Thursday, October 30, 2014

2080- This week I want to teach a little from Luke chapter 9- but let me start [end?] with one last note from my month in the NYC area.

On this trip there were many prophetic events- meaning lots of supernatural stuff.

Over the years I have had lots of these things operate in my ministry- but when you read the blog it’s hard to include many of these things- because frankly- people think your nuts.

Ok- Daniel- my atheist friend, I probably spent more time with him than anyone else.

Many of the people I met while sitting at Burger King were people Danny would introduce me to as they walked in.

So- in a sense- Danny saw me ‘in operation’ alot- to be honest I think he liked seeing this stuff.

At the end of my trip- while doing an off the cuff teaching- quoting and stuff.

Danny stopped me and said ‘John- I notice when you quote the bible like this- it’s like you go into a TRANCE’.  He said it’s like you’re actually ‘bringing’ up the pages as you speak.

Now- to some of my Christian friends the word trance sounds a bit like an occult thing.

Actually the bible talks about the apostle [Peter?] going into a trance- if I remember right you find the account in Acts 10- when Peter had the vision of the un-kosher animals coming down [meaning God was accepting the Gentiles].

The bible speaks of signs and visions- and a Trance is a higher form of a vision.

Now- I was actually not going into a Trance- as I just described- but Danny was simply seeing a person testifying about Christ- under the anointing.

Danny does have a background in the bible- I could tell as I did my off the cuff teaching- he would add parts of the story- and ask stuff.

Danny used to say ‘do you know the word hell is not even found in the bible’.

I would correct Danny about this- many times.

I even taught him the 3 words used for hell in the bible [1 from the Old testament- in Hebrew- and 2 in the New Testament].

I told Danny the most common one was used by Jesus himself- and it was actually a word that the people of his day used to refer to the city burn heap- a place outside of the city where stuff was burned [you know- the image of fire and all].

Danny said ‘hell is separation from God’ [Atheist?].

I told him that actually is the best definition- theologically- of hell.

Even though I told Danny- many times- that he was wrong about the word not being in the bible- yet it never ‘stuck’.

But one day- when teaching the subject- I quoted a verse from Revelation ‘death and hell were cast into the lake of fire’.

He then looked at me- and said ‘oh- hell is in the bible’.

I mean he was surprised.

The point is- when the word of God is spoken [quoted- read- etc.] it has power.

Danny saw me ‘in a trance’ many times during this trip- interacting with him and others- and it was the testimony- of Jesus- which the bible says is ‘the spirit of prophecy’ that affected him.


I’ve been back in Texas for about a week- and before I came back I felt God was telling me to take- at least- one week off before jumping back into the routine.

In January of this year- when I got back from another New Jersey trip- I started some home groups.

At first- I thought I’d give it a shot- not really sure how well they would do.

To my surprise- they went well.

I do about 5-6 a week- in various towns- once a month we go [or did?] to San Antonio- so- these were [are] fun.

I never told our groups- but I committed [to God] that I would do them- for 1 year.

I actually planned on going to New Jersey at the end of this year- and after some time away- then re-evaluate the meetings.

So- I’m a bit early- but I’m in that process now.

I also have heard some words/verses- that things will change-

Many of the people I worked with on the streets for years- said ‘we never knew you could do this stuff’.

Many never heard me teach- and I’m grateful for the compliments.

Why am I debating if I should keep doing them- besides the fact that I felt I had some words about it.

Most of the people in my meetings are people I have worked with- for many years- on the streets.

In the gospel of John we read an account where Jesus fed the people [noble thing- like Timons ministry- a feeding mission].

Jesus goes to another place- and the crowds find out where he is- and they follow.

Jesus says ‘are you seeking me because I fed you? Seek for the true bread’.

In the bible there are many teachings about helping the poor- the downcast.

But- we also read ‘if a man does not work- neither should he eat’.

Over the years I have had many people tell me I’m wasting my time with the homeless.

I always realized that there were some who were not sincere- but many are true friends- and I don’t devalue that.

But- many who come to the free food programs- they are simply getting a free meal- and the money they save is spent on drugs or alcohol.

In these cases- they are like the ones Jesus rebuked- they didn’t want change- just free food.

Ok- as of now I already decided that I will only go to the mission/streets- on the days I do meetings.

But- if after this time of re-thinking stuff- if I don’t do the meetings any more- then I think my years on the streets will be over.

This would not be easy at all for me- and I’m not sure yet if this is what I will do.

These past few days I have gone back and forth on this- reading- praying.

Some mornings I can’t wait to get back in the routine- others I see a change of lots of things- and am excited about both options.

As I type- I’m sitting at the local coffee shop.

Yesterday one of the kids I met before I took my trip wanted to talk.

I’ve spoken to him a few times [I actually have another one who bums cigarettes off me! Yesterday I told him ‘last one’- yeah- like being on the streets. Actually in one of my ‘funny home videos’ I took while in North Bergen- some guy walked up and bummed one when I was filming- I invited him to sit- I smoked with him- and finished the clip- when I later reviewed it- that clip never filmed].

Drew asked me about the site and all [he sees me working on it].

And I did bout a 20 minute teaching- you know- like I was doing in North Bergen. These are all college grads- or students- they have asked me if I just teach ‘religion’ only. I say no- but Philosophy- other subjects- when I engage with these smart kids- in all these subjects- It opens a door for the ‘religion’ too.

