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SUNDAY- Got back in town yesterday- wanted to just unwind- as I drove in- saw Art- he was riding a bike- and wheeling one next to him as he went.

Funny- these guys ‘find’ bikes- and then sell them/pawn them- all the time.
Right before I left I saw Art at the mission- he told me Huey was pissed off because Art jumped Tammy’s fence- and confiscated 2 bikes.

Now- Art’s story was he and Huey were fixing them- for sale [Art does do this- they are not all stolen].

Anyway – Huey saw the bike outside at St. Peters church- where they serve a free breakfast.

Art was inside- partaking- yeah- Huey jumped on the bike.

I saw Huey later- he was mad ‘did you hear what Art did!’- Well- I heard his side.

Huey said he stole them- I mean the bike stories in the Bluff are a post in itself- I have even been in the mix [I gave a bike to a known drunk/thief- of course I figured I’d never see the thing again- but- I have connections. So when I got back from North Bergen- last year- after 3 months. Andy told me ‘John- Craig [his son] has your bike in his garage- do you want it?’ I laughed- couldn’t believe it was still around. I told Andy ‘nah- let your kid keep it’. No- they wanted me to have it- so I got it. I then gave it to Henry- he adores the thing- guards it with his life. Funny- I gave him an old sport coat- you know- looks like it came from the 70’s show- it was cold one day and that’s all I had- he wears it all the time. So- I see him riding my bike- wearing that coat- its funny!]

Ok- as I sat at the house- unwinding- the doorbell rang.

It was Jimmy- I only met him once- Mike- my artist friend told me one day ‘John- I have a friend who is suicidal- I told him about your meetings- are you doing one today’. This was a while back- I said ‘no- but I’ll do one for him’.

So- I had a good group- and I did a meeting.

That’s the only time I met Jimmy- but yesterday he was back in town- and looked for the house- he found it.

I told him I just got back from North Bergen- he didn’t know I was gone- and we sat out front for about an hour- he just wanted to hang.

Now- he brought up a story form the bible- John chapter 21.

He told it good- talked like me ‘Yeah John- Jesus told Peter to take care of his church- and the Jesus finds them fishing- he tells Peter- hey- what the F^%$ are you doing- I told you to feed my sheep’.

Now- Jimmy told the story well- and right before I left I taught from this chapter- and the day before I left I spent about 3 hours with Henry- a real scholar in the bible.

He knew I was going to N.J. and he kept inviting me to hang out at some property where he lives [in a broken down RV- no electric or anything].

So- I canceled my plans that day- was going to go to the halfway house- and spent time with Henry.
Now- we talk at a ‘level’ that often others don’t get- yeah- the whole intellectual thing- which is fine- one on one- but in a meeting- it gets too deep.

But Henry too brought up John chapter 21- the same story that Jimmy relayed- in street language.

Anyway- after I came inside- I have been reading thru the whole bible- in order.

Just started Exodus- and I forgot where I was in the New Testament- sure enough- flipped to the page- and yeah- I was at John’s gospel- chapter 21.

Ok- when stuff like this happens- I pay attention.

I won’t cover the whole thing now- but often this is how I sense God is speaking to me- by confirming stuff like this.
When I got off the plane- here in Texas- I got a call- it said ‘RICK’.

Geez- he must have just got out of jail the day I left- I’m sure the crew at White Castle said ‘John was here!’

Rick was in jail for about 3 weeks- out of all the guys from North Bergen- Rick calls/texts me the most- he is always asking ‘when are you coming back!’

I’m sure he feels bad that he missed me- I didn’t answer the phone- too tired.

I will text him this week- I’m sure the guys filled him in.

Ok- that’s it for now- plan on having a full day today- maybe you guys should read John 21- I want to do a little more teaching for some of my AA/NA friends- talk a bit about some stuff- for now- the best advice I can give [for those who need more- I have friends both in TX. and New Jersey who achieved sobriety thru the program- but still think something is missing].

