Tuesday, May 28, 2013



Let’s pick up where we left off last.

First- this situation with my friend- the ‘Christian witchdoctor’ is rare.

For the most part- when you hear stories of Christian leaders who are entangled in some sin- for the most part- they are true.

For instance- over the years- I would see/read a case where some famous leader is caught with a girl.

Maybe in a motel room- then some of my friends- who were followers of the leader would say ‘wait- I heard he was just witnessing to the prostitute’.


So- I’m not the type that fell for stories like that.

In my situation- the person who made up the charge [years ago] was dabbling in both the occult world- as well as Christian ministry.

So- I think he really was lost- confused.

And it is true that there were strategies- by occult followers- to make up charges against people [talking about the gay relationship charge- last post].

But- for the most part- I am not into the whole ‘spiritual warfare’ scene- where there is a demon- or satan worshipper behind every bush.

Got it?

Okay- when I moved my family to Corpus- I still worked at the Kingsville Fire Dept- and finished my 25 years.

Manuel came by over the years- admitted what he did- yes- he told me he was sorry for making the charge up- and I forgave him.

He eventually came by with his boy- who came to my little church when he was young.

He was older now- his dad loved him and was proud of him.

I’ll never forget- one day they both came by the station.

Manuel asked me to pray for them.

Of course I did.

As I prayed- his boy started crying uncontrollably.

I knew God was working.

As the years went by- I would see Manuel off and on.

One time I showed up at work and the guys told me ‘hey John- we picked up some guy who had his throat slashed- he was asking for you- he said you were his pastor’.

That was Manuel.

His boyfriend cut his throat and almost killed him.

Yes- Manuel was gay and lived out the lifestyle.

I felt bad for him over the years.

Others never knew I forgave him- and we became friends again.

He did threaten my family- and I never told my wife I forgave him.

Now- this is the hard part.

It was during that time that I learned to ‘put things in Gods court’.

There are verses in the Psalms- called Imprecatory Psalms.


Those are the verses where king David is praying for God to ‘get his enemies’.

Christians have different ideas about these passages.

Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies- not to try and get even.

Yet these portions of the Psalms seem to say the opposite.

Over the years- I have come to the understanding that all God’s wrath is redemptive- in the end.

Now- this gets into a heavy theological discussion- that we don’t have time to get into now.

But basically it means- when we pray these verses that seem to ask God to ‘get our enemies’.

What we are really praying is for Gods wrath- his ‘pressure’ to be on everyone in 'his court’ and for it to produce righteousness.

So- I learned to pray this way back then.

Okay- you pray like this whenever there are people accusing you- falsely- of anything.

It seems to bring everyone into Gods court- you in essence are saying ‘okay God- come and work in all of us- what ever will be will be’.

Now- this can get serious- very serious.

The bible talks about believers having authority from God 

‘Whoever’s sins you forgive- they are forgiven’

‘Whoever’s sins you retain- they are retained’.

The long and short of it is this- when you pray in this way- you have no control over the outcome.

When I went thru the situation with Manuel- I prayed like this.

This last 6 months- I had to do it again.


Not to get even- but some who did indeed make false charges- after I tried my best to do what was right- they saw it as a game.

At one point- in the beginning- the girl put on face book ‘wow- this is so cool- I'm at a real line up’.

I guess she was at the police station and looking at pictures [note- my wife told me this- I have never read any of this on line].

Now- when you falsely charge someone- and think it's a game- that’s very serious.

I think the girl just did not realize that this is not a joke.

So- I simply brought us all into Gods court- I placed us all under this umbrella.


Okay- now pay close attention- this is the scary part.

Over the last 6 months- during my long walks- I stopped at a McDonalds and would sit and have coffee and pray.

One day- March 29th to be exact.

I brought an old bible I had for years.

I noticed on the front page- I wrote some notes and stuff.

One of the notes said I had a meeting with ‘Pastor Don’ that day.

It was strange- because I had written that note in 1992- and I was to meet him- at this exact location where I was sitting.

It was sort of a sign in a way.

To see that note all those years later- in the meeting spot.

I also saw another note I wrote.

It was a License plate.

It was the LP of Manuel.

Yeah- years earlier when I went thru the problems- I too was going to retaliate at one time- and I got his car License plate.

When I saw it- I told the Lord I was sorry.

That I too have tried to get even- or have lied about people that wronged me- it was a moment of true repentance.

I wrote the date in a little journal I have been making this year.

That’s why I remember the date- 3-29-13.

Now- this is all happening at a time when I- in a sense ‘re-opened’ the court.

Are you getting this?

I know I might be losing some of you- but this is the best I can do.

I ‘released’ Manuel in a new way- even though I had forgiven him- for a very bad accusation- yet I had to also repent of my anger towards him.

I did this repenting some 23 years after the fact.

