2045- A Christian perspective on
AA/NA.
I debated about doing one final
post on my experience with AA/NA [Alcoholics anonymous- Narcotics anonymous].
Why?
I want to do an honest critique-
not only from personal experience- but from the experiences of others.
Yesterday I saw a new resident at
our halfway house- I wanted to meet him- a mutual friend had told me this new
addition to the house used to be his sponsor- and he relapsed- again.
As a matter of fact- my friend
told me that all 5 of his sponsors- over the past 5 years- have relapsed.
The friend who was telling me
this- has an addiction to prescription pills- buys- sells- spends whole days in
his addiction.
Yet- he too is a sponsor- and
does not consider himself an addict- because he has not had ‘one beer in 5
years’.
I tell these stories for the
benefit of those who might be saying ‘Gee John- that’s me too!’
Over the years of Pastoral
ministry- I of course was familiar with AA.
I spoke about AA in a positive
way- most pastors did not.
Many had trouble with the ‘higher
power’ concept- not me- till this day most of my friends have found God and
refer to God when they use this language.
Yes- many good people have found
God and have become clean thru the program.
But- the above scenario has been repeated
many times- in just my short year in AA.
I asked the sponsor who relapsed-
let’s call him Chuck.
‘Chuck- I was looking forward to
meeting you- I have heard lots of great things about you- how long were you
clean [this last time] before you relapsed’.
3 years.
‘Ok- what’s the longest clean
time you have had- since you have been in AA’?
8.
‘How long have you been in AA’?
25 years.
Chuck is 58 years old.
‘Chuck’ was standing in the same
room- at our halfway house- as another resident of the house was just a day or
2 before.
Let’s call him ‘Paul’.
Paul has the same story.
Knows the Big Book- quotes it-
has been in AA for 30 years.
And is now 5 months clean- after
multiple years of clean stints- and relapses.
Then- one of our newest residents came in-
high as a kite [He did not know I was there- or he would not have come in. If
you get high- you get kicked out of the Halfway House].
Just about a week before- I had a
talk with him about why I feel the AA meetings are not for me.
[Though all the guys at the house
are very involved with AA- and I will still take them to meetings- and in no
way try to hinder them from what they feel they need to do].
I have tried to be very nice- and
honest- about this.
I told this kid ‘son- you keep referring
to yourself as someone with a disease that others just don’t have’.
I went on and told him that sin-
in its essence- is sort of like a disease.
But all people suffer from it to
one degree or another.
And for the past 2 thousands
years- many people have overcome addictive lifestyles thru the grace of God.
I told him that when we do
overcome these addictions- it would be better to simply view ourselves as yes-
sinners- but sinners who have accessed God’s grace- and are the same as all
other sinners.
I found the mindset of ‘I have a
disease that makes me different than others’ to be counterproductive in some
cases.
One friend says ‘John- we are
INSANE- the book says we are insane. Why else would someone go back out and
drink after many years of being sober- see- we must be insane’!
Well actually- people go out and
chose to sin- because they are sinners.
And yes- some might describe this
as insanity.
But my friend used this argument
in a way that said ‘see- WE ARE in another group of people- who are different-
both mentally and physically than normal people’.
[As a side note- I hope to get to
this very point in this study. But- Alcoholism does not fit the category of a
disease- like other diseases. Now- to be sure- the EFFECTS of putting substances
into your body- whatever they be- do indeed CAUSE diseases- but the actual
addiction to a substance- apart from babies being born from mothers who used
during pregnancy- is not a disease in the classic sense. Many believe because
the medical associations did indeed accept it as a disease- that this makes it
one. Many doctors do not embrace this idea at all- and if you simply compare
the normal idea of disease- with an addict- they are not the same].
So- as someone who never took a
negative view of AA- and still does not- I began to see inherent- if you will-
structural problems inside the system.
I also found too many defenders
of the movement- who were actively in relapse- to some degree- and yet did not
want to admit it- because they took a view of AA like some Christians have
about their particular church/denomination.
And they hid their relapse
because they wanted to defend their movement.
