2057- SATURDAY- THE ROSARY AND A
WILL.
Yesterday I was going to spend
the day on the other side of town- by the halfway house.
I felt like I needed to take a break
from the homeless mission area.
Last week I had a new kid at the
house- he was wet- got caught in the rain- and it was cold.
I gave him some extra clothes and
let him change in my bedroom/office.
He took a long time- around 20
minutes- I thought the kid might be up to something.
I told him to hurry- and he came
out.
I checked the room later- I think
he went thru some stuff- but didn’t find anything missing.
A few days later I had a few guys
over- Roger came too.
I let the guys use the showers
and stuff.
I had just given Roger 2 radios-
little portable ones that I never used.
I gave him one- he lost it- a day
or so later I gave him the other.
I have an open house- I don’t
leave cash lying around- but I have lots of little collectibles and stuff- even
gold coins- to this day no one has ever taken anything.
When I was in New Jersey last
year- I bought a Rosary at St. Patrick’s cathedral in NYC.
The Crucifix broke off- so I
glued [I have a reputation for using gorilla glue on stuff- the guys kid me
about it- like my old van had gorilla glue on the mirrors and stuff- dripping
down the door].
My sister died last year- as I
helped go thru her apartment- she had lots of jewelry and stuff.
I kept a couple of nice crosses-
one was a blue jade cross- real unique.
I glued that cross to the Rosary-
truly one of a kind.
I hung it up in my bathroom- and
when I pray in the mornings I’ll wear it.
So- after the guys came to the
house- the next day I was at the mission- and one of the girls who makes beach
necklaces had all her boxes of beads and stuff on the table.
I helped her last week- she
needed a ride to the island to sell some- I took her and a few friends- she
sold a few- I had a good time talking to my buddies- it was a good day.
So- when I walked up to the table
where she had these beads out.
I saw a Rosary- from St. Patrick’s-
wow!
As a matter of fact- it had a
broken glued cross- just like mine!
I thought it was a miracle- you know-
what are the odds.
I told her how much it looked
like the one I made out of my sisters cross- except this cross was broken.
She told me Roger had given it to
her- the day before.
Roger was there- I showed him the
cross and asked if he took it from the huose- of course he said no- he said he
found it in a dumpster.
Ok- even though the odds were
slim- I waited till I got home to see if my rosary was still in the bathroom.
It wasn’t.
So- I really wasn’t mad- and was
grateful that I got it back- the odds of me finding it like I did- and the girl
telling me ‘you can take it John’ were slim to none.
But of course it bugged me- my
sisters jade cross was broken- I already put the last cross I had from Laura on
the new rosary- it’s ready to go.
Then yesterday- I was going thru
my file box [in the room where Lance dressed- for 20 minutes!].
And I couldn’t find my mom’s
will.
A few years ago I told her she needed
to make one- and for her- it was hard.
But she did it- and mailed me the
copies.
Well- the copies were gone.
I looked around- asked my wife if
she took it- nope.
Aha- that kid Lance took it!
So- I should have waited- but
didn’t.
I jumped in the car- pissed off-
and headed to the mission.
It was early- but I was dropping
some F bombs ‘I’m looking for Lance- he stole my f&^%ng will’.
I was hot- looked for a few
minutes- and took off.
I headed to the other side of
town- mad.
I did help Pop’s out- spent some
time with John David- actually did some ministry.
The guys at Timmons must have
heard- and I got a few calls- texts ‘John- lance is here’.
I’m sure the poor kid [25 years
Old?- did some prison time in Pennsylvania- was telling me his story one day-
thought he might be too tough for our meetings. I told him ‘look- were going to
do a meeting with David- he killed his best friend’ Lance said ‘Oh’.]
I like the kid- he’s young- and on
a bad road.
So- I didn’t answer the phone- I needed
to cool off.
As the day went on- I realized
that when I got back from New Jersey- I couldn't find the will.
Yeah- lance never took the thing.
Now I feel bad- I mean I went
after the kid.
