Journal March 6- May 6 [2013]
Note- Do me a favor, those who
read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read
them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook] -
I have posted lots.
GOOD BYE MY SON [Please pray for
me as I will you]
Saw the guys yesterday at the
halfway house.
I haven’t heard from Cameron in a
few days- he was one of the new kids that I took a liking to.
Of course I love all the
brothers- we are all seeking God together.
But Cameron was a new kid- around
23 or so- and he graduated from the high school that my kids went to- he was in
school at the same time.
So- it was kinda funny/sad- I
would tell my kids ‘hey- one of the new boys was from your crowd’.
I showed them Cameron’s pic- but
they didn’t recognize him.
So- the few days I was with him-
we would talk about the Lord- getting clean- I kinda was doing the Father
figure thing with him.
One day he got this new key
chain- it was a dice thing- I told him I liked it ‘gee- I wish someone would
donate one to me’.
He laughed- it was like his only
possession- and I wanted the thing!
So the next day he texts me
‘sorry I was a little boutique yesterday- had a rough day’.
I still have no idea what that
means- but I guess he felt he was out of line.
I texted him back ‘no boy- all is
well- I would be feeling better though if I had a key chain dice type thing’!
He texts ‘your jokes are not
funny! …’
So- I liked the kid.
He started his own lawn and
garden business- was off to work every single day [not something the other guys
at the halfway house do- not all of them].
He was a great singer- rhythm and
blues- for real- could have made a CD.
I sing the classic rock songs- I
do pretty well to be honest- one of the guys at the Fire Dept. thought I could
win the 'American idol’ thing- for real [one time they heard me singing in the
morning cleanup- the guy asked if I had the radio on- I told him I was singing-
he did not believe me!]
So- I hit a few tunes with
Cameron at the halfway house- yeah- the other boys were a captive audience!
So- I showed up yesterday- ready
to sing a few more.
I found out Cameron tested
positive on his last drug test- he s on 10 years probation- and he went back to
jail.
I really felt bad the whole day-
I saw him like a son.
So much talent- such a good kid
[his pic is on my face book sight]
He will probably do 90 days and
come up for another chance to make parole/probation.
Maybe they will send him to a
rehab type thing.
To me it’s a big thing to do 90
days in jail.
To these guys- they get used to
it- but that’s what’s so bad about it- it becomes a lifestyle- and it should not
be that way.
Okay Cameron- if your reading
this when you get out- I’ll probably be gone by then.
I love you like a son kid- you have
so much going for you- don’t throw it all away!
1997
3-7-13
I’M SAILING AWAY- SET AN OPEN
COURSE … [Styx]
Yesterday I got my 60 day coin
from AA.
It was really day # 63-64 [?]- But
I hadn’t gone to many meetings- and I it was the first chance to get it.
Let me make a note here- I do not
see myself as ‘the exception’.
I never had a sponsor- I never
knowingly did the steps [I have often said- if you naturally practice the steps-
on your own- then maybe all a person needed was the meetings- or another aspect
of the group environment. In my case- I weekly prayed prayers that were ‘daily
inventory’- I did outreach- I already- as a believer- was doing many of the
good things that AA encourages- so in my case the reason I was- am able to be
sober- although some say I’m in rebellion because of no sponsor-etc.- is
because I simply needed the missing part- which to me was leaving the friends I
was reaching out to for many years- but they never sought real change- real
sobriety. So- I think God simply used AA
to help me make a break from that community.
Though I never once drank with the street guys- or partied- yet- because
they were really not seeking change- it affected me].
So- I took from AA what was
lacking- and I left the rest. I do not demean
them in any way- will continue to go to meetings- get my 90 day coin- but I do
not take the same approach as some of my friends.
Some are very legalistic- they
even see me as one of the only/few exceptions to the rule- in the whole world!
Yikes- I tell them ‘look- there are
many hundreds of thousands of cases like me- open your eyes man!’
Okay- enough of that.
So- as my buddies see that I’m
serious abut leaving Texas- I see some of them either don’t want me to go- or
want to take the trip with me.
I told the guys I am not going to
take any one with me [they think I’m gonna set up another ministry in NY- they
want in on it].
I have told them I will continue
to reach out to the homeless and down and out- but will not be setting up any
type of ‘new ministry’.
Those days are over for me.
A verse I like a lot talks about
John the Baptist.
In the gospel of John we read
about many disciples leaving John and following Jesus [chapter 3].
So some of John’s followers were
getting worried ‘hey John- we are losing our following- they are going to
Jesus’.
John says that’s what’s supposed
to happen ‘He must increase and I must decrease’.
In many ways I see myself ‘going
away’.
Not that I won’t continue to journal
for all my on-line friends- no- I will keep doing that.
But I have pulled out of
everything else.
I like John’s words a lot- I
think we should all give them a try.
3 DOORS DOWN- ITS NOT MY TIME
1998
3-10-13
IF ANY MAN COMES ATER ME LET HIM
TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY
Yesterday I had a couple of the
boys come over and do some roof repairs.
Yeah- as I Detach from Texas- I
have been selling/giving away stuff.
My baby- the 1966 Mustang- GT- 4
barrel Holly carb- 289 [motor] - yeah- have it in the shop for a few repairs.
Now- get this- I’m selling it
for- wait- $3,950.oo.
I have seen this car list for up
around 18,000!
So yes- I’m doing the ‘sell what
you have- give to the poor [I’m poor!]- and follow me’.
Okay- I had another one of those
Bus encounters.
This time I had a nice talk with
the driver.
I told him after being in Texas
for 33 years I’m moving back to the NY area.
I told him I’m letting my wife
have the house- either she can sell it or rent it.
He said he thought that was a
noble thing [yeah- I’ll take any encouragement I can get!].
I would like to get some of my retirement
cash I used to pay it off in 2008.
I owed about 30,000 when I
retried- and took a Lump Sum from my retirement to pay it off.
That lowers your monthly check-
but at the time it was the best way to do it.
So- the house is worth about
125,000- maybe I’ll take around 10-15,000 if my wife sells it.
At this point I don’t really care
to be honest- I want her and my 2 youngest girls to have some money.
My younger girls are 22-23- they
still live home on and off- you know- one of those types of things.
My wife always wanted to get her
real estate license- so if she rents [or sells] she can have some money for
that.
We have not fought- not once-
during this whole thing.
She knows I mean well- geez- she
has seen me up praying at 2-3 in the morning for years.
Working with my friends- and then
not hiding stuff when people say things about you- maybe being too willing to
not hide!
So- she sees that and has been
really nice to me thru this whole thing.
I have been reading Luke’s gospel
and a funny thing happened.