For those- I recommend reading thru the book of Proverbs- one chapter a day- the book is not real ‘religious’ [which some AA folk have a problem with] but it gives practical advice for all areas of life- sort of advancing from the basic text- and moving on in life.

Ok- God bless- talk to you guys tomorrow.

MONDAY- THE 5^TH ELEMENT.

Ok- let’s talk philosophy today- the last post on this subject I traced what we normally refer to as the beginning of Greek philosophy- a man by the name of Thales- 6^th century BCE.

We said that Thales had an idea that water was the principle element- water seemed to have the ability to move [motion] by itself- so Walla- maybe water is the principle thing.

He was what we refer to as a Monist.

Monists believed that there was one principle element- responsible for all other things.

Now- the pre Socratic philosophers debated about this- some said it was air- others earth- some said fire- as a matter of fact- some said all 4 of these elements were responsible for existence.

Now- some sought a 5^th element- some yet to be discovered thing that would explain it all.

A man by the name of Anaximander described it as ‘the boundless’- something that has no origin- he said it was ‘both unborn- and immortal’ ahh- you can already see the attributes of God in this [boundless- what Theologians call omnipresent- God having no limits- he is everywhere [but not everything- get to that in a moment] and ‘unborn’ that is he himself has no beginning].

Ok- this 5^th element [some called it Ether- or Aether- a sort of wave theory- that light travels along this ether- this idea lasted till the day of Einstein- who showed us that Ether does not exist [in this way] but that light itself is made up of particles- photons- this was one of the major breakthroughs of modern physics].

A few years ago the movie ‘the 5^th Element’- Bruce Willis- hit on this theme- sort of like the ‘God particle’- that is they were in search for some type of being that was eternal – self existent.

The term Quintessence [quint- 5] came to be defined as this 5^th element- and today we use the word Quintessential to describe the pure essence of a thing- the perfect embodiment of something.

Over time the Greek thinkers would arrive at the idea that yes indeed- there was one main thing- Monism- that could be the source of all other things.
It is interesting to note that the Jewish prophets- and wisdom literature- which predates these guys- already started from the standpoint of Monotheism- one God.

Now- Monism is not Monotheism.

Monism is really a form of what we call Pantheism [in the study of religion].

Pantheism says that God is ‘everything’- some eastern religions hold to this concept.

The Christian view is that God is separate from creation- that he is indeed the original source of creation- but not the creation itself.

The Geek philosophers even described this 5^th element as ‘The One’- see- they were getting close.

In today’s debates- some espouse an idea that there was no beginning point- that the universe is either eternal [something Einstein disproved with the Big Bang theory] or that there is a sort of infinite regress- that there is no one starting point- but that there have been a never ending [or beginning] series of ‘big bangs’ that go on forever.

This defies the laws of logic- and math.

Math?
Yeah- many of the great physicists were also great mathematicians [like Einstein- and Max Plank- who was first a mathematician].

If there was no beginning point- mathematically it doesn’t ‘work’.

You would never be able to arrive at the present time- if there was no starting point to measure from [I know this might sound strange- but this is indeed a proof- that there had to be a starting point].

What these thinkers show us is that even thru the ancient field of Philosophy- you still arrive at some type of ‘thing’ that is responsible for all other things.

Some Christians reject the Big Bang theory- but in my view it gave the Christian apologist the greatest tool to argue for the existence of God.

For many centuries it was believed that the universe was eternal- and if that was true- then indeed you did not have to have an outside source that was responsible for it.

But Einstein showed us that there was a beginning point- that the universe is in a continual expansion mode- and if it is getting ‘bigger’ by the second- then yes- it did have a starting point.

Many today think that it ‘popped’ into existence on its own- this is both scientifically and logically impossible- it violates the law of Cause and Effect [every effect has to have a cause also ‘out of nothing- nothing comes’].

There was a famous Christian who abandoned the faith- Bertrand Russell- he said ‘if everything has to have a cause- then God must have one too- and if God needs a cause- then why not see the universe as the cause’.
Tough Russell was a good man- he made a mistake here.
The laws of logic do not say that everything has to have a cause- but every effect has to have one.