But- it came right in the
aftermath of my sisters Rosary- and it set me off.
Even John David [who got calls
asking if I was there- the guys were looking for me].
He saw I was not at my best- kind
of in a rage to be honest.
My buddies have never stolen from
me- the Rosary was a first.
Last year when I was in North Bergen
I did get a text from my wife that the house was robbed- and my fathers prized
shotguns- handed down to him from his father- were stolen.
I never told my dad- these were special
to him- when he gave them to me he made me promise never to sell them [or pawn
them].
So- when I heard the news in N.J.
- I had already ‘figured’ who might have taken them.
But- I knew I couldn’t do anything
about it- but in my mind I knew I would do something when I got back to Texas.
But- because I had to finish another
month in Jersey- over time I cooled off.
Later we found who took the guns-
it was not any of my street friends at all.
Yesterday I should have waited-
but I went off the handle.
I’ll see the kid in a few days-
and apologize.
I’m sure the guy's at the mission
told him ‘John was looking for you- and he was mad’.
I got home and read the chapter
for the day- proverbs 19.
‘The discretion of a man
deferreth his anger- and it is his glory to pass over a transgression’
‘A man of great wrath shall
suffer punishment- for if thou deliver him- yet you must do it again’
God spoke to me- hopefully I will
do better next time.
SUNDAY- During the day of the
above incident- I spent some time at John David’s house.
I do the halfway house with him-
and I have worked with his brothers for many years.
I know them thru the street
ministry that I do.
David is kind of isolated in his
area of town- so he tells me he loves it when I spend a day just in his area.
We talk- fellowship- and have a
good time.
The other day when I was there I
told him how over the years my friendship with his brother Huey has simply been
a friendship.
Sometimes he comes by to hang
out- he had some busted ribs a year ago- he spent a couple of days crashed out
in my spare room.
Huey came by to see me last year-
when I told the guys it was time for me to move on- I was leaving Texas.
He played a few songs for me on
his guitar- things he wrote in prison- talked to me like a brother ‘John-
sometimes in life things happen- and we just do our best for the rest of the
journey’.
I must say that my street friends
were the most gracious and accepting- the ‘church’ people often live behind
masks- they don’t even know at times how to live- or respond- when people go
thru stuff.
Anyway- John David started
telling me more of his brother Hueys story.
He remembers the time when they
were kids- going to a Fundamental Baptist church- how Huey stood up during one
of the altar calls- was crying- and said ‘ I dont feel God anymore’.
David told me that Huey's wife-
Diane- was in a bad car wreck.
His son suffered permanent brain
damage- and his wife had permanent amnesia.
After the wreck- he would go and
try and see her in the hospital- she didn’t know who he was- she was afraid of
him.
He reached out to her- but he was
a stranger to her.
I asked David how long this went
on- he said for the rest of her life till she died a few year ago- she never
lived with him again.
How devastating.
I told David it was important for
me to know this- I try to learn the guy’s stories- and it gives me insight into
how I can help them.
On the way back to the bluff [this
was the same day that I went off the rails so to speak] I decided to stop by my
prayer spot right off the Oso bay.
It’s a spot down by the water where
I walked to alot last year- and prayed right off the waters edge.
I love that spot- often I would
be there early- 5 am or so- and when it’s dark- the wind blowing- seeing the
stars- it feels great.
I haven’t been there in a while-
and I decided to go.
As I parked the car and walked
down to the concrete pilings- I saw a note on a tree.
Last year I told one of my homeless
friends- Tim- that being we have no way to communicate- I’ll leave him a note
on this tree.
Me and Tim go way back- but most
of the street friends I’m working with now don’t know Tim.
He avoids the mission- works as a
carpenter- and I only see him when I do my early walks.
So- I take the note off the tree-
it says ‘THIS AINT NO HOTEL- MOVE ALONG BUD- N.S.A.
P.S.- GET A HAIRCUT’
Now- being I was already a little
paranoid- and kind of on the edge- the first thing I thought was ‘Who the hell
is following me!’