Less than a month later- I was driving with my wife.

She says ‘oh- by the way- your old friend was killed’.


Yeah- I think his name was Manuel.

Juan Manuel Garza was stabbed to death on April 25th- 2013 [look it up if you want- Kingsville Texas]

Less than a month after I repented of any wrong I had done towards him.

I felt God was telling me that ‘this court’ was very serious.

That the bar has been raised very high.

I don’t want any one to miss read this.

We [Christians] are not in the business of praying for the deaths of ‘our enemies’.

Jesus told us to pray for those who wrong us.

But he said- when we do really forgive- and release them- we are ‘pouring hot coals on their heads’

This releases the redemptive judgment of God on all in ‘the court’.

Manuel was killed by his lover- the same man who stabbed him years earlier.

His name is Barbour- I have him on my prayer list- with all the other prisoners I pray for.

The reason I bring this up now is because we- all of us- don’t realize the seriousness of false accusation.

I’ll admit- in the case with Manuel- that’s about as bad as it gets.

As a young Pastor- it was a miracle that I didn’t just quit the ministry all together.

But when I moved to Corpus I started an outreach to the homeless guys- and this in a way was my salvation.

So- once again- I’m in transition.

I do believe God still has a purpose for all of us- but a lot has changed- things have changed for good.

I mourned the death of Manuel for a few days.

I think my wife was surprised- she knew what he had done.

I told her I had forgiven him- and I still felt responsible for him in a way- that he still saw me as his Pastor.

Yeah- she was surprised- me too.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook] - I have posted lots.

Monday, May 27, 2013



There are things that I want to cover- stuff that pertains to the recent stuff- but some of this will take time to develop.

I want to be careful- for all involved- when we talk about it.


In this recent case- the stuff I have been blogging on- I ‘see’ everyone involved thru the lens of ‘what’s Gods’ ultimate will for all’.

For instance- I don’t view this as ‘me against them’.

Or ‘let me use the blog/face book to my advantage’.

No- I see everyone as people caught up in something- that was instigated by my very bad choices [driving drunk- black out drunk].

Now- everyone will also be held accountable for the wrong they did after the fact.

At the start of this- I posted- in a very serious way- that it’s not a joke- to law enforcement- to lie in a criminal case- or to ask others to lie.

As time went on- I [as well as both sides of the case] did see that yes- the person lied- about the most ‘important’ thing.

As I recounted the story- many times- I would say ‘look- most of this is my fault- I’m no ‘innocent man’ who got framed’.

But- the actual charge- well yes- that’s false.

It took time for me to see it- because the girl gave her self away- when she herself said it happened- when there were 2 other people there.

That’s when I knew- for a fact- that she made that up.

Then- when I saw the actual statements- I knew she lied.

Okay- why?

Over the next week or 2- I’m going to tell another true story- something that makes this look like ‘child’s play’.

It has to do with a former church member from a church I started years ago.

He was involved in sorcery and witchcraft- and he also was involved with ministry.

This person- who in the coming days I will reveal- had an all out assault against me and my family in Kingsville.

All out?

Yeah- it was very bad.

When this person joined the little church I started- I was warned that he was really an ‘undercover sorcerer’ who just joined churches to ruin them.

Okay- I thought maybe the person- who was my age [we were both in our 20’s] was dabbling in bad stuff- but who knows- maybe God had a purpose for him.

Okay- to cut to the short of it.

Over time- one of my friends told me ‘John- you would not believe what so and so is saying about you’.

He started a rumor- that we were gay lovers.

Okay- as you can see- I really did not want to get into this- now.

But- as I was praying this morning- I felt God wanted me to tell it- because in the coming weeks- there's much more to this story than meets the eye.

Okay- at this point- I have no reason to lie about anything- I have already been very open with all.

The fact is- this guy lied.

Now- I have friends who are gay- I know there are very good people who are gay- and I try not to ‘judge’ people.

But- this has never been ‘my thing’.

My temptation has always been the classic one- going back to the garden.

Yes- the simple reality that women are attractive- so that’s it.

Now- the way I dealt with the guy who said we were gay- is I took a mutual friend with me one night and we drove to Manuel’s house.

The friend in the car was the guy Manuel told this to.

His name is Emmet.

I knocked on Manuel's door- and I confronted him about the story.

Emmet was in the car- hearing.

I told Manual ‘Emmet said you told him we were gay lovers- is this true’.

He acted shocked- and of course denied it.

Then Emmet got out- he knew he was busted.

This began a couple of years of an all out assault against me and my family by Manuel.

I worked at the fire house- he sent people to my house [while I was at work] at 2 am to harass my family.

He broke the window of my car while parked at the fire house.

He set fires in abandoned buildings- and when I got there he was watching.

This never stopped..

He had a friend call the fire house and threaten me- I was pissed- I told him to come down right now- I was waiting outside.