These past few weeks as I let go
of stuff [just sold the kayak for 100- gave my fishing poles away too].
I have been thinking how I never
went back north because the real estate is so high [and the rents! - geez- any
of my old friends have a cheap room?]
But I thought I really don’t need
a bunch of stuff- wherever I go I can just stay with friends- family- or maybe
at some missions.
Then I read the teaching of
Christ [again].
He says ‘when I send you out-
don’t take extra stuff- money- etc- but
whatever city you go to- stay with whoever gives you a spot. Eat what they
serve you.’
It’s in the same chapter where Jesus
says take up your Cross and follow him.
‘Whoever seeks to save his life
shall lose it- he who gives it up shall find it’.
Now- we all know these verses-
but we have justified ourselves in a way.
We think ‘yeah- Jesus just meant
don’t love your stuff’.
Actually- if you read it for what
it’s worth- it goes a little further than that.
Anyway- I found it interesting to
see these very plain instructions- stuff I began doing this month- and how
clear it was.
So- the roof got fixed- the
Kayaks gone- and the mustang is on the way out [Van sold last week].
To be honest- it feels good in a
way.
Even ‘giving’ the house to my
wife- I want to do this.
I have a retirement- she does
not.
I told her to see it as her inheritance-
to do with it what she wants.
It took a few weeks for her to
start looking forward to it- she is now a little excited about the whole thing
to be honest.
I do very much pray for her and
all my kids- and me going way like this is not easy at all.
I am having a very hard time just
committing this whole thing to God.
It’s hard to go.
1999
3-13-2013
HOW LONG TO THE POINT OF NO
RETURN?
Being I’m in the middle of
getting rid of lots of stuff- and doing some final repairs on cars and the
house- I haven’t really had time to comment on many big news events.
This week there have been some
important things that I feel I should mention.
Bradley Manning has been in court
for the leaking of thousands of ‘secret’ memos to Wikileaks.
Most of you should be familiar with
the case.
He has been held in solitary
confinement for a few years and the govt. has charged him thru the espionage
act.
Now- even though most of the
stuff leaked really amounted to embarrassing details- how the U.S. govt. has
done behind the scenes talks with other nations- kind of deceived folk- or the
biggest leak was the video now famously referred to as Collateral Damage.
This video showed a terrible incident
where our guys fired [helicopter] on a bunch of civilian reporters- by
accident- thinking they were the enemy- but were later found out to be
reporters.
It looked bad- really bad.
So- the question is should we
view the leaking of this stuff as espionage [spy type charges] or more like a
whistle blower.
That’s the debate- I personally
think what he leaked does not rise to the level of life in prison- which is
what the govt. is seeking.
Now- we also had the nomination
of John Brennan to head the CIA.
During the hearings- he [and
Holder- US attorney] were asked questions about killing US citizens- without
due process.
As most of you know we killed a
US citizen a few years back with a drone [in Yemen].
He was indeed a full blown Al-Qaida
leader- and had influence with others.
Now- what most don’t know is a
few weeks later we also killed his US born son- 16 years old.
His son was born in Detroit-
living in Yemen.
By all accounts- his son was not
an Al-Qaida operative- he of course was probably influenced by his dad’s
radical views.
But he was a minor- a US citizen-
and he was traveling to see his dad.
We killed him with a drone strike
while he was sitting at an outdoor restaurant.
When the US govt. was asked why
we killed him- one of the responses was he should have picked a better father.
Now- whatever side of the aisle
you fall on- this stuff has to stop.
All this is going on at the same
time we just read the Miranda rights to the son in law of Osama Bin Laden- and
are putting him on civilian trial in NYC.
So- we executed a 16 year old US
citizen- because his dad was a bad guy- yet we read the rights to a non
citizen- who may have some type of involvement with the 9-11 attacks.
[Note- the US govt. has said the
killing of the boy was a mistake- but we still killed him]
This is bad- very bad.
As the US seeks to imprison
Manning- for life.
And is also attempting to get
Julian Assange- the founder of WikiLeaks.
We need to ask ourselves what
role the on-line media outlets play.
For instance- the NY times
printed some of the same material that Manning leaked- yet the print media are
considered ‘media’ and the printing of ‘secret’ stuff is considered noble- like
Florida’s sunshine laws.
Yet if an on-line publisher posts
the same stuff- he can be tried for espionage.
During one debate when this
question came up- the pundit simply said if it’s in print- then it’s legal.
But if it’s on line- its not.
Is that really the criteria we want
to use to decide that what one organization published is noble- but for the other
it merits the possible death penalty [which is the level of crime Manning is
charged with]?
Yes- these questions are
important to answer- they should not be seen as ‘left or right’ questions [the
Repub senator Rand Paul did a stand up job- literally- by doing an old
fashioned filibuster on the drone issue the other day].
So yeah- if a nominee for the
CIA- or the US attorney general can not say that a US president has no right to
kill a citizen- in our country- without due process- then he should not be up
for that position.
We as a country have gone thru
many struggles since the tragic 9-11 attack.
And we [first under Bush] did
give up too many rights as we overreacted- by loosening our rules on the
privacy of US citizens.
But if we cant clearly say that
no US president- whether Repub or Dem- has the right to kill a US citizen without
due process- then we are all falling off the deep end-
As Kansas put it TO THE POINT OF
NO RETURN.
Okay- one more time.
I just psoted an entire
description for the last pic- and facebook deleted the entire psot.
I’m getting ready to leave
facebook- for good.
The last pic is David- my
co-founder for the halfway house we started abiout 5 mtonh ago.
David- like most of the guys at
`AA- is addicted to prescription drugs.
One day I asked him what he was
taking- it was Morphine.
I told him ‘why the hell are you
taking morphine’.
In the EMS field you only get
that if your terminal- because its so addictive.
He has PTSD because of open heart
surgery-a dn has delayed his back surgery- so they prescribed himj the
morphine.
Yesterday he was having
withdrawls- bad.
David was in his guilt thing
again ‘’I;m a fucking killer- I killed my best friend’.
David shot and killed his best
friend years ago in Dallas.
His brother Andy told me when
they came to get the body- he had shotgun shells under his feet.
David never stopped shooting-
even after his friend was down.
So- he’s yelling thius stuff at
his house yesterday- Andy- his brother- is afraid to be around him.
I took david back to the house
and he’s doing better.
I told him the oyther day- when
he was doing his guilt trip
‘DAVID- GOD FORGIVES YOU!!’ he just cant seem to forgive himself.
6TH AVENUE HEARTACHE
2001
3-16-13
PAPA FRANCIS
Okay- we have a new Pope as of
this post.
Yeah- it’s hard to write a
journal and not post it- who knows- maybe none of this will ever be seen?