But after a few minutes I thought
‘I bet it’s old Tim- kidding around’.
Me and Tim joke a lot- he as a
sense of humor like me.
He’s smart- knows current events-
so I figured the N.S.A. remark was a joke- you now how they [national security
agency] have been tapping all our phones and stuff.
So- I put on some classic rock
and walked my spot.
Sure enough Tim was riding his
bike over the bride and saw me at the spot.
He rides up ‘hey- did you get my
note?’ [it’s been up there for a month or 2]
‘Yeah bro- I knew the NSA was
watching me’!
We talked a bit- he’s a real good
friend.
I debated about telling him about
what happened this day- me losing it.
He tells me ‘man John- I was riding
my bike under the overpass and some drunk guy started yelling at me- ‘I’m gonna
kick your ass’.
He tells me ‘you know- we are
like sheep- but when people push us too far- we can become like lions’.
Funny- Tim had no idea what
happened this day- but Tim has a prophetic gift [this is not the first this has
happened].
I decided to tell him the story.
I have experienced real
community- open community- with my buddies.
Often times they are more real
than church people.
There struggles are not known- we
see these guys living on the streets- we wonder what led them to a life like this.
Some do ok- they are indeed living
the lives that they want- in Tim’s case there really is nothing wrong with it.
He’s not breaking the law- he
quit drinking a few years back [he said he always got into trouble when he
drank].
And he’s doing ok.
When you see these people- these
friends of mine- try to remember that they too have gone thru stuff- things that
many of us would find hard to deal with.
Last year when Huey gave me the
advice ‘Yeah John- in life things happen to us- and we have to do our best and move
on’.
I had no idea from whence he
spoke.
NOTE- When my wife told me we got
robbed- and that they took the shotguns.
The person I started ‘targeting’
[in my mind] was Huey.
Why? At my house I keep the back
door- to my former office- wide open. Not just unlocked- but yes- open. I do
this because I play Christian music from that room- and it’s kind of a
‘spiritual’ sacrifice of praise that goes out- 24/7.
I kept the shotguns in that room.
So- Huey [as well as all the
guys] know this.
Before I left to ‘move’ to North
Bergen- Huey asked about the guns- took them down- looked at them.
My wife also called one day and
said Huey had come by a bunch of times- asking if he could take the stuff my
wife dumped in a huge trailer that was in front of the house.
When I left Texas- my wife asked
if I needed anything from my back office- whatever I didn’t want- was going in
the dumpster [even my safe! Well- she did warn me].
So- because of this I began
thinking Huey was the prime suspect.
But- before I found out who did
it- I already decided to drop it [it took a few weeks for me to cool off and
let it go- because I just wasn’t sure who did it].
Now- after reading all the above-
it would have been tragic if I did something.
Thank God nothing happened.
MONDAY- Genesis 2:7-9, 3:1-7.
Romans 5:12-19. Matthew 4:1-4. The verses from last week’s Catholic Mass [1st
Timothy 2:14, 1st Corinthians 15:45-47- These were not part of the
Liturgy- but I find them helpful for the study].
Yesterday I went to the Mass at
the Corpus Christi Cathedral.
On the way out I ran into Walter-
an older guy I met last year at the church.
He told me I looked so much like his
son- that he thought I was his son.
I like going to the Cathedral for many reasons-
one of them is I need a place- people- who don’t know my story.
I’m not comfortable about posting
all of this stuff- but I realized last year that this was indeed part of ‘the
plan’.
What plan John?
About 2-3 years ago I
re-connected with my old friends from North Bergen- I always wanted them to be
a part of the ministry.
So- thru the avenue of Facebook- thanks
to Mark Zuckerberg [who is Jewish- one of the callings of the Jewish people was
they were used of God to receive- and communicate the law- word of God- they
made what God was saying available].
So- thru Zuckerberg’s unique gift
[founding Facebook] that was an open door to share the story with my old
friends.
Great!