Some of the others who have seen me come in these past few months never heard me say anything.

So- in a way- even as I re-evaluate the whole meeting thing- yet- new ones seem to pop up anywhere I go.

Funny in a way.

Ok- that’s it for now.

THURSDAY [10-30-14]

Today instead of doing our weekly teaching- from Luke 9- let me share about transition.

Every year when I go to New Jersey- I attend the Mass at the old Catholic church that I went to as a kid.
Even though I’m not Catholic- yet I will read and follow the chapters that the priest spoke on for the week- and I do get direction from them.

About 3 years ago I stopped the street ministry in Texas for about a year.

I thought I was going to move back to North Bergen- and one of the key verses that God used about transition- came from Luke.


I journaled that year- I still have that journal by the way- and as the year moved along- I would look back on that verse- and I knew God wanted me to follow thru with the change- to move.

Now- I went- and was willing to do it. I stayed 3 months in North Bergen- and it was a sort of an Abraham/Isaac experience.

He was willing to offer up his Son- and yet God changed the plan- at the last minute.

I came back to Texas- and never thought I would.

So- this one verse- was a challenge to me- to move along in new things- make the commitment- and then see what lies ahead.

I did look for that verse in the Mass readings while in New Jersey- it’s somewhere in Luke [it would be easy for me to find it- but I wait till it pops up instead].

There were readings from Luke in the Mass this last time- yet it didn’t ‘pop up’.

When I got back to Texas- I went to Rock City church- and the message was very prophetic- it spoke about much of what I just did in North Bergen.

I usually pick one verse from the message- and read that chapter during the week.

Sure enough- it was a verse from Luke 9- and the last verse in that chapter is my Ploughman verse.

This week I have debated about making some changes- I have not been on the streets all week- and I felt I wasn’t supposed to jump right in to the routine when I got back.

This year I have been doing home groups all over South Texas- 5 or 6 a week.

I felt God wanted me to do them- and they went real well.

I’m praying about whether or not I should keep doing them.

There are 2 ways I could read the Ploughman verse- one is ‘keep doing everything you are doing- don’t look back’.

But another way I could take it- is ‘keep moving along the new path- hearing my voice- even in the midst of change- you’re on a journey- don’t look back’.

As of today- that's what I’m leaning towards.

I have spent many years on the go- and I am revaluating many things.

I do feel the meetings I held this year were important- many of my friends were never really part of my teaching ministry- they never heard me speak.

And it was important for me to have made this deposit.

It’s not hard for me to teach- I don’t really have to prepare much at all- I just read the chapter at the house- and speak ‘off the cuff’- and it goes well.

But- I’m not sure- as of today- that it was meant to go on forever.

In the New Testament the apostles spoke for a season- and moved on.

I wrote a lot about this in the past- but there are times when you speak to groups- cities- and then the job is one.

I will text our home group leaders today- and let them know I will make a decision next week.

I actually got a call last night from one I do on Wednesday- I told Angel I was going to text everyone today- they were waiting for me to show up last night.

I wanted to write on all of this- so people can follow the story- in the bible we read the stories of the men and women- not just what they taught.

You see the up’s and downs- the real life struggles that they had.

My atheist friend Danny- who I spent a lot of time with in North Bergen- God actually uses him by the statements he makes.

He does not know this- but this happens more with him than anyone else in that area.

He was talking to an elderly lady about the stairs in their building- he said ‘you know- as I get older- coming down the stairs is harder than going up’.

I have a hard time ‘slowing down’ it takes more effort for me- then going up.

This week I’m trying to slow down- re-evaluate some stuff- Danny was right- again.

"Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life. [The Green Pumpkin video I took in North Bergen- being it’s Halloween- thought it fit.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots. visit- my radio shows.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

SUNDAY MORNING- This week if I start the meetings back up [I might wait one more week] all I will do is overview my month in North Bergen- and try and tell the most interesting stuff.

On the trip I made comments on the pictures- so some of you might be familiar when I re-tell.

Ok- one of the verses [actually a few] that these past few years I felt were significant about the teaching/outreach ministry deals with the ‘Princes of Abraham’.

In the bible Abraham had kids- The first 2 were Ishmael and Isaac.

Ishmael is the father of the Arab [many are Muslim] people- and Isaac is the head of the Jewish people [and according to the apostle Paul- Christians are the promised seed].

So- in my teaching I try and speak into these 3 groups- Jews- Muslims and Christians.

So- one day at Burger king Abe walked in- he is 99 years old and owns lots of real estate in North Bergen- worth between 50-100 million [Danny told me].

Danny introduced me to Abe- and his sweet wife Regina- who is 97.

Regina would walk up to me and Danny and give us lollipops- it was cute- Danny’s in his 70’s and I’m in my 50’s- but she saw us as kids.

Abe told me his story- he grew up in Poland and met Regina [also from Poland] when she was 5 years old.

Abe fought with the Russians against the Nazi’s during WW2 [called a partisan] and he told me he killed many Nazi’s.

They married in 1945- and came to the U.S. in 1947.

Abe studied in the Yeshiva university in Poland [famous school for Jews who study to be Rabbi’s] he and Regina speak 9 languages- and Abe is well versed in the Torah [the Christian Old Testament].