J.D. Salinger became sought after
because of that very reason [he published a couple of hits- Catcher in the Rye-
and then went into hiding].
So- let’s see what happens.
Now- I think Francis might become
my favorite in recent history.
Why?
Francis [the name he took- from
Francis of Assisi- also speaks about his character. St. Francis forsook family
wealth to work in Gods field- he believed God called him to help restore the church
to her original design].
So- Pope Francis lived the same
type of calling.
He’s the first Pope from America
[albeit Latin America].
He’s the first from the Jesuit
order to hold the office- the Jesuits are my favorite Catholic order.
If you remember my church history
section- I covered the Jesuits- and complimented them a lot.
The Jesuits are the intellectuals
of the church- now- the Catholic Church as a whole is of course very intellectual.
But the Jesuits were very
influential in the development of the scientific method.
As a percentage- there were more
Jesuit leaders in science than any other group.
They also were missionary minded.
When I covered them in the past I
showed how after the 16th century Protestant Reformation the Jesuits
did a sort of Counter Reformation and evangelized Asia- an area where the
Protestants fell short.
So- as you can see- I’m a fan of
the Jesuits.
Francis- from Buenos Aires
Argentina- lived among the poor- he cooked his own meals and rejected the perks
that Cardinals/Arch Bishops get.
Yet- he was a ‘conservative’ in
doctrine.
Huh?
How could he be a sort of
Liberation theologian- and yet hold to conservative views?
Here’s where our modern news
shows mess stuff up.
As an avid news watcher- the last
few years one of the critiques I gave was the mistake of men like Glenn beck
and others- who associated Liberation Theology with heresy.
Now- Beck and others meant well-
they just made the mistake of demonizing people they don’t understand [remember
the rampage against Van Jones?]
But that’s why we need to get our
info from better informed folk.
Anyway- Liberation Theology is a
form of Christian teaching that associates the ministry of Jesus to the poor-
and seeks to impellent that- sometimes too far- with government programs.
So- in Latin America- you have
had Catholic champions of the poor and down trodden- who advocated for the
poor- and at the same time believed in the historic positions of the doctrines
of the church.
For instance- some ‘liberal’
scholars reject the resurrection of Jesus- and other key teachings of the
church.
These men [both Catholic and Protestant]
are referred to as Liberal scholars.
Francis is not one of them- he’s
‘conservative’ when it comes to the historic faith.
Yet- in his actions [Orthopraxy]
he is ‘liberal’ [that is if you think identifying with the poor is liberal].
So- Francis is a lot like me in
my belief [I too am conservative in doctrine] and practice- I have lived with
the poor and down and out for years.
So- he just might be my favorite.
Let’s wait and see.
Note- Do me a favor, those who
read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read
them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [Facebook] -
I have posted lots.
CLOSING TIME
2002
3-18-13
LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD
As I continue my transition from
a Texan back to a Yankee- I have been reading the gospel of Luke.
Its funny- but the very things I
have been struggling with- like leaving your family- are the things I come
across next in the reading.
Jesus gives a parable- some man
has this big wedding dinner- and he sends out his servant to get guests.
And he says ‘come on- hurry- all
things are ready’.
There is a sense of urgency about
the thing.
And the guests make one excuse
after another.
‘I can’t come- I just bought some
land’
‘I have married a wife and that takes
precedence’
Jesus then says the master gets
mad when he hears how ungrateful the guests are.
He then sends the servant out and
he gathers the low life’s of society- these accept the invitation [the kingdom
goes to the poor].
Jesus then goes on and says if
you want to follow him- you have to be willing to give up everything- even your
comfort zone- and he does say even your wife and kids- and then follow him.
Now- I want to be real careful
here.
My teaching- the stuff I teach
about Christianity and the bible- I try real hard to base it not just on some
private interpretation of scripture [a mistake among many Protestants].
But I try to ground my teaching
both in scripture and tradition [yeah- sounds Catholic doesn’t it?]
So- I’m very aware of the various
Christian groups who practice a strong ‘anti- family’ mindset.
Some seperate from loved ones
because they leave the group- I don’t hold to that kind of stuff at all.
Okay- now- why mention this verse
then?
Because I stumbled across it as I
was struggling with going north- without my family- leaving them behind.
And then I felt the Lord was
showing me how this very thing is one of the hindrances to the kingdom.
What thing- your wife and kids?
Not really- not in a way you
might think.
But the thing about entrusting
your family to God.
In the excuses that the guests
made- they are all centered around self survival.
One wants to take care of his
land [he actually says he has to go SEE IT- man- didn’t you look at it
already?]
It’s the whole mindset of finding
comfort and security in things- or in our so called ability to control stuff.
In today’s Christian environment-
where you can walk into a Wal Mart and in the best seller section you have
Christian books on how God wants you to have everything now- we have developed
a mindset that hardly ever gives any serious thought to surrendering our lives over
to God.
The excuse’s the guests gave are centered
around self survival- worried about having to ‘have enough’ for the future.
Sure the bible speaks about a
‘good man leaves an inheritance to his kids’ but the Kingdom ideal of Jesus
seems to blow that out of the water.
I want to make sure you guys
don’t mis-read this.
I’m not saying we should all
leave our wives and kids because of this verse.
But Jesus is saying nothing
should take precedence over our mandate to follow him- to take up our Cross
daily.
And it’s often these very things-
the things we try to control- or try to handle ourselves- it’s these issues
that often hold us back.
One excuse was ‘I need to go home
and bury my father’.
Jesus says ‘let the dead bury the
dead- just come and follow me’.
BIG OLD JET AIRLINER- STEVE MILLER BAND
3-20-13
2003
TIME FOR A COOL CHANGE
Today I’m feeling a little
depressed.
Not so much for the obvious
reasons- but just because of the way some things are turning out with my
buddies and the halfway house.
Those of you who have read this
far- you know the story.
It’s been about 5-6 months ago
that I got back from my N.J. visit and my friend John David texted me ‘hey
John- you still want to start a halfway house’.
I was driving with my other homeless
friend- Henry- and I took the next on ramp to the highway and that’s the way it
started.
We have had a bunch of guys come
thru since then- and we did accomplish some good stuff- for real!
But I always had this strange
premonition that it was not going to be a long term thing.
One day early on David said ‘who
knows- maybe NeWay was just supposed to save John’.
Now- that was the 2nd month
in- and he was talking about John Boy- one of our first guys- who is dying of
liver cancer.
But when David said it- I thought
to myself ‘yeah- it was just to save me’.
I have been clean now for around
80 days- sad to say- I’m the only sober one in the whole thing as of now.
Yeah- I had a feeling even David-
who had such a great story- who is well known in the entire AA circuit- I had a
feeling he- as well as his brother- all went off the wagon- so to speak.