In essence- somewhere along the line- going back to the beginning- there must be an initial cause- that has no beginning- Anaximander’s Boundless One.

Ok- I won’t do too many of these posts in a row- because as you can see- this takes time- and you lose people along the way.

But- over the next few weeks I’ll slip a post like this in- it helps when dealing with those who have sincere objections to the faith- and it also debunks some common misconceptions.

THE PROFESSOR WENT TO CHURCH! [Plus- John 21].

Yesterday I spent some time with the guys- had a few over at the house- Jimmy- a new guy- he gave me a call ‘John- let’s get together today’.

These guys are on the streets- doing deals- and yeah- sometimes they call- like a life line.

So we had an unplanned ‘meeting’- I let the guy’s talk.

Henry- and John- they know the bible- so I steered the conversation [Jimmy gets into a lot of conspiracy theories] but it went well- hung out all day- till around 6 at night- and instead of the guys hanging out with other addicts- yeah- they hung out with us.

Ok- my friend at the mission told me ‘John- I went to church- for the first time in years’.

He’s the guy who taught in college- told me he spoke in front of 400 people at a time- I do believe him- have had talks with him in the past.

This year God has opened up some doors for me to talk with a lot of educated people- and this guy has asked stuff- and I do know some of the subjects that he asked about [history- religion- etc.]- and things like that- so- over time he has been influenced- seen both sides of the argument for Christianity- and yeah- went to church.
Today I’ll teach John chapter 21.

Jesus appears to his disciples after he is risen from the dead.

The guys were fishing- they caught nothing- Jesus is on the shore ‘Hey- cast your nets on the right side’.
They do- and catch a ‘boat load’ of fish.

They realize its Jesus- Peter jumps into the water- swims to shore.

And the other boys are stuck having to pull the net in.

As they arrive on the beach- Jesus has some fish already on the fire- they add their catch- and have a good time with the Lord.

Jesus asks Peter ‘do you love me MORE THAN these’.
Now- in the Greek language- which the New Testament is written in- Jesus and Peter use 3 different words for love here- and in the interaction Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him with the highest form of love.

Peter is hesitant- because when Jesus says ‘more than these’ it reminds him of his denials.


When Jesus told his men ‘You will all forsake me’ Peter said ‘not me- I’ll die for you’.

He thought he did love Jesus MORE THAN THE OTHERS- and that led to his denials.

So now he’s hesitant- he got burned once- and he doesn’t want to commit again.

So- Jesus asks Peter this question 3 times- and Peter just isn’t sure of himself anymore- he messed up already- and can’t really trust himself.

When the discussion is over- Jesus predicts Peter’s death- he is saying ‘Peter- you will love me like you wanted- when you said you were willing to die for me’.

If you read the chapter- Jesus tells Peter that he will be martyred for the cause- like he wanted.

I find the interaction interesting.

Peter had a hard time recovering from what happened- that stuff followed him- he could never really shake the thing.

Jesus assured him he would be able to do it when the time came- Peter did.

Church history tells us that Peter was crucified in Rome- under Nero- upside down.
After this fishing incident- the guys would go on to become the foundation of the New Testament church.

The Holy Spirit was poured out on them at the day of Pentecost [Acts 2] and for around the first 15 chapters of the book of Acts- Peter is the main figure.

He goes on and testifies of Christ- fearlessly.

He does many miracles in the name of Jesus.
He learned to have the true sacrificial love that Jesus asked him about on this fishing day.

Yeah- when we get burned in life- even our own failures- it’s hard to overcome that.

But God can bring us back from the brink- even from the ledge.

He did it with Peter- how about us?

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong

You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well, everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

And well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here

And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today we can put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand, I would understand

I would understand
I would understand
Understand

Can you put the past away?
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

WEDNESDAY- THE COP’S?

Want to talk some about yesterday- but first.