Danny told Abe I was a street preacher- and Abe mentioned some stories from the Torah.

He talked about Hamman- and I went on and told the story that we find in the book of Esther.

Hamman [I have not read it in years- so bear with me] was a persecutor of the Jews- and hatched a plan to execute them- on a gallows.

Esther was one of the wives of the king- and she was also a Jew- but no one knew [like Regina- she owned a grocery store in Poland during the war- she provided food for the Catholic church- and was saved from the Nazi’s by pretending to be Christian].

So- Hamman built the gallows- hatched a plan to kill the Jews- but Mordechai- a relative of queen Esther- said to her ‘who knows if you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this’.

He prodded Esther to reveal her true identity to the king- and to stick up for her people.

She tells the king the plot of Hamman- and the tables turn- and Hamman himself is hung on the very gallows he built to kill the Jews.

Now- as I told the story off the cuff [like jus now] Abe realized I did know the Torah.

I did this with a few other names/events he mentioned form his years of study.

Abe did ask me if I knew any other languages- I told him no- but as a bible teacher I have learned some Hebrew and Greek.

Of course Abe knows Hebrew.

As we talked I tried to think if I can speak any Hebrew words- sure enough I told Abe ‘I know a few words of Hebrew’.

I asked Abe ‘What does Yeshua Hamishia mean’?

Abe told me- it means ‘when salvation/freedom comes- he will be on a White horse’.

I told Abe that Yeshua- or Joshua- in Hebrew means Jesus in Greek [The New Testament was written in Greek].

So the same name is Jesus for Christians.

The translation I gave is ‘Jesus is the Christ’.

Now- I don’t know if anyone ever told Abe this- it’s one of the main points a Christian would share with a Jewish friend.

I talked a little more about Isaiah 53- which is a key chapter as well- it is in the Jewish bible- and is the most clear prophecy about Jesus.

As Abe walked away- he came back to my table [in the Burger King- which he owns the property].

And he walked up to my table [he can do what he wants- he and his family never pay for food when they eat here].

And he sang- in Hebrew- a Jewish blessing over me.

The bible says if you give a cup of water to a prophet- you get a reward.

In a way Abe received the words I spoke- he gave ‘a cup of water’ [the blessing] to someone who testified to him about the Christ- from his own Torah.

[The bible says in the book of Revelation ‘the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy’].


 Ok- Today I saw Cameron for the first time since I’ve been back- I met Cameron at our halfway house about 2 years ago.

He’s ‘one of my disciples’ [that’s what he said to my Muslim friend who came around looking for me this month].

Now- he has been in my meetings this year [by the way- I committed to do the meetings- for one year- it was an experiment of sorts- and actually went much better than I thought it would- I’ll talk more about it later].

So- when Cameron left our halfway house 2 years ago- the next day I went by- and saw he had my old fire dept. bible open [I donated it to our halfway house] and it was funny- he had it open and I saw he was reading the psalms- with all the notes I made in it years earlier].

So- Cameron has been texting me when I was in North Bergen- telling me his landscaping business is booming- and he has all types of accounts- making good money.

To be honest- I thought the kid might have been trying to make me feel good being I was gone [he’s like an adopted son of sorts].

So- today he showed me all that’s going on and sure enough- he was telling the truth.

Now- I had a guy- Mason- cut a tree for me a few months back.

I told the story- he was also one of the guys that sat in my meeting at another halfway house.

So- he said he cut trees- and I had him do mine.

He knows his stuff- but uses [drugs].

So- he never finished the job- I decided to pay him anyway- and he came back a few days later with his partners.

He never told them I paid him- and we got into it.

 I made up with Mason and he sat in my meetings again [my ‘fellowship’ is real- some of the guys have gotten into it with me- or I them- and later we make up- very real stuff].

So- Mason has joined with Cameron and they are making good money.

As we left church- Mason was carrying- you guessed it- that same fire dept. bible. [By the way- they never met before- I knew them both- but they never knew each other- Mason ran into Cameron on the street when I was gone- and that’s how they hooked up]

Cameron gave it to him [see the pics- all the pics I’m posting on Facebook relate to these posts].

One of the many verses God gave me while in New Jersey was ‘Isaiah 43:18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.
Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
 God requires of us to hear him daily- to be open to change and new things- conversion is not only a static event [one time thing] but an ongoing process.

I’m glad I stuck with the kid- and made up with Mason- they are a good team.


Just got back from the beach baptism- I didn’t baptize- but went to a Rock City Church baptism.

We had a good time- the pastor- David- is a great guy. I’ve talked with him- shared prophetic stuff- he wants me to fit in more- I’m just supporting him in a way- being pastors need men who have a background in stuff. So I think that’s my purpose at this time.

I sat at one of the picnic tables- there are lots of people at a function like this who know stuff about the bible.

Sometimes when people see me smoking and stuff- they think I might be someone in need- that’s ok.

A lady came by- she writes- I gave her my card and talked a bit.

I shared some stuff with the pastor- he thanked me.

Then there were 2 ladies who sat by me- as we talked it turned into about a 30 minute meeting.

One of them said ‘I wish I could quote the bible like that’- I told them that I’ve been doing this for many years- and it comes over time.

They did know the bible- and were sincere Christians.