Then of course everything
happened- in a public way.
My first response was ‘delete the
blog- Facebook- and call it a day’.
But- I realized that this was
part of the plan.
When Jesus sat with his men at
the Last Supper- he told them ‘take-eat- this is my Body- broken for you’.
In order for them [us] to
benefit- he had to be broken.
In a way- all the ‘broken pieces’
of his life- would be food for them.
On my way out of the Mass- I
talked to Walter.
Now- he has been telling me how
he has been having all types of experiences with God- he tells his wife ‘look-
Gods speaking to me every day- I don’t know what’s going on’.
I have shared some of my story
with Walter- but I don’t give the website to any of these people- I need the
anonymity to some degree.
I shared with him the teaching
from last week- Isaiah 38- God told Hezekiah ‘get your house in order- you’re
going to die’.
Now- I of course didn’t leave him
hanging with such an uplifting word- but finished the story.
He told me just the other day he
was thinking of an old friend- then read the obituaries- sure enough he died.
Walter asked ‘maybe God’s telling
me I’m gonna die’.
I told him that I did feel that this
year was a year where God was saying that we need to set our priorities right-
because our lives our short.
The next day or 2 I want to teach
on the above verses- they come right from the Mass- which really is the best
outline I can use.
One of my callings is to help the
church [Catholics- Protestants- etc.] to see the bigger picture.
To see how God is working with
all of us- speaking to all of us.
Walter asked me ‘John- are you a
cop’.
He knows I’m a retired
firefighter- but he asked me this because he said I seem like a cop [which by
the way is not helpful when trying to make friends with dealers! - Like my NY
trip last year].
I told him no.
But I think he was picking up on
a sort of God given authority to carry out a mandate- which includes what was
happening at this moment- to communicate God to my Catholic friends.
He asked if I taught adult
classes- I told him I was on the radio for many years- and did indeed teach
adults.
I like my friendship with Walter-
just a sincere older guy- faithful to the church- and seeing how God is working
in his life- in ways that seem to surprise him.
Me too.
TUESDAY- EYES WIDE OPEN-
Had a good meeting in Corpus yesterday- and
will be doing one in Bishop today.
Let’s cover what I’m teaching in
the meetings.
Like I said at the top- these
verses come from last Sundays Mass- I want my Catholic friends to see that
there is a pattern to the scriptures that the Church uses in the Liturgy of the
Word each week.
Okay- the verses talk about the
fall of man in the garden- God created man and woman and put them in the Garden
of Eden.
In this garden there were lots of
trees- only 2 are given names. [the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge
of good and evil].
God said ‘you can eat of the
fruit of all the trees- except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil’.
The only restriction was to not
eat of this tree.
We read that the serpent [satan] tempted
Eve and said ‘God knows that in the day you eat of it- you will be like him-
knowing good and evil’.
Now- this part is important- the
bible tells us that Eve believed this- she believed the whole story [we read
later when they eat of the tree- part of this was true- God does ban them from
the garden- because they did in a way gain a knowledge of good and evil that they
did not have before].
So- Eve eats- and the bible says
‘she gave to her husband- AND HE DID EAT’.
Now- at the end of this short
study- this will be the most important part.
After Adam and Eve eat- the judgment
God pronounced comes to pass [in the day you eat- you will die].
That day they died a spiritual
death- God cast them out of the garden- and put an angel with a flaming sword
to protect the garden- the tree of life [a type of the Cross of Christ- in the
New testament Peter says Jesus died on ‘the tree’- Jesus is called The Branch [Zechariah]
- there are many references that allude to Jesus as the true vine- Tree- etc.]
Man was cursed with a curse- the
ground would not bring forth ‘with ease’ anymore- but with toil and hard labor
man would work the fields.
The Woman would experience pain
in child birth- and there was a basic ‘curse’ put on man and the ground because
of this original sin.
Now- in Romans 5- the apostle Paul
teaches that just like the sin of one man [Adam] passed the consequences [death]
to all men.