Now- I also realized that these
guys lie- a lot!
Sure- we all do at times- but I
saw no reason to lie about being clean.
I mean I have about 80 days- if I
slipped up- I would say it.
I saw David yesterday for the
first time in about 4 days.
He was terrible- he did not
confess anything- but as I sat in his room- I saw the stuff right there.
It was kinda hidden- but not too
good.
John David is a special man- he
has [had] destiny written all over him.
I’ve been around long enough
where I can see it.
One time he tells me about living
in some town in North Texas.
The description of the house and
land was great- right off of some state preserve- he had deer and wild life in
his back yard.
The famous child actor- Spanky-
form the little rascals lived there too.
He told me how Spanky owed him a
beer [he kept brining it up- like he was pissed off that he never paid him
back!]
Spanky was an all out drunk- he
was bitter about what happened to Buck Wheat and the other cast members.
David told me how Spanky would
set up at some out door flea market and sell signed pictures of him and the
gang.
David had a few other stories
about running into fame and fortune- and of course losing it all when he became
an addict.
So- It’s sad to see my friend
like this- and to realize he was trying so hard for me to not know- he really
was so concerned about me relapsing.
I mean if I did not see him in 2
days he would be texting me all worried about me going back out.
Now he does not even answer my
texts.
I saw the writing on the wall.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you
guys all this- I’m trying to write this thing like a journal- and then when you
read it you can see the progression of it all.
I still have to deal with some
serious stuff- stuff that does very much effect a persons mind.
These types of things do make a
person feel suicidal- that’s the truth.
I think it just comes with the
territory [my court troubles].
I’m not looking for pity- I really
could care less about trying to justify my self to any body- we will all be dead
quite soon.
But I want very much to finish
well- to accomplish what’s left on my Bucket List- and then wrap it up.
So- I texted David yesterday.
He must know that I know.
I spoke to him like a brother.
‘David- I’m so happy about NeWay
and what we have accomplished these last 5 months.
But I want you to get help- your
sick David- I want you well’.
I went on and spoke to him like a
friend who is worried.
I was surprised- about 5 hours
later he texted back
‘John- I’m doing better now- I
found some Zanax’.
He’s still trying to make it
sound like he was just having a bad day- it’s so sad to see my friend- my
brother- in such denial.
He spoke about it so much when I
first started working with him this last year.
I dot know how everything will
turn out- but I’m so tired of the whole thing.
I have been listening to some old
tunes from you tube in the morning.
I like the Little River Bands
‘Time for a cool change’.
It’s been a kind of escape for
me.
Try to listen to it today- see if
you like it?
LONG DECEMBER
3-21-13
HAPPINESS IS THE ROAD
2004
Changed the spark plugs and wires
in the Mustang yesterday- it took a couple of weeks of messing around with it
before I got it running good again.
I will aggressively list it soon-
for sale.
I had a couple of my buddies show
up.
Andy came by for a few hours- and
Michael- my ‘artist’ stopped by.
My artist?
Yeah- Michael has been a street
guy for many years.
I must have known him now for
around 20 years.
And he has worked odd jobs- dishwasher-
cook- etc.
But many people had no idea that
he was a talented artist.
Mike has showed me his work over
the years- and its great stuff.
So about 8 months ago he made a
nice painting of the actual streets and buildings right where we have the
halfway house [he did not even know we had the halfway house].
When I saw it I told him I wanted
to buy it- I bought it for 40 bucks.
It is an original oil painting
and very nice.
I had him add the name of my
ministry [Corpus outreach] and the name of the halfway house- NeWay.
He kinda painted it like they
were street signs on some buildings- but it looked real good.
Today I will give the painting to
John David- he knows I’m gonna give it to him.
I was waiting till my last day or
2- but felt now was the time.
So- when Mike came by the house I
gave him 2 huge Beatles posters I had hanging in the garage.
They are nice- collectors things.
He wanted to pay me- I told him
no way- It’s my gift to him.
But- as we sat in the yard [if I
remember- whenever I post this long journal- I’ll try to post the pics at the
same time].
He saw some of my silly paintings
that I have done over the years.
As some of you know- I paint on
my house- fence- etc.
And not just regular house
painting- no- verses and stuff.
So- I had a couple of actual boards
that I painted on- like bill boards.
And Mike kept staring at one- I told
him if he wanted it he could have it.
I just have various verses and
stuff on it- but he thought it had potential.
He told me he wants to add some
finishing touches to it- and frame it- and post it on his face book site [where
he displays his art].
And when I’m gone it he will have
my name and his as the artist.
That’s so Cool!!
A real artist thinks my stuff is
good!
Yeah- that’s great.
As I pack up- give stuff away-
sell stuff- I regret having to leave my library of books behind.
I’ll take a few- but not all.
So- I re-read a couple of
favorites.
I read one on Hoboes- I got it
years ago and it talked about the depression era guys who rode the rails- I
liked it.
I’m also re-reading the Dylan
book- yeah Bob Dylan’s biography- it came out about 8 years ago.
It’s called Chronicles.
I really liked it because Dylan
talks about his experience of moving to the Big Apple and starting over.
He gives a quote from his
grandma- I’ll shorten it some;
‘Happiness isn’t on the road to
anything- happiness is the road. Be kind to everyone- because every one you
meet is fighting some sort of battle.’
Wow- such great insights- from Dylan’s
Granma!
2005
3-22-13
SPIRIT GUIDES?
Had another good day of giving my
stuff away.
I have been decorating the city
for Pete’s sake!
Huh?
Yeah- each day I put some of my
valuables in the car- and I leave some at the halfway house [yesterday my
favorite statue of st. Francis- a bird bath I had in my yard- went to the front
stoop of the halfway house].
Some I give to the guys- John David
got about 300 dollars worth yesterday [my favorite oil painting- that depicts
both of our ministries- and a classic Clarinet- a few other things].
And yeah- when I head to that
side of town I drive down some old industrial streets- Agnes- Laredo.
And for years whenever I drove
these streets they reminded me of home- N.J.
So- I thought ‘what the heck- let
me just place a few of these things in some spots- and see if they last’.
Sure enough- they are still
there!
Stuff like a wooden cross I used
to set out years ago when we would do some type of park outreach.
That’s now right off of Agnes-
kinda by one of those old re-sale shops- in the front.
So you could mistake it for some type
of business decoration- heck- I don’t care- I just like seeing it when I drive
by.
Okay- these last few months I
have also had- believe it or not- a ministry to some girls who are addicts-
re-covering addicts.
How?
Look- because of my past
temptations- I avoid doing ‘outreach’ to any of the girls on the streets.