One of the girls realized she could learn stuff that she has questions about.

I did a teaching [spur of the moment] on whether or not Christians should obey the Kosher food laws of the bible.

I did a history of when God first allowed man to eat meat [after the flood] the various verses in Corinthians and Romans about the issue.

Many good Christians have questions on this.

I quoted a lot- gave some background- in the end I said it’s a mater of grace- your allowed to eat whatever- but some choose to be vegetarians- and that’s ok.

It was funny- I never planned on doing a meeting type thing at the baptism- but it worked out well.

On the way to the island I saw Austin for the first time.

Austin is an Afghanistan vet- who out of all the kids I work with- he’s in the most trouble [that’s his nick name].

I just asked Cameron earlier in the day how he was doing.

He told me bad- he got beat up in the face with a bat when I was gone- they disfigured him- for life.

He said you wouldn’t even recognize him.

Austin got stabbed before I left Texas on this last trip.

I remember the guy who stabbed him [who I know] as acting strange that day- outside the mission.

I asked him ‘how you doing’- he looked at me- I could tell he was ready to do something.

He said ‘what did you say’.

I replied ‘I asked how you were doing Bryan’.

He looked at me and said ‘blessed’.  A few minutes later he stabbed Austin- it made the news that night.

I recognized Austin as he crossed the street- and yeah- he looks different.

I noticed he took off his sunglasses for a 2nd- and put them on fast.

He didn’t see me- and I was on the way to the island.

I’ll try and cover a few more things this week- sort of like journaling.

As of now- I think I will wait before I re-start the meetings- I do enjoy them- but I feel I should wait.

It’s not easy for me to not be busy- so I’ll have to try and settle down some.

Ok- enjoy this update- I might do 1 or 2 more and that should be it. [Black Sabbath drive- to My North Bergen friends- this video is a drive I took with Cheech in the old town- you can see 91st street and stuff- for those who moved out of the area long ago- you might like it- I did mention some names of the old friends from the area as I passed your house’s- see who you are!]

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots. visit- my radio shows.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

2079- Been back in tx. for a couple of days- and figured I’d give an update.

My friend Dirk got out of jail about 2 weeks ago- I wrote his story this year- and wanted to tell the ‘ending’.

Dirk has been a friend for many years- about 9 months ago he stabbed another friend- almost killed him.

At the time Dirk told a story- that frankly no one believed [I still don’t by the way].

He said Tennessee was beating him up- Dirk took a knife out and held it up- Tennessee fell on the knife- twice.

Ok- obviously this didn’t happen.

But- I visited Tennessee in the hospital and he told me that he was on top of Dirk ‘getting the best of him’ and Dirk stabbed him.

I think this was what happened- and even though the ‘fell on the knife’ part was a lie- yet it did seem to me that Dirk had a plausible self-defense.

Now- I kept Dirks dog at my house for the last 8 months- and had all his stuff- he trusted me to keep his bank cards and all- I moved money from his account into his jail account- he offered to at least pay for dog food- I told him I didn’t want a dime.

Now- his lawyer- a public defender- did go out of his way at times for Dirk- he met me at the pawn shop when I got Dirk's guitars out- Dirk was afraid he would lose them.

We did a few errands for Dirk [too many to be honest] and he would contact me when he needed to find a witness or 2- being I know the guys on the street.

I visited Dirk in jail- he called me- we kept in touch.

I would ask his lawyer ‘what do you think- what’s Dirk looking at’- he told me that because of the statement he made to the police- that it didn’t look good.

Now- Tennessee [the victim] did leave the state- he wanted nothing to do with it- so the state picked up the charges.

His lawyer would tell me that Dirk should accept a plea- they offered 6 years- on this charge he would have to do half before he was up for parole.

His lawyer knew I gave Dirk advice- so I would tell Dirk ‘I think your lawyer is good- I would listen to him’.

Now- the lawyer said they would never offer what Dirk wanted- 2 years.

In the end- he plead to a misdemeanor assault and got out on time served.

Dirk told me that his lawyer lied to him about a few things- and Dirk [like me] thought because the victim- who indeed himself told me that he was beating Dirk up- and he left the state- that how could the prosecutor go to court when the victim is not even there.

So- the lawyer tried to get Dirk to take the 6 year plea- then the 2 year plea- and came back 2 weeks later and he was out.

The lawyer was working with the prosecutor- I’m sure they did look at some of Dirks past- and maybe decided ‘together’ that the plea was ok.

The problem?

I was right- and Dirk too- the fact that Tennessee was gone- did indeed affect the case.

All during these months I talked to Dirk- did tell him what the lawyer told me- and thought Dirk should listen to the lawyer.

Then one day Tennessee’s brother came to the mission- he told me the cops were coming by every few days to find Tennessee.

I even told his lawyer that Tennessee was gone- as far as I knew.

So- I realized they did indeed need Tennessee- like I said- and I’m sure his lawyer knew it.

The last time I spoke with Dirk on the phone- before his trial date- I didn’t say the usual ‘take your lawyers advice’.

No- because I realized he was not being totally upfront with me- the lawyer- I told Dirk ‘if you are not happy with the offer- go to trial’.

He took the misdemeanor charge- and got out.

SATURDAY- I want to try and cover some of the stuff that happened back here in Texas when I was gone.