So- the righteousness [obedience]
of one man- Jesus- would pass the free gift of life and grace to all men [that
believe].
In the verses I added at the top-
Paul teaches that Jesus is the last Adam- he is the Adam that becomes the new federal
head of the people of God.
Jesus faced temptation too [Matt
4] but he- unlike Adam- did not sin.
Now- there are many ways that you
can ‘see’ how Adam [as well as many of the Old Testament heroes of the faith]
are simply pictures- symbols of Jesus.
I think this one is the most
vital.
We read in the letter of Timothy
that Eve was deceived- not Adam.
What does this mean?
It means that Eve sinned- and
became separated from God- because she DID NOT KNOW THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
She believed the lie [that she
could partake- and not die- be separated from God].
But Adam went into it- eyes wide
open.
Why?
He loved her so much- even though
he knew that to follow her in death would separate him from God- whom he loved
as well.
Bu his love for his soul mate was
so strong that he willingly walked away from God- to be with his love.
A true love story if there ever
was one.
Now- I think this is the greatest
way that Adam prefigures Christ.
How?
The last week or so- every time I
have Henry over- he wants to watch the movie The Passion [Mel Gibson].
When we see the struggle of Jesus
in the garden [see- another garden temptation] we see real agony.
Some say that Jesus feared death-
they are wrong [Bill O'Reilly said this in his book Killing Jesus- that’s why
it would be better for political pundits to not write too many books on
theology].
Jesus didn't fear death- his
struggle was ‘drinking’ the sin of the world into himself- and for the first
time- from all eternity- to be separated from God.
At the Cross Jesus was indeed
forsaken of God- and experienced a true separation from God.
Now- why the struggle?
The bible refers to us- as the
Bride of Christ.
The apostle Paul says the love
and ‘obsession’ that Christ has for the church [his bride] is so much greater
than what a man and a woman experience when they are truly in love.
Now- Jesus [like Adam] ‘walked
away’ from the presence of God- to be with the love of his life.
His eyes were wide open.
Now do you see?
1Timothy 2:14 And Adam
was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1Corinthians 15:45 And
so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was
made a quickening spirit.
1Corinthians 15:46
Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and
afterward that which is spiritual.
1Corinthians 15:47 The
first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the Lord from heaven.
Romans 5:17, 19 for if by one man’s sin death reigned by one-
much more they which receive abundance of the grace and gift of righteousness
shall reign in life by one- Jesus Christ- for as by one man’s disobedience many
were made sinners- so by the obedience of one shall many be made right.
TUESDAY NIGHT- Just got back from
our Bishop meeting- will comment on that tomorrow.
But wanted to get in a few
updates first.
I did our Bluff meeting
yesterday- and have one more to go for the week.
At the beginning of the year I
was doing just about 1 a day- and did some in different cities/spots- not
knowing if they would be 1 time meetings or more.
That’s ok- often times you ‘cast
the seed’ with the expectation that some will make it- some not.
But I felt the Lord saying- even
if some are 1 or more- to value each one- to try and impart a blessing on the
people in these settings.
This year I also began praying
the ‘blessing of the Father’ over the sons.
Trying to affirm the value of
people- that they have tremendous value- even though we all have a long way to
go.
I just finished watching the movie
The Dallas Buyers club- it was truly a great movie.
Because it dealt with the real
issues of life- how we all carry prejudice- but when we go through things- when
we walk in others shoes for the proverbial mile- we can then have empathy- and
yes- sympathy for the plight of others.
Those of you who have been
reading the posts and looking at the pictures on Facebook.
You will see the pictures of the
cute pooch Chico that I have posted.
Chico was the little pup that has
been going with me and Whistler to most of the meetings.
When Whistlers brother Larry came
to town- Chico spent the night with me- he played with my 4 dogs [yes- 4- not
my choice by the way- but my kids see the lost dogs like I see my homeless
friends- they have the rescue mentality].
The other week at the mission-
when it was real cold.
I walked out the door and some
guy was sitting next to Chico in a box- covered with a blanket.