[Note- when people find their
identity by having a particular ‘clean date’- and when so much rides upon that
date- 2-3- 10 year celebrations- if they relapse- there is a very real sense
that ‘all is lost’. I think the ‘identity of addiction/non addiction’ a term I
have coined- is counterproductive. Too much emphasis is placed on the DON’T
EVER USE command. While I believe- and practice total abstinence- by God’s
grace- yet I do not see it thru a legalistic mentality- a LAW mentality. Over
the years I have taught about the difference between law and grace. And I think
focusing so much on a person’s clean date can lead to a terrible fall-
depression- because many who relapse then try and come back and work twice as
hard then before- which can be legalistic].
Some have said ‘for the FIRST
TIME in man’s history a way has been given…’
[If I remember- I think this is
read at the meetings?]
Now- once again- I know this
statement means well- but it’s simply not true.
And if you begin believing this [that
God has given- for the FIRST TIME- a plan that will work] then you become a
defender of a movement [though good] in a way that certain cultic members
defend their movements.
‘God has- for the first time-
restored the true church’- etc. etc.
So- I have read up this last year
on the entire Addiction/Recovery industry- and I want to share more up to date
info.
Historically- more people have
achieved recovery thru the Church- thru not only ‘attending church’ [which is
not ‘church’ to the full degree of being a practicing Christian] but thru
either the participation of the sacramental life of the High Church denominations
[Catholics- Orthodox, etc] or thru the usual means of the dispensation of Grace
from a Protestant perspective [Altar Call- Baptism- witnessing- etc].
What I mean is- more addicts have
become clean thru the practice of the Christian faith- than in AA- period.
I don’t say this as a ‘shot’ at
AA.
Some have said ‘I tried church-
it didn’t work’.
I asked ‘what do you mean- you tried
church’.
‘Well- I went to church on
Sunday- watched religious shows- etc.’
I would then respond ‘no- that’s
not CHURCH’.
I responded ‘no- Jesus- and Christianity
teach -you must give it away to keep it’ [a main theme in AA].
I told him ‘what you tried was simply
going to a Christian church meeting without practicing the ‘whole program’.
Which includes many [if not all]
of the steps that you would follow in AA.
Which indeed is where Bill and
the founders based their movement on, it was at one time called THE JAMES
GROUP- named after the letter of James in the New Testament.
The point I was making was- I
have had more than one well intending person simply write off THE CHURCH- not
realizing that they never really tried THE CHURCH.
That is- they never really implemented
the teachings of Christ fully- and many others- over a 2 thousand year history-
had.
So- once again- this is not to
say that God is not working in AA/NA.
No- without a doubt he is.
But because I have had many experiences
this past year- of people- who after 30 years or so- continue to relapse.
[Note- these people- without an
exception- when I asked them what happened. They simply believed that it was
their fault. Now- maybe so. But to the point of ‘no- this program has BEEN
PROVEN to have never failed- for those who do it fully’ is taught in the Big
Book. But there are many- I’m sure- that might have failed because of other reasons.
Like I’m explaining today. See- if after multiple stories of relapse- and if
you are reading the words in The Big book- that says ‘up to now- all who
failed- did so because of ..’ some fault of their own- then this can become a
self-defeating cycle. There might be- and indeed are- other reasons that some
of these people continue to relapse. Some have developed such a defeatist view
of themselves- and at times an irresponsible one ‘I have a disease- that’s why
this happens to me’. See- some have embraced wrong- false ideas. And it is
possible that this minority [or majority?] of cases- they are relapsing because
they need better- more up to date help with their addictions].
If you hold to this outdated view
[that all who have followed this system have never been known to fail- up to
now] - penned by good men about 80 years ago.
Then you need to be updated on
the latest data.
[Maybe at the time that Bill
wrote this- it was true- but not now. And to continue to tell people that all
who followed the plan never relapsed- is simply not true].
Updating these mistaken concepts would help
the movement- in my view.
For their sake- those who have a
history of relapse after many years in the program- over the next few days I
want to give you a balanced approach.
Though I am clean for a year- I
really don’t see this as some ‘rare’ thing.
Nor do I want to use my example
as the basis for this study.