I got back Thursday and was going to take a few days off- but that never seems to happen.

I got with the guys Friday and today- and will try and tell a few stories.

I noticed when I got up today- I had a hard time walking- then after I cut the grass and sat down- I couldn’t stand up.

About 7 years ago I had an injury at the fire dept.- disc in the back problem [common] but it got so bad the last year on the job- that I finally had to get it checked [I always wait too long for stuff like this].

So- the back problem caused nerve damage to my right leg- and for a few months I couldn’t walk [there’s a name for it- I don’t remember].

When it happens your whole leg cramps- but not like a regular cramp- but much worse.

If it happens when your out- shopping- whatever- you go down [I was worried at times if I felt it coming on].

So- when I retired I DID NOT TAKE A MEDICAL RETIREMENT- I already had 25 years in- and as the process goes for injury leave [which I never took before- only a few days out of 25 years] I just did it myself- by retiring the normal way.

Usually you would stretch it out [sue] and get some cash as a ‘bonus’- I never did this.

The city waited about 8 months before sending me my official ‘thank you for service’ thing- because they figured I would do the normal thing- and try and get money for the injury- it was legitimate- and job related.

But- I never did it- I also lost my health coverage- it was too much to keep [each city- and state are different- our collective bargaining agreement did not have a good deal when I retired].

So- I did have things I needed to get checked for- and treated for- till this day I have done neither.

Without going too long- I thought I got accepted with the VA a few months ago- and then realized they misread my income- and turned me down.

I gave them the correct retirement income- and was accepted.

About 8 months ago I had a letter from them- thinking I was in- and figured ‘might as well bite the bullet and go get checked- treated’ [for multiple things].

I opened the letter- and they said I lied about my income [I’m beginning to think that if you lie- about lots of stuff- it works out better!]..They went 2 years back and saw I had about 20,000 income from a sort of 401k thing that the fire dept started a few years before I retired.

I used it as a savings- and cashed it out in one year.

The VA said it was annual income- it was not.

As of now I have not even opened the last letter they sent- I’m assuming [hoping] they got it right.

So- when I woke up today with the old leg injury- I figured I’d go to the ER [big thing for me] and at least do something about the leg.

It would be covered under workman’s comp- the only thing I actually have for coverage- which only applies to this one injury.

As I sat at the ER- I started thinking ‘maybe I should tell the doc- take a look at his too- being I’m here’.

Then I thought ‘maybe I’ll ask him about this other thing’.

Then- as I sat- I decided to just leave.

This whole insurance thing has been an issue for me- I was with friend’s today- much healthier than me- they have disability- insurance- everything [and never really worked] so yes- it gets me upset.

But- as I hobbled out of the hospital- I had a few of the guys on that side of town call- and spent most of the day- yeah- doing ministry.

I texted the guys when I got to our halfway house- no one home.

Andy was in the Bluff- my side of town- and I just got home about 10 minutes ago.

A funny thing happened- when I went to see his brother David- who I do the halfway house with.

Jackie- his girlfriend- who knows me- said ‘John- you lost weight’ [in a month?] and she asked ‘do you have PTSD’.

David has it- and it reminded me of what someone said when I first arrived in N.J. - about manic depression.

I told Jackie I have multiple things- but because of the way the insurance thing worked out- and other stuff- I have not been treated- for anything.

Jackie said ‘you have it’.

Now- I bring all this up because I want to say that after I left the ER- and had a full day- with the guys- I felt good.

Are the  physical problems fixed- no.

But I dreaded [feared] having to start the process- now.

Some of the delays were not of my own choosing [I had- have? no insurance] now as time goes by you become desensitized.

I do want to cover some of the other stuff that happened when I was gone- but might do that in the next day or 2.

Some guys relapsed- but others had some great things happen- I will pick up the meetings I do soon- thought of maybe taking a few days off.

When I got back I thought ‘maybe I will cancel one’.

But found out that they don’t want to cancel it- so I’ll do it.

Today another ministry asked me to start a new one- on their side of town.

I told the brother yeah- but think I should wait a while.

Let me end with a funny story- my last night in North Bergen- I went to say bye to the crew.

I had a ginger ale drink in my hand- and as I walked away I said ‘hey Billy- you want to finish it’.

He said no thanks.


He never turns down a drink.

He said ‘oh- I thought it was Beer’.

I said ‘Billy- I have 22 months [I’ve been saying 20- but I was behind 2 months- I don’t keep track well] sober’.

Billy says ‘Yeah I know- but I thought because it was your last night- you were celebrating’.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots. visit- my radio shows.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


Let me make some final comments about my month in North Bergen.

On this trip God really ‘spoke’ to me- lots of chapters from the bible- and lots of prophetic stuff.

But- as things go- stuff happens.

It’s 3 am as I write- Monday morning. Just got up to pray- and I’m mad- pissed off- but waiting.


Yeah- I’m mad because someone stole from me.

Now- it’s not real big- maybe they needed it.

But it was a special Cross I bought last year- I leave it in my room in North Bergen- like some other stuff. [Bought it at Saint Patrick’s cathedral last year- I look at it every morning when I get up]

In Texas I have had this happen- I mean the guys don’t realize there are some things- collectables- that I look at every day when I get up.

So- if they are stolen- I know.