A few weesk ago as I was taking the guys to the Bishop meeting- on the way back thru Robstown- I had a cop following me.

Now- Robstown is a small town- and the way many of these small towns make money- is they do drug busts off one of the main corridors for smuggling out of Mexico.

I know this- because I ‘did this’ for many years.

I worked for the Kingsville fire dept. - for 25 years- Kingsville- like Robstown- has a stretch of highway that goes thru the city limits.

And for years when the cops pulled over some suspicious vehicle- they would call the fire dept. to use our rescue tools to cut the cars apart.

We [at least me] did not like this.

Why?

Because our rescue tools were expensive- and they were made to save lives- not cut cars for drug busts.

So- a few weeks ago while driving thru Robstown- this cop was following me.

Why?

I guess he saw some long air guy [me] with a car full of guys- that look like drug addicts.

Some are!

Sure enough- he turned on his lights- and pulled me over.

As he walked up to my car- I said ‘why did you pull me over’!

Not mean- but not pandering either.

He said ‘you were doing 49 in a 45 MPH zone’.

Ok- it was a work zone- maybe he was right- but I do set my coast thing on the car- and I’m notoriously known for driving too slow- the guys tell me this a lot.

So- as he asked for my driver’s license- I opened my wallet- and he saw my badge.

Now- it does look just like a cop badge- it is my retirement badge from the Fire Dept.- and it is legal for me to carry it [ some people carry badges from past jobs- EMT- Medics- etc. and if you are not working with that entity any more- the cops will take the badge].

So- as soon as the cop saw my badge- he said ‘ok- just don't speed any more’ and he started walking away- fast.

I said ‘hey- don’t you want to see the license?’

He said ‘no’.

He got in his car and turned around before I had a chance to leave.

Why did he do this?

I guess he thought I might have been an undercover cop.

I have long hair- and the only cops that have long hair- are indeed undercover.

The state [and Federal law enforcement] do at times ‘police’ local cops.

If they have complaints that cops are profiling people- like minorities- then the Feds will send an undercover guy to see if it’s true.

I’m not sure if this cop had a legal right to stop me- I’m sure he thought we looked suspicious- and figured if it was a drug bust- then no one will ever know if he pulled me over without cause.

Now- the car was full- and I’m glad the guys saw this- they also saw that I was pissed off- and that in my voice you could tell it- and the cop could too.

So yesterday driving thru the same spot- I saw another cop- and sure enough- as soon as I passed him on highway 77- he pulled out [there was a lot of traffic] and he drove up behind me- at the same spot as last time.

I guess he was using the radar to see if I was going over 45 mph- the same work zone as before.

This time I know I set the cruise control- at 42.

He kept following me- and pulled off up ahead- in some empty lot- and just waited.

The city limits of Robstown are small- these Robstown cops only have a short distance to ‘get you’ and then you’re in the Corpus limits.

So- I saw him waiting- In this empty lot- to ‘catch me’.

Now- to be honest- I was pissed off.

And some of the guys with me in the car were with me the last time they pulled this stuff.

As I drove up to the empty lot where he was parked- right off the road- I stopped- and pulled in right in front of him- he was blocking the entrance.

I looked at the guy- and he had to kind of swerve his car- and he looked pissed off- like ‘what in the hell is this drug runner doing’.

I waited for him to move over- he was blocking the entrance- and as I pulled past him- drove thru this empty lot- and exited on the other side- which was in the city limits of Corpus.

I’m sure he wondered why I made the turn like this- but noting I did was illegal- and he was waiting for any chance to stop me.

Now- this happened at around 4 pm yesterday- and I’m still pissed off- at 8 am today.

Why?

Cops are not supposed to profile- and they do this with Black people all the time.

Now- if this never happened to you- then you don’t get it- but when it happens to you- you realize that it feels like your living in a police state.

Many years ago I was driving back from the Fire Dept. from Kingsville- as I entered the city limits of Corpus- there was a Corpus Cop riding in the passing lane- going real slow.