But- my friend David has had a
couple of different girl friends these past few months and when I go to the
halfway house- on the way out I usually stop by his place.
He lives a few blocks from the
halfway house- I live on the other side of town.
Problem?
He sleeps till about 10 am.
I’m up at 3 am- so our time
tables don’t match too well.
Anyway- if I’m at the halfway
house at 7- and I’m heading out by 8- he’s sleeping.
I might go by- drop off one of my
free gifts- and head out.
But- if one of his new
girlfriends is up- sitting out in the yard- I’ll hang out for a while and talk.
So over the weeks I have become
good friends with Jackie- a drug addict who has had her ups and downs.
Jackie has liked it when I talk
with her and she has questions and stuff about God- I have simply taught her
stuff and prayed for her a bunch of times- we are good friends.
And at times she has been doing
so well- helping us- a lot- with the ministry.
But every so often David would
say ‘she went back out- she stole all my stuff- I’m thru with her’.
And yeah- that’s what would
happen.
Then a week later I would show
up- and there back together- like nothing happened!
So the last break up was about 2
weeks ago and David already has a new girl- Laura.
Yeah- I have already spent at least
8 hours talking to Laura- in 2 or 3 visits!
She’s really into new Age stuff-
crystals- the whole thing.
Now- she’s real smart- physics-
metaphysics- lots of stuff.
And I know all types of stuff
like that- so I try to give her the Christian view of all the things she’s
involved with.
Yesterday I laid hands on her- prayed
for her- that the ‘gates’ she has opened- that are not good [she has all types
of spirit guides- yikes!] would close- and the ‘good gates’ [Holy Spirit] would
be open.
She does appreciate my teaching-
and she likes all the history that I mix in [I did the whole overview of Greek
thought- before Christ. And I taught her the development of Gnosticism- and how
it arose. This is the history of her belief system- which I dont think she was aware
of].
So you could see- I was made to
order for her- so to speak.
The funny thing is David- he gets
anxiety if I go ‘too deep’ in my talks with him.
I mean I might be talking about
theology- not wacky stuff- and it gets him nervous.
So as I began talking to Laura-
well- lets say she can get ‘deeper’ than me- and go on much longer than me
about all sorts of Portals and stuff.
I asked her ‘does David get into
these discussions like me’?
She kinda hinted- no [I figured
this out already to be honest].
So it was kinda funny- you know-
he rejected my long winded theology- and now he has to deal with all these
spirit guides!
As I was sitting there- talking
to Laura- Jackie walked by in the alley- hoping no one would see her.
This area is a drug infested
spot- and she was probably looking for stuff.
I saw her out of the corner of my
eye and stopped her- just to see how she was.
As I talked with her- I almost
started to cry.
I have never seen her this bad-
she is so strung out- scared- telling me how David hates her.
Just a few weeks ago she was
doing so well- going to the prayer meetings at 6 am- so happy.
Now she looked like a scared kid-
shaking- dirty- in fear.
I gave her a hug- I prayed for
her- I looked into her eyes- so dark.
‘Jackie- I want you to get
better- I feel so bad for you’.
She was off- I went back to the
table- an outside area where we sit at times- and finished talking with Laura.
In a strange way- God allowed me
to have some friends- some girl ‘friends’- girls that I would not normally work
with.
Not because I’m too good- no-
because I know I cant be getting attached emotionally to the girls like I do
with the brothers.
So- I have always avoided having
one on one outreach with them.
But this little scenario of David
sleeping late- me getting up early- yeah- as silly as it is- has been an open
door to try and help these girls.
I’m glad it happened.
2006
3-24-13
IF I HAD THE WINGS OF AN EAGLE I
WOULD FLY AWAY AND BE AT REST
Today we begin Holy Week.
I write this day on Palm Sunday.
I have been reading the Dylan
book I mentioned the other day.
I forgot how much I liked the thing.
It was published in 2004- and I
see all the notes I made in it at the time- when I read it while working at the
fire house.
For those who have never read it-
or are not a big Dylan fan [to be honest- I really don’t like his music that
much either].
Yet the book is great- it
received critical acclaim at the time- that’s why I picked it up.
I’m at the part in the book where
Dylan talks about this feeling of being under siege- all the time.
He speaks about not wanting this
delusional mantle of being the so called ‘voice of this generation’.
It’s a real eye opener- he comes
across as a normal guy- who really did not care about all the stuff people were
‘reading’ into his songs.
Sort of like people developed
their own image of him- one that was fake- and no matter how hard he tried he could
not shake the thing.
He talks about going to the
Wailing Wall [Jerusalem] and putting on a skull cap- just so the media would
give him some bad press.
Other stuff like that.
He talks about moving from one
place to another- in a desperate search to escape the crowd- and he fears for
his family as well.
I mean the guy is living under siege-
he can’t get out!
One time he gets an invite to
Princeton [the university right where I’m moving to- as soon as I can get out
of Texas].
They offer him an honorary
degree- he decided to go and take it- so the media and his crazed fans would
maybe view him as sort of a sell out.
As he stands to get the thing [he
was round 30 years old at the time].
The guy who introduces him goes into
the very thing Dylan’s trying to escape.
He says ‘and here is the voice of
our time…’
Dylan says on the inside he was
fuming- but he simply went with it.
For Dylan fans- this book is a
big eye opener.
The man talks about simply
wanting his normal family life back- he can’t change the attention he now gets.
He goes to all the lengths he can
think of- there s simply no way out.
I’ll give you a quote form page 61;
‘Sometimes you know things have to
change- are going to change- but you can only feel it…. Little things
foreshadow what’s coming..But then something immediate happens and you’re in
another world. You jump into the
unknown- your set free…it seems like when it happens- it happens fast- like
magic. But it’s really not- it’s more
deliberate- like your working in the light of day and you see one day it’s
getting dark too early- then it doesn’t matter where you are- it wont do any
good.’
As you read his experiences- you
see a sort of intellectual.
At one point he says he can’t really
be a creative song writer any more.
That in order to be creative- you
need the freedom to be able to observe things- you need a degree of anonymity.
But when you are constantly being
observed- watched- followed- there seems to be no way out- you can’t do the
very thing you were created for.
As you read- you begin to feel
bad for the guy- and you see this person- desperate to go back to some type of normal
life- and he cant seem to find any way out.
Sad- so sad.
2007
FATHER FORGIVE THEM- THEY DON’T
KNOW WHAT THEY DO
Today is 3-26-13- we are in the middle
of Holy Week.
The reading from the Mass this
week was from Luke 23.
It suprised me how much manipulation
of the system took place around the Crucifixion of Jesus.