So- instead of confronting the person- and getting mad [he would deny it] you just move on.

The real problem is the last time I was in North Bergen- I was robbed in Texas [big stuff].

So even though the item was of little monetary value- when people steal from others- then they can’t trust being out of the house.

Because you have to make sure you hide the valuable stuff [I now do this in Texas when I leave my house] and it just makes all the other stuff you’re dealing with harder.

Ok- enough of that.

The next day or 2 I’ll write some of the verses. [Actually- its 3:40- I think I’ll post it now- because I have a few days left in North Bergen- and it might keep my other stuff safe. I’m thinking of having to lock my stuff up in the car every day before I leave- computer and important stuff. So- stuff like this just makes things harder].

Ok- let me do some real time posting- its 5:30 am- just finished praying in the yard.
The weather is great- in the 50’s- and praying in the yard early is a routine for me.

There are multiple reasons why I took this trip on the spur of the moment.

One was I needed to get away from the Texas streets for a while.


A lot of the guys I work with deal with lots of stuff- and at times things get to you.

I never told this story- but it might help people understand why a little thing- like a Cross being taken- affects me.

About 3 months ago one of the guys I work with- who has a history of theft- and to be honest- is a klepto.

Well- he was at my house one day- and about 2 weeks later my wife told me ‘John- we didn’t want to tell you yet [they know I get mad] but someone stole Debbie’s purse- and they are using all her credit cards and doing I.D. theft’.

Ok- she was right- I was mad.

Debbie is my daughter- her car just got wrecked- and now she not only lost all her i.d.’s- but she was going thru the whole thing- having to file police reports- me taking her to work- her not having her stuff.

It was a mess.

The main culprit was a guy I help.

He also stole from another friend- they had him on camera selling stuff at the pawn shop.

He also has a history of I.D. theft.

So- I waited.

Some other friends on the street told me ‘hey- so and so just bought all new clothes and stuff at the store- he’s all decked out’.

I had more than one person tell me that he did it.

Now- I have helped this guy out- a lot.

One day I had enough.

Another friend told me ‘don’t worry- we’ll get someone to teach him a lesson’.

I said ‘you don’t have to do it- I will’.

That morning I prayed [it was hard] and I told another friend ‘I’m going to beat the f.. out of him if I see him’.

I went looking for him- went to the mission- and waited.

He showed up- now- it wasn’t ‘that bad’ [in my mind] but I did walk up to him- mad- used the F bomb a few times- and almost got into it.

My other friends came out of the mission- heard what happened- and acted like I hit the guy.

I did not- but it was bad.

The guy- he told a few people that he did not steal my daughter’s stuff- and one of the guys said he was crying.

Now- after about a week- I dropped it [till this day the cops have not resolved the case].

And I still help the guy [he’s not allowed at my house any more].

Others have said ‘John- you let the guys go too far- you forgive- but they take advantage of you’.

Now- because of incidents like this- you are always worried about people taking stuff- even if it’s minor stuff.

I had the same guy steal 2 packs of cigarettes out of my car once.

So- you wind up hiding stuff- locking stuff up- always worried someone might take something- it’s a hassle.

That puts some perspective on the last post.

I had a friend tell me once ‘John- they steal from you- because they don’t like it when others do well- and they are not’.


I needed to tell this story- so you could see the whole picture.

One of the reasons I’m in North Bergen- is it gave me a break from having to worry about the whole theft issue- that has effected both me and my family- I was getting too mad about that very issue- and now I have to lock my stuff up for the rest of this trip.

I’ll try and update the next few days- good stuff.

I’ll confront the person in a little while- then be out for the day.

MONDAY- 3 pm

Had a full day- met a new guy at White Castle- he heard me speaking- and we talked for about an hour.

He’s a history buff- and we discussed lots of world history- and church history.

Billy showed up- and I told him I’d meet him after I do my video across the street.

Today I made the 2nd official teaching video [I had planned on doing 4] and it’s strange- I haven’t recorded in about 8 years.

I used to record regularly- when I was on radio.

It just so happened that I started a radio [voice/video] site about 2 months ago- for the purpose of posting my old radio shows.

Then- about a week or so ago I made a video of Nick singing- a spur of the moment thing.

I am not computer savvy- so- I figured I’ll try and upload them on Facebook.

That didn’t work- but I managed to put them on my WordPress site.

So- I thought it would be good to see some videos of me teaching- in North Bergen.

In the 4 short videos I wanted to cover the whole bible [it can be done].

I made 2- and as I review the rest of today’s [my battery died] I might have already finished- I’ll have to see later.

I wanted to stay till Thursday- but as you know- stuff happens.

There are different reasons why people do things- all of us.

I’m obviously not perfect- I have a very bad temper problem.

I just got back- and Nick and Danny saw me a little off the rails today.

But- I don’t hide my flaws- I try and work on them- and try and finish the task at hand.

In the old days this whole day would have been ruined.

Actually I kept the normal routine- had a long teaching session with Danny- did some street ministry- and made the 2nd video.

There are so many chapters I read on this trip- and many prophetic events- how they fit.

Too many to tell to be honest.

Let me give one example.

I mentioned the other day that an old friend gave me a ring- from Horace Mann School.

The ring has an emblem of an eternal flame/oil lamp.