I guess he was doing this to intimidate people- daring them to pass on the right.

I was driving my 1979 Datsun 280 Z [once again- a car cop’s look for].

As I passed him on the right- going under the speed limit- sure enough- he turned on the lights and pulled me over.

Now- I was wearing my uniform- and it looked just like a cop uniform- badge and all.

As he walked up to the driver’s side of my car- I never even saw him.

As he got close- saw me in uniform- I heard him say ‘Oh- never mind’ and never even saw his face- he went back to his car- fast.

Once again- why would a cop do this?

Because he knew he was making an illegal stop- but hell- he’s a cop- who’s gonna do anything about it?

Me- that’s if I too was a cop- which in these incidents that’s exactly what these cops thought.

I was glad I had the guys in the car- Art told me they do this to him all the time- he rides his bike at night- and they pulled him over 5 times the other week- without cause.

But when your homeless- they don’t give a ‘darn’ because what are you gonna do?

But when they think they are pulling over another cop- yeah- they get scared.

I’m mad because I like doing the drive thru Robstown- its a little longer distance- but gets you quicker to Kingsville and Bishop- I know because there are 2 other back roads you can take- and I’ve done them all over the years- and the Robstown route is the fastest.

But- I will now drive the other back roads- no big deal.

But even though I’m legal- it’s still a pain in the ass to have to do these other routes- simply because the Robstown cops have nothing better to do- then pull over long hair ‘undercover cops’.

Ok- maybe I’ll write about the other stuff tonight- I’m still a little mad right now.

THURSDAY- The other day at the mission- an old friend showed up.

I work with his 2 brothers- and have known all 3 of them for years.

He told me ‘John- I’m at the end of my rope- I’m ready to check into the detox center’.

Great.

He used to be the house manager at our halfway house [I helped his older brother start a halfway house 3 years ago].

At the time David asked me who we should use as the house manager- I told him ‘your brother’.

Now- these 3 brothers love each other- have done Meth for years together- but they don’t get along [as a matter of fact- the one I’m talking about beat the other brother up the night before- and they both were having a bad time].

So- I took my friend to our Bishop meeting- I taught for a little while- and then let the guy’s fellowship- we went back to Corpus [that’s when the Robstown cop thing happened] and spent the rest of the day at my house.

The meetings I do are a very small part of the whole thing- it’s being with the guys all day- they never use around me [one exception- if I remember I’ll tell it] and since I’ve been back from Jersey- I have now extended the time with the guys till around 6 pm- or like last night- till around 10.

When the guys talk to each other- about God- and recovery- that’s when the most benefit happens.

So yesterday I saw my friend- and waited for him to bring up going into detox.

He did- we dropped his van off at someone’s house [the van I sold/gave to him last year] and we took off to Charlie’s Place- the Detox where he used to work.

Yeah- when he was our house leader- he had a job as a tech at this facility- was doing real well- for about 9 months- till he relapsed.

So- he was a ‘walk in’ and we didn’t really know if they would take him.

We waited till about 5 pm- they took him- good.

I gave him a hug- told him I loved him- and off he went.

Oh- almost forgot- on the way there he asked if we could stop by his sons house- who has brain cancer [also a good friend of mine] - I said ‘sure’.

I saw his boy- we went and got a few drinks [non alcoholic!] and spent about an hour together.

Andy apologized for taking up most of my day- I told him ‘no bro- this was Gods plan today- I miss seeing you and your boy- and today reminded me of last year’.

Last year I spent a lot of time with these guys- we helped each other out- we did meetings- and Craig [the son] even did a roof job for me [I thought I was selling the house- and tried  get repairs done before I ‘moved’ to N.J.]

So- I was happy to have spent the day with this other group.

To be honest- at around 5- I needed to get some rest- I was going to do a meeting at Angels halfway house at 7- and I don’t sleep well- so I needed to rest.