I mean I read it before- many
times- but because of my present circumstances I see more [I do not equate myself
at all with the real wrong that occurred at Christ’s trial- it’s just because
of my situation I see more right now].
As the people accuse Christ- he
just realizes there’s really nothing he can do about it.
I have had people- people I never
met- just friends I made on Face Book over the years.
I would log on and get cursed out
in a message- bad.
Then of course they block you- so
they leave the accusation- from what they read on-line- and go.
Or people seeing you on the street-
actually following you- or yelling at you.
I mean I do live among the ‘least
of these’ and have been in dangerous spots- lots.
But you realize you really can’t defend
yourself- not even to relatives who read the stuff on line and give you dirty looks
at family events.
I mean you don’t realize how bad
it gets- until you’re in the middle of the thing.
And if you start going down the
road of ‘no- wait- this is what happened’- forget it- it makes you feel worse.
So- in Christ’s trial and
crucifixion he just commits it all to God.
It’s like they want him to defend
himself ‘don’t you know I have the power to kill you’?
‘You have no power- only what God
gives’.
Yeah- Jesus knew the score.
The last week or so I have run into
a few friends/street people who have had problems with the mind.
Over the years I have had a small
percentage of homeless friends who have suffered from this.
Lots of the homeless do get
disability from what we call MHMR [mental health thing in Texas].
But a lot of it is a scam- they
go for a check-up- and get the check.
Some refer to it as ‘did you get your
nut check yet’.
Yeah- a scam for many- but not
all.
I had a funny feeling the other
day.
As I’m reading thru the Dylan
book- I can see what a genius he was.
But I can tell that he did not
realize- in every event- that he was losing it.
Losing what?
His skills [which he admits] but
also his hold on reality [which I don’t think he realizes- even now].
He talks bout touring with Tom
Petty- or another popular group- and how he realizes that the crowds are showing
up for them- not him.
I too remember seeing a performance
or 2- on TV- about this time.
Dylan did look- sound bad.
But he says he found little break throughs- certain techniques- that
made it work.
As you read what he thinks was a breakthrough-
and you can tell he knows his stuff- yet you realize that he’s saying at the
start of a song- he was lost- and in the middle he ‘found himself’.
Your thinking- geez- I’m sure the
crowd has no idea he really is this gone.
Then it hit me- am I nuts too?
Yes- I realize as you get sober-
I’m sober now for 3 months- and after 25 years of constant drinking- you do
indeed go thru withdrawals.
So- people have kinda hinted that
I’m a little nuts- but in a nice way.
And it rattles me some- I see
them looking at me- like I too have looked at some of my friends who are a
little on the edge [or your good buddy texts you ‘are you ok’?]
[Note- remember the movie
Charley? I was gonna watch it last night but couldn’t find it].
And that’s what I saw in the Dylan
book- he did not know he was losing it.
After one performance he says he
wanted to go on tour- solo- right away.
But his promoter wanted him to
take 2 years off.
Dylan explains how no- he was
ready- he had this ‘new technique’ that he stumbled on.
As you read- you see what a
genius he is- but you can read between the lines- and yeah- his promoter was
being nice.
Like he- and I’m sure the other groups
he was touring with- sort of behind the scenes realized that the guy was losing
it.
Yeah- it’s sad to begin
identifying with this- to see your friends/family kind of dropping hints.
As I read the Crucifixion- you know
at one time in the gospels it says his family thought he was losing his mind?
It’s in there- go look it up.
In the end- Jesus realized that it
was a bigger hand at work in all this.
He commits the whole thing to
God.
The people are really accusing
him- cursing at him- they stirred up the courts and law to get him.
I mean he’s fighting a losing
battle.
He says ‘father- forgive them-
they don’t know what they are doing’.
As I read this statement this
week- I saw a new angle on it.
It’s not like he was saying ‘they
just don’t realize it’.
He was saying ‘this whole thing
needed to happen- for the benefit of others- for me to do Gods will- the whole
thing had to happen- even the false accusations’.
Yeah- he saw the accusers- the
law- those who were manipulated to do this- he saw the whole thing as Gods
will.
Yeah- Gods will was indeed done.
Amen.
2008
[4-1-13]
Today I begin the 2nd quarterly journal of 2013.
When I did the first- I had no idea that this might be a new
format from now on.
As of today- I’m not dead set on it- but I think the
format is beneficial.
Okay- I went to Easter service yesterday- I visited a
Catholic church in the area that I never went to before [I attend both Catholic
and Protestant churches on and off- but I have been making the Mass pretty
regularly the last few weeks].
I also watched a few of the services from Rome- being its
Holy Week.
It would be too much to try and cover each chapter that was
referenced- but maybe I can hit a few high points.
About a month ago I read Zechariah chapter 12.
It’s what we call a Messianic prophecy- which speaks of
Christ.
A famous line ‘they shall look upon him whom they have
pierced’.
The apostle Paul alludes to this in his letter to the
Romans- chapters 11-12.
He speaks about the Jewish nation- and how at the return of
Christ they will mourn for Jesus- they will recognize that he was the Messiah
they were waiting for.
Now- as I also read the book of Luke this past month- I
focused in on the Passion chapters during Holy Week.
Out of the 4 gospels the church has- 3 are fairly similar-
but the gospel of John stands alone.
The majority of John’s gospel focuses in on the last week of
Christ’s earthly life- the others cover a broader time period.
In the crucifixion accounts we see Jesus realizing that
what’s happening is the fore ordained hand of God.
It’s sort of like he’s
‘in charge’ [well- he is!] but in a way that even confounds the
authorities.
Pilate says ‘don’t you know I have the power to take your
life’?
Jesus ‘you have no
power- except what God gave you’.
You see this ‘in between the lines’ sense of Jesus saying
‘do what you have to do- lets get this thing over with’.
He knew it had to happen.
In one of the Masses from Rome- the English interpreter used
a word I though was strange.
I’m not sure if she was using the right word- even though it
‘fit’.
The new Pope- Francis- was speaking Latin.
And the interpreter was saying ‘immolation’.
Talking about Christ’s passion.
Now- the word immolation means burning- if you remember my
political posts of a couple years back.
When I covered the Arab Spring- the first nation to rebel
was Tunisia.
In the streets of Tunis a merchant ‘self immolated’- burned
himself to death- as a sign of protest against oppressive govt.
This sparked the Arab Spring.
So- how cold this fit in with the Passion of Christ?
In the Old Testament we have a system of sacrifices- animals
being sacrificed- as a sign of the future sacrifice of Christ.
One of the notable ones is the Burnt Offering.
Jesus- according to the book of Hebrews- fulfilled the
sacrificial system by his death on the Cross.
During his earthly ministry he spoke about fire- baptism.
He says to the disciples one time ‘can you be baptized with
my baptism’?