No- the actual data show us that
more people over the past 2 thousand years- have become free from addictions-
thru the practicing of Christianity [and to be fair- other religious
disciplines as well- Islam- etc.- which teach biblical principles of self-discipline-
prayer- fasting- etc] then following any other program.
The bible does indeed tell us that we can
chose to ‘sin not’.
That’s really not such a surprise-
to have to go thru all types of other things- then to simply seek God- apply
the teachings of your church- and yeah- many get clean.
Ok- I don’t want this final post
on AA to be negative.
Those in the movement that have
found freedom- I bless you.
If you were to ask me a percentage
number on the ‘good versus bad’.
Geez - I would say 90% is good-
maybe 10 % needs a correction- a structural change within the movement.
The problem is- because AA is
truly a movement- and yes- a God given movement [but not THE FIRST- or only].
Run by what we call ‘laymen’ [the
biblical principle of the actual followers running the show- this is very biblical
in nature- and because the meetings are founded this way- with no single Pastor
type person- the meetings are in my view run in a more biblical way than many
churches].
But at the same time- I don’t
know how the movement can make the adjustments that in needs to make.
There are many examples I can
give- from well-meaning people in the program- who simply do not realize that
their view of AA/NA in general has become ‘cultic’.
Just one example- out of many.
One friend was giving me the NA
book- and of course as a reader- who has also read many more up to date
materials on addiction- I received the book graciously- and told him I would
start reading.
Which I of course did- like I did
with the Big Book.
But he told me that all the other
books I read- they were ABOUT addiction-
no- this one was different than all others [once again- the same cultic
approach you see in various Christian cults- who are also very good people- but
have a sort of higher view of the writings of their movement- sort of like
scripture].
My friend simply believed that
the NA book he was giving me was one of a kind.
That every other book on drug
addiction fell into the category of ‘about addiction’
But that this one- this was the
only one that saved you from addiction.
Once again- all well-meaning
people- but these signs are danger signs- at least to me.
They come too close to the more extreme
Christian churches- who also hold to these types of views about their writings.
I also found that many appealed
to their own example [though as of now- every one that has discussed this with
me- has seemed to have relapsed]
I would say ‘don’t just look at
me- or any other person- no- the data show [data- other books- studies] show
that many are getting clean thru these other approaches’.
[Note- in my discussions- some
friends openly admit this- they say that the Book says there are other programs
that work. But yet later- they will also still hold to the concept that FOR THE
FIRST TIME God gave a program that frees people. These 2 ideas are contrary. I
think some simple changes to the language would help].
One friend- a leader in the local
movement- would tell me outright that reading the other literature was sort of
being unfaithful to the Big Book.
I gave him my other books on addiction-
he did not read them.
But then when we got into these
discussions.
Maybe he would say ‘No- this is
the first time a God given program has been shown to man…’
I would simply quote the latest
data- which shows this belief to be false.
He would say ‘I never heard
that’.
I would respond ‘if you don’t
read anything else on addiction- but simply keep re-reading the 154 pages
[which seems to be a sort of Fundamentalist approach within the movement itself-
I have heard some Old Timers say the 154 are the key] over and over again- then
you will never broaden your perspective about anything- including addiction
recovery!’
2; AA/NA AND THE SEX ISSUE
Note- when I post these types of
post on Facebook- my intent is not to ‘preach’ to my friends who are living in
various situations [I have gay friends- friends in different situations]. No-
these types of posts are for those who are in these types of groups- AA- etc.
and seem to be wanting a lifestyle change to some degree. So- for those who
keep seeking some difference- and keep stumbling over stuff- for those- I
thought this type of post might help- ok- trust me- I don’t wish to offend
anyone.
I want to cover Sponsors in one
post- but first let’s get to what I think might be the most important aspect of
why some- in AA/NA- might still be struggling- with continual relapse- after an
entire lifetime in the program.
This past year as I did read the
Big Book- and attended meetings- I noticed- and was told- that many in AA/NA
have ‘traded one addiction for another’.
Actually one of our first Halfway
House residents told me how- in his view- many have traded the substance
addiction for ‘sex addiction’.
That is- a lot of the people are
‘picking up’ people for sex- to put in bluntly.
[Ill post the rest tomorrow]
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