Jimmy kept calling me thru out the day- I couldn’t take all the calls- but I returned them when I had a chance- told him I was too busy- but invited him to the meeting in the Bluff- he said he would try and make it.

So- got home- tried to read a little- Jimmy called a few more times- got the phone again- then Angel called ‘were are you- the guys are asking for you’.

‘Angel- it’s only 6- the meeting starts a 7’.

Yeah- but they wanted you to come  early.

‘I can’t- got too much going on- was checking a friend into detox most of the day’.

So- I didn’t get any rest- went and did the meeting- it went well- to be honest- this is one of my better meetings.

All the guys are already there- I don’t have to round them up.

So- during the meeting Jimmy called about 3 more times- I finally got it again ‘Jimmy- I’m doing a meeting’.

He said he was on the way.

About 9 o’clock Jimmy showed up- Angel and her boyfriend Jesse knew him- they said ‘what happened to you- you’re so skinny’.

I have only known Jimmy for a month or so- but they told me he is a good guy- has helped them in the past- and they never saw him this bad.

I sat outside and talked to Jimmy- for around an hour- I spent about 5 hours with him the other day.

I could tell Jimmy would have talked all night- and I have done this before.

But if he kept going- I would have been up for 24 hours straight [some days I wake up at 1 am] and I told him ‘Jimmy- the only thing I can tell you is if you want- I’ll take you to Detox tomorrow’.

He has lots of problems- the girl friend thing- like many of the guys- that’s an issue.

He wants to talk about her- how he loves her- she is using too- and he can’t let her go.

I noticed- not just with Jimmy- but the relationship thing is almost an addiction in itself.

Though Jimmy has lots of problems- he ‘likes’ talking about his girlfriend- how she doesn’t know how much she is hurting him- how he fell in love ‘at first sight’.

This relationship has been going on for 3 years- and in a way he likes talking about it- even though it gets him nowhere- the co-dependency thing once again.

But- I can’t help him- or let him go on all night- unless he’s willing to get help.

The guys need to come to the end of the rope- like my other friend.

My other friend is 61- and done the rehab multiple times- has had ‘clean time’ before- and at this stage in his life- feels hopeless.

Jimmy told me he was 2 days from being clean for 3 years [a while ago] and relapsed.

Earlier in the day- when I was at the mission- getting ready to take my friend to detox.

He told me ‘John- I feel the Lord has a word for you’.

‘Yeah- tell me’.

‘I see you spending all your time with the guys- I know you are trying to help- but you are in danger of relapsing’.

I did listen- told him none of us are ever ‘sure’ to the point where we are beyond that danger.

And I’m doing the best I can.

A couple of weeks ago a friend reminded me of a ‘bad year’.

Huh?

Yeah- about 1991- I ‘relapsed’ for a year.

I kept my job [miraculously] but did have a bad year.

When I was relaying the Robstown incident this week- some of the Corpus guys said ‘John- you don’t know- but Robstown is a heroin capital’.

I don’t know?

During my bad year- I hung out at some bad clubs in Corpus- these are on the West side of town- and there were shootings in these clubs every week.

I was with Whistler one day- we drove in the area [Baldwin- Port- Morgan].

I told him ‘can you believe I used to shoot pool here- get drunk- and hang out in these clubs all night’.

Now- Whistlers been around- these are Mexican gang clubs- I was the only English speaker [or White guy] in these clubs.

I said ‘yeah- it’s a miracle I was never shot- they were killing people every week here’.

He said ‘every day’.

That was my bad year- I was with people- and yes- heroin was being used freely.

So- when my friend tried to give me the scoop about Robstown- I said ‘during my bad year- I drove there- and we bought it’ [note- I never used heroin- but the guys I was with did. I did use just about every thing else- but not heroin]

So yeah- bad year.

How in the hell did I keep my job- and get back on track?

I guess you could say it was a miracle-

Some people do function- at high levels- even in addiction.

So- we are all at risk of relapse- all the time.

But- you can start over as well- I did- you can- and Jimmy too.

www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook#] - I have posted lots.