So- my atheist friend Danny was the one who told me it was a biblical image [I at first though it was a Genie lamp].

Now- that day [2 days ago] we talked about the bible and how there are verses about this.

I have been reading thru Exodus and many other portions of the bible- these are regular chapters that I started years ago- in order. [so- out of the few chapters that speak about this- you might only hit 1 every 2-3 years- because I’m not reading straight thru- but maybe 1 Exodus chpater every day or so]

Sure enough- the chapter the next day was one of the few that mentions the oil lamp- with a flame that won’t go out [Exodus 27:20-21].

There are many things like this.

I was talking to Danny yesterday- told him I bought a coke and it said ‘share a coke with Danny’.

I thought it was funny- and said to me it meant I was supposed to spend some time having fellowship with Danny.

Nick said ‘I got one that said share a coke with John’.

To Nick it meant something- we hang out just about every day.

Now- some of the things are actually ‘better’ then these few examples- but there have been many.

Like the Catholic deacon who walked in to Burger King- Danny said ‘hey- meet John- he’s a street preacher’.

He walked to the other side of the room and sat down- honestly it seemed rude.

Then he came back- had a paper in his hand and said ‘guess a number’ he didn’t say from 1 to 10 either.

Now- out of ‘inspiration’ I said ‘I’m a prophet- 6’.

He opened it up- Danny said ‘you got it’.

The deacon listened.

I don’t know if he prayed and did this as a test- either way it was a sign to Danny and the deacon.

I went to the Catholic mass for 3 Sundays at my old church- Our Lady of Fatima.

For the past 3 weeks- the main chapters were about God and his vineyard- these are some of the chapters- images- I use when praying for my North Bergen friends.

It just so happened that the same images were used during this time.

I have gotten a lot out of Exodus on this trip.

When I first got into town I read ‘get up into the hill [another image I use for North Bergen] and BE THERE’.

I felt God was saying ‘just be here’.

Not so much ‘do something’ [though I did lots] but he seemed to be saying ‘just being here- being with the guys- that has an effect’.

In these same chapters God says ‘build all things after the pattern that I show you in the mount’.

I felt like God was going to show me some new avenue of ministry- while here.

I have made about 13 videos this time- something I never did before.

God tells Moses to get things in place first- so the ark [the words] will have a format.

I did this by already launching the radio site in Texas- it was a platform that ‘contained’ the words.

These are just a few examples of things- over the next day or 2 I’ll try and write more.

Another chapter came from Corinthians [I think 6?] but Paul said when he came into town there was distress- problems- difficulty- yet he still completed the mission.

In life- you have to finish the mission.

I have had some Texas friend’s call/text during this time.

They didn’t know when I was coming back- I didn’t know either.

I felt like 4 weeks was good- if I get back Friday night- that’s 4 weeks gone from Texas.

Lets see what happens the next day or 2. I plan on leaving Thursday morning.

There are other things I have not written on- but things I felt were long term problems about my mom’s situation here in New Jersey.

I can simply give advice- offer help- in the end we all make our own choices.

But- I have offered- many times- for my mom to move to Texas- she can even live with me.

These offers have been made.

My sister died over a year ago- she had many problems- I’m trying to help- do what’s right- but we all make our choices.

I’ have been very uncomfortable about the situation she is in- for a long time.

We’ll see what happens.


Today will be my last day in North Bergen, and I think I should write about something different.

When I come back home every year- I stay at my mom’s house- where I grew up as a kid.

For many years my mom and sister lived in a very dysfunctional home.

My sister Laura- who I loved- was an addict her whole life.

I work with addicts- but the effect of her addiction was worse than many of the cases I have known- in the sense that she fought every day with my mom- nonstop.
Because of this it was hard for me to come home over the years- some years I just did not come.

About 2 years ago I came back- after about 7 years of not being here [I’ve made the trip more in the last 2-3 years].

For many years I have told my mom if she wants to move to Corpus Christi I would work it out- at the time I checked into the Methadone clinic in Texas- meaning I was going to set everything up for my sister to come too.

Now- my sister was an animal lover [like me and my family- I have 5 dogs- 6 cats].

And one of the main obstacles was moving the cats- so we worked out a plan- I would get a vehicle and personally transport her cats.

But- as fate would have it- my sister died in 2013.

It was a shock.

Now- I thought maybe it was time for mom to move- she has no family in the area any more- my mom and dad have been divorced for years- and maybe it was time.

At the time she seriously thought of moving- me and Patrick helped her find homes for the cats- it was a serious thing.

One day Patrick brought 2 new kittens home- cute- but mom said ‘no more cats- I’m trying to get rid of the ones we have’ Hmm?

About a week later- Cheryl- Pats girl at the time- said ‘He’s never going to get rid of the kittens’.

I realized that it was to Pats benefit- for my mom not to move.

Patrick is a good person- I never resented that he lives with my mom I used to drive him to work- and treat him like a brother- he even calls my mom ‘mom’.

Patrick used to date Laura- at the time they were both using- and many bad things happened during those years.

Things that addicts do.

About 5-6 years ago I got a call- Patrick overdosed and almost died.

I prayed for Pat- he made it.

I was very grateful- and he has been clean- doing well for about 5 years.
Patrick broke up with my sister years ago- but one day asked her if she would ask my mom if he could stay at the house.