I walked out for a smoke- and saw
Chico all excited- I don’t really know the guy well- who was kinda watching the
pooch at the time.
I walked over- kissed the pooch-
told the guy ‘yeah- Chico is like a son- he goes with me to the meetings and
all’.
The guy said ‘yeah- he jumped out
of the box when he saw you’.
For the past 2 days I haven’t
seen Whistler- I asked if anyone had seen him- I was getting kind of worried.
He called me last night ‘John-
just wanted to let you know I’ll be going to Bishop with you tomorrow’.
He told me he was on the other
side of town- with the lady who owned Chico- she got her house and took Chico back.
I could tell that Whistler missed
Chico.
So- he told me he spent a day or
2 there to see ‘his’ dog.
When Chico was at the house- well
let’s say he ‘took a liking’ to my male dogs.
Ok- he also put the moves on
gunner a few times at the mission [Dirks dog].
Now- to my gay friends- no
offence- ok?
But me and Whistler would kid the
dog- sort of like ‘Hey Chico we need to find you a woman- turn you to the other
side’.
He came out of ‘the box’- if you
will.
So Whistler tells me that Chico
found a girlfriend at his new home. Yeah- another Chi Wawa- and he ‘fell in
love’.
Cool!
I was waiting at the mission- for
Whistler to call- I told him I would pick him up on the way to Bishop.
At about 12:30 the phone rang.
It was Whistler.
‘John- I have bad news’.
It sounded like he was crying.
‘What’s wrong’?
Chico’s dead.
They don’t know what happened- he
wasn’t hit by a car- maybe he ate something [or maybe someone didn’t like him-
and did something].
It was so sad- no- I didn’t cry-
but told a few people at the mission- and Clare cried her eyes out.
In a way- Chico was a lesson.
I have known Whistler for many
years- yet this last year we have become pretty good friends.
His brother Larry [who I made friends
with for a couple of days- talked to him about this being Gods time for him- on
his journey].
Larry called me from San Antonio-
he’s getting baptized tomorrow- for the first time.
He’s wanting me to start a group
in San Antonio- I will try.
Whistler and I- we both loved that little dog- we had a
common bond- a common ‘love’ for the pooch.
That’s also how ministry works-
you love the people- and when you join with others in the mission- you share a
common love for the people.
Chico had a short life- he had
fun at my house.
When we pulled up in the car- he
would run out and run up to my door- my dogs inside knew he was here- I would
kid Chico- ‘hey boy- your running right up to the door like you live here!
Yeah- in a way- he did.
WEDNESDAY-
Let’s close this week’s post with
a few updates.
We had a good meeting in Bishop
yesterday- basically covered the verses in this post.
During the meeting my phone rang-
I figured ‘I’ll check it when I’m done.
After we finished the guys just
hung out for about a half hour- talking about life- a real sense of
community/fellowship.
I checked the phone- it was Rick-
my buddy from North Bergen.
I called back- and he just said
the guys wanted to keep in touch- waiting for me to come back for my annual
trip.
I told them it will be sooner-
not later in the year.
We talked a bit- my ‘Texas crew’
were right there- as I was in touch with the North Bergen crew.
I felt like the Lord was showing
me that some of the purposes he had for me were finally coming to pass this
year.
Before I left Corpus for the
Bishop meeting- I ran into Cameron at the mission- told him I wanted him to go.
I only had Henry with me [he just
rang the bell by the way as I'm typing] - and try and take at least 2 of the
Bluff guys when I do an out of town meeting.
Cameron said he had some stuff to
do- I see the kid is already on the same track that got him put back in jail
last year [testing positive on his piss test- and having his probation
revoked].
So- he got in the car- I was
gonna drop him off down the block.
I put on some Christian music [I
usually listen to the rock stuff- but it was ministry time].
And he made a call- I heard him
say ‘look- I’ll meet you later- change of plans’.
The kid told me ‘let’s go to
Bishop John’.
