’.

It was a Catholic book- he told me a lady friend gave it to him- he said ‘there are bible verses in it John- I do read them’.
He also told me he has 3 [not one mind you] but 3 bibles in his car- cool!

He told me ‘I feel bad that you’re leaving so soon- and that’s coming from an atheist’!

We talked philosophy- a bit of physics [I did correct a few common misconceptions people have in this field- talked about Einstein as well as John Nash- famous physicists who attended Princeton- the school in Jersey].

Won’t get into it all- but it helped that I was able to teach some of this- Mike was right there- hearing.

We talked for 2 hours [remember- Daniel was leaving!] and I was the one who had to go.
During this talk- I did quote a lot of scripture [much like a meeting- but not an official one].

Let me just give you a taste.

Daniel talked a bit about the concept of ‘what you think- you get’.
I quoted a famous verse ‘as a man thinketh in his heart- so is he’
‘Yeah- that’s right’.

Mike- who was hearing- he disagrees with Daniel's ideas- and these 2 argued- but not because of what you might think [if I forget- I’ll mention it quick- Mike- in his 60’s- was engaged in a serious one on one talk with Martha- it seems as if the relationship issue- falling in love- etc.- always plays a role in life- many of my friends deal with this- as well as their problems- Mike was upset in a way because of a few things Daniel said- but- it was some type of relationship thing going on as well. I see that we- humans- never seem to move beyond this- even at Mike’s age- late 60’s- it was still playing a big role].

Ok- I also talked about how the historic church does not ‘fully’ embrace the more popular idea of ‘the power of positive thinking’ not in the same way as what you see in today’s Evangelical world [often called the Prosperity Gospel].

I taught a little on the history of this- and Mike agreed with me [I think].

Daniel wanted to show me a book he’s reading – I saw the title ‘The way of all flesh’ [Which by the way is another theme taken from scripture].

I told him that is a classic.

I talked a bit about what I posted earlier- how I like reading/quoting from the classics- it broadens our perspective on life.

I corrected- in a nice way- some wrong ideas people have in physics- and how many in the modern time claim that some of their ideas [Dark Matter- Dark energy- etc.] are proven Physics.

Now they do fall under this category- but these ideas [yes-ideas] have really not met the test [proof] of physics- in the ‘naturalistic’ sense.

Physics deals with actual matter [physical realm] Philosophy deals with Metaphysics.

Beyond the material realm.

Both have their role- but when the physicist says ‘we reject religion/God- because we only deal with the material world’.

No- they contradict.

Because some of the most popular ideas today- in physics- are already dealing with things ‘not seen’ [not yet proven by the standards of modern science- these ideas are still in the realm of Metaphysics- though many still say they have been proven thru the natural sciences].

Ok- maybe a bit much- for you ‘physicists’ out there who think I’m nuts- just one example.

For years I have said- quote ‘Dark matter is simply a term we use to describe a missing piece of the puzzle [what piece? The fact that there is not enough matter in the universe to produce the gravity needed for the system to work].

So- scientists have surmised that there must be a lot of matter out there- we just can’t find it yet.

Now- as of this date- we still have not found it [some debate this point- I am aware of their ideas- but it would take another whole post to explain it].

But it is generally accepted- and talked about [and now taught] that yes- we have found it.

No- we haven’t - it’s said to be there- thru the same process the Christian uses to ‘prove’ God- when arguing from Apologetics- that even though we don't ‘see’ God- yet because of cause and effect- and the need for there to have been some self-existent being [Thomas Aquinas’ term- Prime Mover- Aquinas is the ‘doctor Angelicas’- for Catholic Theology- till this day. If you remember my previous posts- the search for the cause of motion dates all the way back to the 6th century BCE- Thales- the founder of Pre Socratic philosophy thought water was the cause of motion] then yes- there must be a first cause- who by definition is self-existent.

Ok- modern science [of which I am a fan] has conjectured that Dark Matter is there- thru this same process.

Which is by definition a metaphysical process- not a physical one.

So- in the end- the scientist who says ‘we reject God because we have no physical proof- and we only accept things with physical proof’.

Well- they contradict.

Because they use the metaphysical rule- to accept Dark Matter.

See?

Don’t feel bad if you don’t ‘see’- this is tough stuff.

So- I heard the famed physicist who heads up the Hayden Planetarium in NY say ‘Dark Matter is simply a word we use because we have no answer for this dilemma’.

So- in the end- yeah- me and Tyson are on the same page.

So- during these multi-faceted talks- yes- we also talk about God.

But- these other things help as well- keeps the guys interest- Yeah- Daniel would have talked for another hour- but I had to go.