They answer yes.
Jesus says they will indeed be baptized with it- but not in
the way they think.
He was talking about the ‘baptism of fire’.
The suffering they would have to face in the coming days.
He in essence was saying ‘you too must pass thru the fire-
like me’.
Jesus said at one time ‘I have come to set fire on the
earth- and how I wish it were already started’.
Huh?
Fire?
Self immolation- what’s your point.
Jesus was talking about himself- he was going to be the
‘brunt offering’ the ‘self immolation’ that would spark the ‘Kingdom spring’-
see?
In Zechariah 12 it speaks about those who fight- war against
Jerusalem- Gods people.
One of the images is those who set themselves against it
will get burned.
That the governors of Judah [the elders]- they are like
‘sheaf’s of fire’ In the midst of the wood- all who lay hold of it get burned.
Yes- Jesus was the ultimate sheaf- they lit he torch- so to
speak- at Calvary.
They did not realize what they were doing.
They started a fire that they could not put out.
2009- ALL THINGS?
Today is really my first day back- real time [I’m posting
this right after I write it].
I have been journaling for the past 3 months- but that’s a
little different.
Okay- out of all the news events- Boston marathon bombing-
Ricin letters [by the way- last I saw they seem to have arrested the wrong
guy].
Out of these events- a smaller one stands out in my mind.
The handling of the debt crisis in Cyprus.
A few weeks back Cyprus- one of the very small states that’s
involved with the E.U. debt crisis- did a surprising move and simply
confiscated the money of private citizens from the banks and used that to pay
off debt.
Now- they took what was over and above there form of FDIC
insurance for the depositors.
In essence- they looted the accounts of their customers.
Now- this simply shows us how bad the EU debt crisis is- and
that things have not actually improved- but gotten worse.
So- how has the global market reacted?
This is what’s funny [or sad?] it seems as if some are in
denial- while others are simply hedging their bets.
There is a huge amount of money in the system [what we look
at when the dow goes up- or down] that simply is looking at the numbers- sort
of like a bookie would look at the odds on a game.
Some of this money is simply there because- for various
reasons- they think more money might be coming into the system.
That is some investors are not investing because they think
the global market is sound- some invest because they think the situation is so
bad that it merits a bailout.
I read an article on Egypt- how Morsi [the president] believes
that the western nations will bail him out- give him loans that are above what
they should get- and he believes this because he thinks they are ‘too big to
fail’.
That is- he is expecting the loan not because they are
stable- Egypt used to have a good economy- but since the ‘revolution’ it has
been a real mess.
So- as a direct result of their Arab Spring- they need much
more cash than before.
And Morsi thinks they will get it- even though- economically
they probably don’t deserve it [not to mention some real ideological problems
with the new leadership- like very anti Semitic statements that the leader
holds to].
So- overall- we are in April of 2013- and the European debt
crisis is not over- but probably getting worse.
These last few months I have been reading more of the gospels-
and have cut down on the news a lot.
I still read the headlines- and catch a few news shows- but
not nearly as much as before.
I was what you would consider a news addict- for real.
So- I have focused more on the gospels and less on world
events [though they are still very much a part of what we are called to impact
as the church].
As I finished the gospel of Luke the other week- I noticed a
verse that I have read many times before.
But it hit me in a new way.
It says ‘all things that were written had to be fulfilled- in
the Law and the Psalms and the Prophets’.
It’s talking about all the Messianic portions of the Old
testament- the bible passages that speak about Christ.
Then of course he enters into the final stages of his
earthly life- and is Crucified.
Over the years- as a bible reader- I noticed how lots of us
tend to gravitate towards the ‘flashier’ parts of the bible.
I have many Psalms and Prophets that I quote from- there are
portions of Isaiah [what would be called ‘the prophets’] that I have memorized
for years.
I am reading thru the Psalms right now- they are great
stuff.
But when I read the above verse- which was said by Christ
himself- he said ‘ALL THINGS’ had to be fulfilled- not just the ‘flashy’
portions of scripture [Psalms- Prophets].
But the hard stuff too- Law.
Then at the crucifixion scene- he’s on this Cross- this
place of public humiliation- and the people watching are sort of in shock.
He has become what the scripture said ‘a stone that the
builders rejected’.
His friends have gone- his poor mom is seeing all this play
out- and the others are there- almost to see what else could go wrong with him.
Then- in the middle of it all- don’t forget his family
earlier thought he was ‘beside himself’ he looks up to God- and he makes a few statements.
He asks ‘why did you leave me’.
He says ‘father- forgive the ones who hate me- and want me
gone- they don’t know what they do’.
Then- as the Roman gaurd looks on- he says ‘into your hands
I commit my Spirit’.
And in Old King James language- he ‘gave up the ghost’- that
is- he died.
As I read this account recently- and the statement from
Christ about all things being fulfilled.
I saw what Jesus was saying ‘look- I have been with you for
3 years- doing ministry- teaching you stuff- how to forgive- don’t hold
grudges- carry your Cross every day’.
Then- HE DID IT- he showed them how to ‘die well’.
Yeah- all things had to be fulfilled- all things had to be
modeled.
He had to demonstrate- in real time- what he taught them.
Oh- now I get it- I really do.
2010
FREE AMONG THE DEAD
The other day I was taking one of my ‘midnight’ walks across
the bridge.
These past few months I started a new thing- I walk for
miles on end!
Yeah- it started as a spur of the moment thing- just put the
CD player on- listened to some favorite classic rock- and made the walk.
It has since become somewhat of an obsession.
For you locals- I have walked to Ayers and back- from the
bluff.
Walked to the city hall area of town.
And I walk across the Oso bridge early in the morning- while
it’s dark.
It feels great.
Sometimes I’ll run into another ‘wanderer’ and of course when
your on the bridge- mano e mano- sometimes the other walker gets a little
nervous.
I’m carrying my old Navy sea bag at times- and do indeed
pass for a real homeless guy!
Yesterday- or the day before- my path met with a real
illegal immigrant.
Real?
Yea- lots of the guys from Mexico- well they are what most
of us think when talking aliens.
But no- this brother was from South/Central America- you
could tell.
And they do from time to time come thru the area.
So- it was about 5 am- dark- on top of the bridge.
He looked a little suspicious to be honest.
Gave me the quick ‘heah’ look.
And you know me- I have to get in the mix.
So I stop him for a second- he looks a little worried- I
tell him ‘hey bro- you need a few bucks’.
Yeah- I saw it as a chance to help the guy.
He shook his head and couldn’t wait to go.
Oh well- your loss.
So yeah- it’s been fun- a little different.
One day when I was coming over the bridge I saw Guitar
Jason.