My mom let him move in at the time- and he has been here ever since.

Now- in NA/AA [Pat is very involved] they teach steps- openness- honesty- but my experience with many in the movement [I do a halfway house- take guys to detox- I’m very involved with recovery- I myself am a recovering alcoholic] mainly in Texas- is many of the guys still have the mentality of an addict- even when they stop using.

I realized that even though Pat is doing well- he has settled in living with my mom- and it’s to his benefit for her to not ever move.

So once again- there are obstacles- for my mom to finish her life with her family- I have 4 daughters- my wife and a brother and sister in law all in Texas- and eventually there will be great grandchildren.

The death of my sister was very sad- but in a way it allowed for my mom to finally make the move.

Now- at one time Patrick lived here- for free. I believe he pays some rent now.

I know my mom wants me to come back every year- and I thought maybe it will work out that I will do long term visits back here in North Bergen.

But- when a non-family member has benefits for things to stay a certain way- if I’m here- he can’t do the things me might do if I weren’t here.

One day I went to the yard to pray- and some guy was sleeping downstairs.

My mom didn’t know- and he acted like he got caught.

I did not tell my mom- but I realized that every so often Patrick might me letting people stay here- without her knowing [maybe charging?]

While these things are not real bad- they are indeed manipulative- and not honest.

So- when I’m back here- the longer I stay- the longer Patrick has to ‘adjust’ whatever things he does.

So- in a way- things happen- not big things- but games- to maybe make John go home.

Now- this is not the first time- and I usually overlook the games.

Patrick is in his 40’s- and I hoped he would become independent- get a place- and realize this situation not long term- it’s been going on for many years now.

One of the addicts you see me with on this trip is disabled- has no legs.

He has a nice apartment- raises his daughter- and is independent- yet still using.

In one of the meetings I went to on this trip- I saw one of the guys who makes every meeting.

I dont know him well- he maybe is about my age.

He spoke one night and said ‘people always tell me I should get a job’ and he went on and explained the reasons why he has no job.

Actually- he should get a job.

Part of recovery is becoming independent- hell- my ‘non-recovering’ friend is!

I love my mom- I love my friends- but our family for years has tried to have my mom move to Texas.

To be fair- she also works out a deal with Patrick where he does chores and helps her- so it’s not just a one way street- I realize this.

But I avoided being here for many years- because of what I explained above.

I do resent the fact that a non family member- who is trying to get on his feet- sees it to his benefit for my mom to stay here.

And at times has done things – little things- but things that don’t help.

The best witness- in my mind- for NA is for the people involved to move on in life- to become independent- to live a normal life as best as possible.

The little incident I wrote about yesterday was a part of this picture- it was manipulation.

Things kids do- not adults.

I will go out today and have a full day- I will make my last video for the trip- and leave early in the morning.

Talk to you later.

TUESDAY NIGHT- Danny gave me a nice gift today- 2 nice pens- he had them for 35 years. I told Danny that even though he claims to be an atheist- yet God used him in many ways.

I got a whistle from Danny [represents sound/voice- part of the teaching I’m doing- video].

Many of the comments- things that happened- were indeed prophetic.

Yesterday he told me he had a gift for me if I saw him today- I wasn’t sure if I would leave this morning- but decided I’d stay till tonight.

But- he knew I wanted to trade for a ring- but I thought I already have a ring given to me by my old friend Jim- and figured if he offered me a ring I was going to say ‘keep it till I see you again’.

Instead he gave me the pens- I was just talking about a verse to someone this past week ‘My tongue is the pen of a ready writer’.

Meaning? The things you write and speak will have impact- yeah- I took the pens.

Danny asked me some stuff about the bible- as I sat and quoted [like I have done all thru the trip] he said ‘You do something strange- when you quote the bible in these talks- I see your face- it’s like you go into a trance’.

He said ‘it’s like you’re actually reading/seeing the pages as you speak’.

I told Danny I don’t ‘see’ the pages- but I am ‘bringing’ them up from memory.

Jesus said ‘The Holy Spirit will bring all things to your remembrance’.

I had a long talk with Paul about addiction- the meaning of life- we talked for quite a while.

I told the guys the other day that I will be leaving Thursday.

Now- I only changed it by one day- didn’t even think they would notice.

So- as I was talking to Billy I said ‘yeah- wanted to see you guys before I leave in the morning’ he said ‘Todays only Tuesday- you’re not leaving till Thursday’.

I was surprised he remembered.

I said ‘I’ll see you next time’.

As he walked away he said ‘I’m bummed- that’s not till another 10 months’.

I share this to let you see that I do see these guys as friends- and they mostly see me the same way.

Why is this important? They do indeed see/hear all the stuff I’m teaching- quoting- and it’s not coming from a ‘forced’ thing- that is when you become a ‘friend’ of sinners [what they accused Jesus of] then you do have influence.

Danny asked me one day ‘do you think Billy will ever change- he’s a lost cause’.

I told him ‘honestly- no’ But I did tell him the story of a Texas friend and said he did change- and was as ‘hopeless’ as Billy.

So- at the end of this trip- I had a good time.

I’ll see my Texas friends next week- and God willing I’ll be back in North Bergen- well- the next time I simply decide to jump in the car and go. This is the link to the last video I made in North Bergen

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots. visit- my radio shows.