NOTE- I talked a bit about Einstein’s search for one cause- that would ‘bind’ all the other fields together- his unified theory. He at one time said ‘God does not role dice’. He said this in response to those who were accepting an idea that there might be no order in the universe- that maybe things just happen- without any cause. No- Einstein did not believe that was possible- to be honest- the majority of physicists today seem to have embraced the ideas of Einstein’s opponents- but I still think Einstein had it right- there is- must be- an initial cause- and yes- I call him God.

NOTE- I really didn’t want to get too deep into the discussion on physics- but for those in the field- the above wont suffice. In the field of physics- and science in general- many good men ‘stray’ from their area of expertise [science] and at times make glaring contradictions- in the area of what we call Logic [which by the way is an actual ‘science’]. Ok- What I hit on above was one of these contradictions- let me explain [or try]. Thru out the history of science [which by the way the Scientific Method was indeed ‘discovered’ by the Church- the Jesuit priests – around the 14th- 15th centuries played a major role in this]. Now- in science- and physics- it is not wrong- at all- to come to certain scientific conclusions by using what we call the scientific method. Over the centuries many great thinkers have believed that when seeking for truth about the universe- the original cause of things- many believed that you could come to conclusions about stuff- even if you do not have actual material data- that points to the thing. So- in the above example- It’s quite possible that Dark Matter does exist- the only problem is we have not ‘found’ it yet- thru the process of a strict materialistic observation. Ok- do we need to actually find something- to detect it- for it to be there? No- many scientists thru out the history of both ancient and modern science did not hold to a strict naturalistic method. But here’s the problem- many today not only hold to the naturalistic method- but claim that that’s the only true method of doing science. Why do some say this? Because when the Theistic view point is brought to the table- the naturalist will say ‘we can’t have the God option on the table- because we [you] can’t detect/prove God from a material argument’. Now- you can’t ‘prove’ Dark Matter from that view point either. Why? Because modern science has not ‘found’ it yet. OK- then why do they think it’s there? Because they have come to that conclusion- by using the old method- which is indeed a metaphysical one. That is they say ‘Dark Matter must be there- because we have discovered that the universe is much bigger than previously thought- as a matter of fact it is expanding as we speak- and there simply is not enough detectable matter in the universe to produce the amount of gravity needed for this’. So- they say ‘therefore there must be matter- somewhere- that can make up for this problem’. Now- are they wrong in espousing this? No. But- if you take the view that the only true method of science is naturalistic- then you can’t ‘have your cake and eat it too’. You can’t argue against the Theistic view- that we ‘conclude God exists because by necessity there must be a beginning point- and that point must be self-existent- because if there’s not something- somewhere- that has this attribute- then we can’t logically have a starting point’. So- the Christian argument- grant it is metaphysical [we can’t actually detect God- but we deduce that he is there] this is the same exact way the naturalist comes to the conclusion on Dark Matter. So- at the risk of loading this post too much- I wanted to give this explanation for those who do get deep into this debate.

NOTE- See- I almost forgot- but looked at my notes- and remembered.
These last few months I have noticed a real loss of memory. I find myself saying ‘geez- I can’t believe I forgot this’. Either some name when I’m typing- or some other thing. Normally- in the past- I did not have a problem like this.
But now- it is very noticeable.
Why is this happening?
To be honest- I think it is a result of my many years of drinking- when you consume large amounts of alcohol [like I did] over many years- then yes- it will have bad effects.

One is you do damage to your brain- as well as your liver- and other stuff.
So- I did want to mention this- because I have said in the past that I am grateful [and at times feel guilty] because some of the guys I work with on the streets have died from their drinking- and overall- I think I’m in pretty good health.

But even as I write these posts- I see that I do have some pretty bad memory loss.

Now- I can still do this stuff- but it’s not as easy as before.

NOTE- The book my friend Daniel was reading- The Way of all Flesh- was published in 1903, written by Samuel Butler- it was a critique against the so called morals of the Victorian Era. One of the characters in the book is an Anglican Priest- and Butler’s purpose was to reveal what he saw as the hypocrisy of the times. The book was really about Butler himself- and his experiences. The book was published after his death and is regarded as being in the top 100 English Novels of the 20th century.

THURSDAY NIGHT-
Ok- for those who actually read these long posts- I only have one more day in North Bergen- then I’m gone.

So- I wanted to have a full day.
I met the senior crew at White Castle about 8- did get up around 5:30- and for the first time [on this trip] did get to do my early prayer time in the yard.
Its better when its dark- I went to NY City around 9- took the bus thru the Lincoln tunnel- got off at the Port Authority.

Now- I wanted to attend the Mass at least once before I left- at St. Patrick’s Cathedral [if I have time- I’ll write a bit on why I attend the Mass- both here and in Texas].

I made it to central park- took some pics of the Empire state building- and made the Mass.