He had [has] struggles- but made
the better choice- at least for the moment.
As we made the drive- I told the guys
how many times I drove this route over the years- on my way to work in
Kingsville.
As we passed the airport- I told
them how about 7 year ago I was driving my truck- without my seat belt on- and
was on my 2nd Magnum [40 ounce beer].
I hit the curb- doing about 70-
in the middle of the day- lots of traffic.
I spun the truck around twice
right in the middle of the road.
This was a 2002 dodge- very easy
to flip these.
The truck wound up back on the
road- and I just kept going- still drinking the open beer- and never gave it a
second thought.
I always said when I retired I
would keep ‘the pledge’ and do the things I always wanted- go to North Bergen-
start an outreach in the area- drive the south Texas circuit- expand outward.
But after I retired in 2008- I
still had quite a drinking problem- and being I no longer had to do the 1 sober
day out of 3 [I worked a 24 hour shift- and that was my sober day]
I started drinking every day.
So- I told the kid that set me
back- that was holding things up.
When I spent the day with John
David the other day [who I will see today] we had a good time- talked about
life- the next step for our ministry partnership with the halfway house.
As we reminisced about the last
year or 2- how in the middle of my personal firestorm- God did stuff.
He told me ‘you know John- you have
been thru some stuff- and your moving ahead anyway’.
Actually- I felt like my ‘moving
ahead’ was for a purpose- a sign to a lot of my AA friends- that the best way
to recover is to move on in life- don’t surround your life with the ‘purpose of
recovery’ no- you recover best when your focus is not on ‘recovery’ [it’s a law
versus grace mindset- I’ve taught this a few times this past year].
Cameron said ‘yeah John- your
keeping your promise- that’s what I need to do too’.
I did a meeting at my house the
other day- Art was here.
I’ve known him for a while- he
and John David were good buddies when they were both using [Meth].
It’s funny- some of my buddies are
connected with the ministry- and they have these old friendships that go way
back.
I had to explain to the guys why
I ‘flipped out’ the other day.
At the end of the story I told
Art that my street friends have never taken anything from me- that the Rosary
that Roger took- was a first.
Art said ‘well- he won’t be
coming over here anymore’.
I said I thought about it- and I probably
will have Roger back.
I told Art that lots of addicts
get rejected by their families for this very thing [I have had friends who robbed
their moms and sisters and stuff].
And in a way- for me to not do
the same thing- shows them grace.
Now- I know some might think ‘you
let the guys walk all over you’.
Trust me- they don’t.
I confront these guys straight
up- it’s a real family type thing.
I saw Lance at Timons- had to
apologize for thinking he stole the will.
But- I told him why I thought it happened.
‘Kid- you took a long damn time
getting dressed in my room- I thought you went thru some stuff- think you still
did- but I was wrong about the will’.
So- I’m straight up with these
boys.
And when I’m in the wrong- I say
so.
When I did my New Jersey trip
last year- for 3 months- John David warned me- having only 6 months clean- and
attempting to hit the streets- and hang out with addicts and dope heads.
I mean- this indeed was a
violation of the principles of AA/NA.
Then- about half way thru my 3
month tour- I stopped going to the meetings.
Yeah- all the signs looked bad.
But- this was the promise- the
pact I made to God many years ago.
As I took the risk- made some
good friends- I never used- or wanted to.
One day I was hanging out with Nick
at Hudson County park.
I was sitting in the same spot
where I had some bad experiences [violent] as a kid some 30 years before.
Nick was playing his guitar- I
was singing some classic rock- rick and John [a retired cop- alcoholic] were
enjoying the sun and breeze from the man-made lake.
At that moment- right by the New
York skyline- just looking at the whole scene.
I felt Gods presence the most- more
than at any other time on my journey.
Even though I was in major transition
in life- being warned to not be with these guys or I would ‘relapse’.
Yet- I felt God the most.
Why?
I finally kept the promise.
Note- Do me a favor, those who
read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read
them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBookl]
- I have posted lots.
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