I’ve known him for years- anyone from the area- he’s the guy
who plays his guitar on the streets- he’s been at it for 25 years now.
He spots me ‘hey preacher John’- so I spent a little time
with him by the bay- where he has a camp.
He asked me to pray the Our Father with him- sure.
Then he must see I’ve lost a lot of weight- and he offers me
a few dollars.
I told him ‘no thanks Bro’.
All my buddies know the scoop- that there old friend has run
into some hard times- and to be honest- they feel bad for me.
It’s kinda funny to be honest.
Jason insisted- as I walked away he gave me 2 bucks [he’s homeless!]
and told me to get a beer.
I took the dough- but never bought the beer.
Then the next day or so- I run into Old Tim on the walk- He
needed 2 bucks- I gave him the money Jason gave me.
Yeah- I told him where it came from- he thought that was so
cool.
That’s life on the streets- to be honest- I’m very
comfortable with the street bro’s- they are like family.
I told Tim I’ve been walking the bridge- late at night- some
think it dangerous- geez- if some one wanted to ‘get me’- all you have to do is
swerve the car for heavens sake!
But Tim said ‘well John- no one will mess with you- your one
of us’.
Ahh- got the best compliment of the year.
Okay.
A few weeks back I read a verse that caught my eye- psalms
88.
It says ‘FREE AMONG THE DEAD’.
I was also reading Luke’s gospel.
And Jesus is talking about the resurrection form the dead.
He says ‘those who are accounted worthy of that world [age] neither
marry nor are given in marriage- but are as the angels’.
He also says ‘they die no more’.
Now- I don’t want to over spiritualize this passage.
But the word AGE can refer to this new age- this new covenant
era that we are in now.
So- if you apply it that way- Jesus is saying ‘those of you
who have died- you die no more’.
Who has died?
In baptism we die to our old life- we live a life now where
we carry the Cross.
Many of us have had ‘death experiences’ we no longer live
for the praise of men.
I also recently read where Jesus said ‘you seek the approval
of men- you can not please God’.
So- to sum it up- we- those who have died to the life of
creating an image- of trying to impress people- we die no more.
‘
Why- because we have now learned that if people want to
accept us- then we have become an open book- they have seen us- both the good
and the bad.
There is no more hiding- w have died once- we are now FREE
AMONG THE DEAD.
2011
THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH
Let’s cover the chapters for the week.
John 13-15.
Jesus sits with the 12 disciples and gives them an example-
he washes their feet and tells them that he- as their Lord- is a servant.
He shares the meal with them- he tells them it is his broken
Body- his death experiences- that are going to give life to them.
In chapter 14 he talks about coming to them- that first he
must leave them- and they are sad about it.
The bible says that ‘he knew that his time had come that he
should depart out of this world’.
THIS WORLD- he spent just enough time in his present
location- with the guys he was working with- and he knew this period of time
had come to an end.
And the bible says ‘sorrow filled their hearts’.
His men were upset- they were really his friends- remember
the accusation the religious leaders made against Jesus?
THE FRIEND OF SINNERS.
He talks about the Spirit of Truth.
I find this interesting- the way he will reveal himself
after he leaves them Bodily [in death] is by sending the Spirit of Truth [the
Holy Spirit].
In chapter 14 the disciples are confused;
‘How will you show yourself to us- and not to the world’?
He says if a man loves him- he will KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS- and
he and the Father [God] will come and manifest themselves unto those who do the
will of God.
But the world- those who do not keep the word of God- Jesus
will not manifest himself to them.
A key requirement of having God reveal himself to us- is we
must keep his commands.
A few weeks back I had an interesting experience.
Today is the first day of May- and I can tell all my
friends- I have been clean all year.
Clean?
I told someone the other day- not in a boasting way- but I
was ‘pissed off’ as they say [yeah- that’s the only sin I have committed in 5
months- I sill get mad.]
I told them ‘you know- I have been more ‘sin-less’ in the
past 5 months than in the last 25 years!’
And yet- it seemed like my prayers were still getting
about the same results [now- I’m a person who for whatever reason- prays for
hours on end. As God is my witness- I got up today at 3 am-
of
tn � p s `� ���
Yeah- it’s hard to write a
journal and not post it- who knows- maybe none of this will ever be seen?
J.D. Salinger became sought after
because of that very reason [he published a couple of hits- Catcher in the Rye-
and then went into hiding].
So- let’s see what happens.
Now- I think Francis might become
my favorite in recent history.
Why?
Francis [the name he took- from
Francis of Assisi- also speaks about his character. St. Francis forsook family
wealth to work in Gods field- he believed God called him to help restore the church
to her original design].
So- Pope Francis lived the same
type of calling.
He’s the first Pope from America
[albeit Latin America].
He’s the first from the Jesuit
order to hold the office- the Jesuits are my favorite Catholic order.
If you remember my church history
section- I covered the Jesuits- and complimented them a lot.
The Jesuits are the intellectuals
of the church- now- the Catholic Church as a whole is of course very intellectual.
But the Jesuits were very
influential in the development of the scientific method.
As a percentage- there were more
Jesuit leaders in science than any other group.
They also were missionary minded.
When I covered them in the past I
showed how after the 16th century Protestant Reformation the Jesuits
did a sort of Counter Reformation and evangelized Asia- an area where the
Protestants fell short.
So- as you can see- I’m a fan of
the Jesuits.
Francis- from Buenos Aires
Argentina- lived among the poor- he cooked his own meals and rejected the perks
that Cardinals/Arch Bishops get.
Yet- he was a ‘conservative’ in
doctrine.
Huh?
How could he be a sort of
Liberation theologian- and yet hold to conservative views?
Here’s where our modern news
shows mess stuff up.
As an avid news watcher- the last
few years one of the critiques I gave was the mistake of men like Glenn beck
and others- who associated Liberation Theology with heresy.
Now- Beck and others meant well-
they just made the mistake of demonizing people they don’t understand [remember
the rampage against Van Jones?]
But that’s why we need to get our
info from better informed folk.
Anyway- Liberation Theology is a
form of Christian teaching that associates the ministry of Jesus to the poor-
and seeks to impellent that- sometimes too far- with government programs.
So- in Latin America- you have
had Catholic champions of the poor and down trodden- who advocated for the
poor- and at the same time believed in the historic positions of the doctrines
of the church.
For instance- some ‘liberal’
scholars reject the resurrection of Jesus- and other key teachings of the
church.
These men [both Catholic and Protestant]
are referred to as Liberal scholars.
Francis is not one of them- he’s
‘conservative’ when it comes to the historic faith.
Yet- in his actions [Orthopraxy]
he is ‘liberal’ [that is if you think identifying with the poor is liberal].
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