Maybe I walked about 50 blocks total- not much being last year I walked from North Bergen- over the GW bridge- thru Harlem and finally took the bus to Times Square.

Now- I really haven’t had the chance to meet any real ‘street guys’ in NY- most of the guys I’m with are from the New Jersey side- not much different- but on the West side of the Hudson River.

So- after my tour- I stopped outside the Bus Terminal- and figured I’d better smoke before I take the Bus.

I crouched down by some building- and smoked.

There was some black guy- half and half drunk- kind of ‘scaring’ the tourists.

Last year there was some guy doing the same thing- he was dressed kind of weird- also black- and walking in front of me.

I really did not know what he was doing- but he was making a scene.

I stopped next to him at some corner- and he turned towards me- leaned over- and I don’t know what the ‘heck’ he was doing- but he kind of made a mean face [I mean like UGGG! RUN!!- I wonder if the guy was possessed?]

I just looked at him- I think I might have laughed [I know- probably not the best thing to do].

And he didn’t do anything.

But today this guy was kind of making a scene- he walked past me and said ‘they want to put me back in jail- I am not going’.

Now- I think he had a scam thing going on- maybe trying to get money- or scare people- I don't know.

He walked up to me- I was crouched down- and I got up- close- and said ‘Ok brother- why do they want to put you in jail- let’s talk’.

Normally people ignore guys like this- or walk away- but I’m here for these guys- to talk- maybe help.

He saw that I was- well- like him.

I mean I told him ‘brother- guys like you are my main goal- I work with guys in Texas- do ministry and stuff’.

It only took about 5 minutes for him to realize I was real- it’s strange- but in a short time it feels like you know the guys- and they know you.

He dropped his guard- and said ‘I can tell if you’re for real or not’.

We talked- no gaurds up by me- and yeah- he realized it was real.

He said ‘you know why I’m not dead yet’ [I’m sure he has a history of stuff] I said ‘yeah- God’- I was right.
After about 15 minutes of talking about real life.

I said ‘hey- can I take your picture- I do this with my street friends- its ministry’.

He said ‘Let’s be in it together’.

Sure.

I asked some kid [25?] if he would snap the shot- he did.

Now- my new Black friend at one Point asked ‘are you a cop’.

I get this a lot.
I think he asked because I might have seemed to have no guard up- like I was asking the guy to rob me.

I told him ‘no- this is ministry bro’.

We took the pic- and the kid who took it- when I said bye to Lonnie- he got scared.

Lonnie [the Black guy] said ‘ok I walk with you now’.

The kid got scared.

I just stared walking away- and turned back- I gave Lonnie 5 bucks.

He never asked for money- but just looked at me- surprised.

Now- I realize these 15 minutes with Lonnie will not ‘change him’.

But- these guys are normally not accepted- or even talked to.

This is my calling- you would be surpised how easy this is- and when they see your for real- they remember that.

Lonnie said ‘Maybe I will go back to Texas with you’ [I know they are kidding- but I have had lots of new friends say this].

‘No- they’ll shoot my Black ass!’

Ok- caught the bus- came thru the Lincoln tunnel- and got off on Blvd East- around 76th St.

I wanted to walk a mile or so- before I hit White Castle.

Today I talked to a bunch of guys- on this trip people have said ‘hey John- from Texas- how you doing’.

To be honest- I do not remember many of them.

I talked inside White Castle for a few hours- Ernie- a retired cop who I met last year- he really honors me for the work I do.

He goes out of his way to get with me- and we have good talks.

I wanted to leave about 4- because I will make my last NA meeting tonight at 8- but John- a new guy I met his week- well today- he wanted to talk.

We did.

John is a heroin addict- 61 years old- and we talked for about 3 hours- just about life.

I tell all these guys that I have 16 months sober- and am going to the meetings while here in North Bergen.

I told John ‘I’m going to an NA meeting tonight’.

John asked which one ‘64th St. Union City’.

He knew it- him and his girlfriend from a few years back made all the meetings.

John talked openly about his addiction- the guys all know I’m friends with Nick- and Nick seems to be the main guy.

So that has helped a lot on this trip- opened up doors that usually take more than a week.

During this short trip- I was able to talk openly with my friends- because I spent 3 months here last year- making friends.
I talk openly about addiction- though I haven't held any official bible meeting- yet I have taught for many hours this past week- on the streets.

Why do this?

Well- the bible does say ‘go out into the highways and compel them to come in’

‘How can they hear without a preacher- how can they preach unless they be sent’.

We are supposed to do this- make the effort- if we all did this- then yes- we can make a difference.

I realize that some guys will not get clean- but some will.

The older crew- this year they really wanted to talk- many of them stayed for 2-3 hours after they were getting ready to leave.

At times I said ‘ok- see you tonight’ and they wouldn’t let me leave.

Why?

Everyone is seeking for meaning- many of them have had friends who died this year- some this week.

These were mutual friends.

So yeah- the real issues of life are what we talk about- it takes time- effort- sacrifice.

But it helps me- I’m sober today because I do this- I stay busy- I spend my days- both here- and in Texas- doing this stuff.

I have had more than one person- this past week- commend me on what ‘I do’.

Some say ‘not everyone can do this’.

Actually you can [ok- not the moms- but you guys who have been there- if you’re clean now- then you are required to do this- by God].
The apostle Paul said that the love of God constrained him- that because God saved him- he was now ‘in debt’ to bring the news about God to others.

To be honest- I love doing this.

But whether you love it or not- we are all supposed to at least try.

This trip was short- tomorrow I will spend another full day- my last day here.

Though the trip was short- yet these friendships from last year have opened up many doors.

Jesus said when we plant seed- some make it- some don’t.

But hell- if you never throw the seed out- I guarantee you- nothing with grow.

FRIDAY- As I wrap up this North Bergen trip- let me end with a few notes.

Went to bed at about midnight last night- and today did a long walk before I went to see the guys.
Sometimes when I walk- ‘ideas’ pop into my mind- to write about.

Today I was thinking about teaching ‘sacramental theology- the foundation of Catholic teaching on the Eucharist [John 6]’ and- believe it or not ‘on the foundational Principe of the Divine Logos- and how it relates to the material realm’.

Now- you might be thinking ‘Ok- John has obviously relapsed on this trip’.

Actually- no.

But- yes- these thoughts- and words- come to me- bringing up years of study- but I have been trying to ‘tone it down’ [dummy down?] my teaching- so things would be more practical.

Anyway- as I walked into Burger King- Daniel [the atheist] and Mike were there.

Daniel said ‘John will know’.

What?

He asked me what the technical word was for the ‘study of Words’.

Hmm?
I was just rejecting the idea that I should teach on Logos- the Greek word for word.

So- I told Daniel I did not remember- though I know there is a word for it.

We got it- Etymology [not Epistemology- which means the way we learn things].

Ok- just thought it interesting that I was meditating on it.

Daniel also told me a neat story- he knew a guy years ago who wrote the tune for the song ‘Walk- Don’t Run’.

This was the theme that God gave me for all of last year.

Funny how God can even speak to you thru an atheist.

Last year I knew I had to deal with stuff- lots of stuff
I knew I wanted to leave Texas- fast.

Yet- the words ‘walk- don’t run’ were so real- as guidance from God- that I painted them on my fence [which by the way I did a lot].

I felt God was telling me I had to be willing to move on- and maybe even leave Texas- but it had to be in his time.

To be honest- I never would have spent 3 months in New Jersey last year- unless I really believed I was moving- I did believe I was gone from the Lone Star state- for good.

Over time I went back to Texas- but now don’t really see any one place as my official ‘home’.

But- I never would have made this journey- unless stuff happened- and yeah- stuff did.

If I get a chance the next few weeks- I will teach the stuff I mentioned up top- but not today.

The point I wanted to make was God confirmed things to me- thru my friends.

This has happened a lot over the years- nothing new- to me.

In life we meet people- we interact with them- we respect their views- and when you become friends- you gain influence.

I’m surprised that during this trip me and Daniel [the atheist] hit it off so well.

He complimented me a lot- probably a little too much- but yeah- we are good friends.

And as I leave- well- he has made it a point that yeah- he is seeking God [he has shown me this in his own way].

Something came up today- that I didn’t know.

Daniel is a retired Rail Road cop- used to do security for the trains in THIS AREA- worked with the FBI.

I told Daniel ‘I have a confession to make- back in the 70’s I was with some guys- and down the hill one night we waited for the train- we jumped on it- had some bolt cutters- cut the lock- and robbed the train’.

How did he respond?

 He said ‘good- you guys were my job security’.

I’ll be heading back to Texas in a few hours- I had a good time this time around.

Didn’t accomplish anything real big- but did get some stuff done.

When I get back to Texas I plan on getting our meetings more established- working with the street guys- and yeah- keep doing the things that I have been doing for many years.

Some friends just follow the story- maybe read the Blog- or Facebook- that’s ok.

Others are ‘part of the story’ you read about the daily interaction that goes on- see the good- the bad- and the ugly.

Life is not neat- clean- or an easy ride- by no means.

But- when you go thru stuff- you need to keep going- that’s part of the process.

I want to cover a lot more- but for this trip I need to end it here.

To all my friends in North Bergen- love you all- had a good time- I’ll be back soon- God bless you all.

John.






Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots.




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