The guys at the station knew I was mad- it was funny- they shut all the blinds and stuff- they thought someone was gonna do a drive by!

Had the tries slashed to my car- etc.- etc.

Eventually I moved to Corpus- because of this.

So- as you can see- any false charge does affect me.

Now- to be very clear- I do not see any one in this recent case like this.

 What happened in this case is some girl was indeed offended- and in her way- to get justice- she lied about being flashed.

That’s what happened.

At first I thought the mom knew- but then later was not sure.

I know the girl knows- and her 2 friends.

So yeah- I get it.

What maybe added to ‘the lie’ was the very real fact that I was so drunk that I made a confession to the girl on face book and said- even though I don’t remember- that I’m sorry.

At that point they must have thought ‘wow- this guy does not even know’!

So- trying my best to be honest added to it.

Okay- that’s why I’m really not that mad at the people.

Because my past experience- with the really terrible false charge- makes this look like nothing.


One of the things I want to cover in the coming weeks is unjust scales.

And the biblical teaching on how- at times- justice is not even.

For instance- I think the mom- and girl-  maybe felt like in order to get justice- they needed to make up the charge.

Okay- I actually do see that- for real.

So- while in a normal case maybe the person accused would be very mad- it is after all not a good thing to say- especially when it’s not true.

But- compared to the other situation- I don’t see the accuser’s in this case as bad people at all.


So- maybe this will give everyone some perspective.

In the coming days- I’ll cover a very serious thing that happened these past months- and it is directly related to this whole experience.

There are many verses in the bible that talk about false accusations- and how there is a severe penalty on those who make them.

I knew- from the beginning [because of the above situation] that some of the ‘kids’ in this case did not realize what they were getting into.

That is- there would be a high price to pay- simply because this was being put in ‘Gods court’.

It will take some time over the next few weeks to explain this- but it has to do with Gods desire to purge all of us- yes both those who make false accusations- and those who are falsely charged.

So- over time- hopefully we will get to it.

So- for today- understand that in Gods’ dealings- false accusations carry with them a very high price.

In some cases- like the one that happened years ago- the price is high.

In the recent case- I already know that the people involved had no idea it would be like this- but I did know.

I had past experience with it- I almost felt like ‘no- don’t make a false charge like this- it’s gonna come back and bite you’.

[It looks like charges are already being filed- not by me- on the ‘other side’]

I knew this from day one.

So- to be clear- I do not see these 2 cases as the same.

I see the recent case as good people- yeah- all of those involved.

And that in some type of way to try and get justice- well yes- they made up something that did not happen.

That even the other witnesses- who were the accusers friends- they basically backed up my story.

So yeah- over time- everyone knew the actual charge- the worst charge- was indeed false.

At times- even those in the system that seemed to know the girl made that part up.

They would say things to me like ‘John- the system is not concerned with whether or not you did it- that’s not their job’.


I was shocked.

One investigator told me ‘oh yeah- even if the person goes down to the police station and says she’s sorry- she made it up- they will threaten her to not change her story and tell her if she does they will file a charge against her for making a false report’.

So- along the way- I learned some bad things about ‘the system’.

Okay- that’s it for now.

For you bible studiers- look up what the bible says about false accusation.

It’s vey harsh.

In the end- God’s not vindictive- but he purges us- he puts ‘pressure’ on us- to get us clean.

He does this with everyone in ‘his court’.

He’s not about getting even- or ‘siding’ with one side against the other.

He’s about creating truth in all of us.

That’s the proper perspective.

NOTE- Then why did I plea No Contest?

From the start- I told everyone- even the prosecutors- that I was very drunk- black out drunk.

Yes- I took a huge risk by dropping my lawyer- and telling the prosecutors this.

They could have stacked multiple DUI’s on me- and that could have been  jail time in Texas.

But- I let the chips fall.

But- over time- because of what I explained above- I realized- to my surprise- that yeah- the girl made the flashing charge up.

Who’d a thunk it?

But- the prosecutor- who seemed to believe me- also said ‘how can you defend yourself when you’re admitting you don’t remember half of the event’?

So- that’s the reality.

Yeah- maybe if I lied from the start- the outcome would have been different- but that’s how this turned out.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook] - I have posted lots.

Friday, May 24, 2013



Okay- let me do my best to try- really try- to end this chapter.

As much as I want to not talk about this any more- I just can’t seem to get past it.

About a year ago I was accused of flashing a girl while very drunk.

Drunk to the point where you don’t even know if you did it.

I was what you would call a black out drinker- which is very bad.

At the time- I simply confessed- sort of- on face book- said I did not remember doing it- but if I did- I was vey sorry.

As the months rolled by- my wife and daughter- and their friends [who all knew each other] were reading this on-line.

They thought the flashing charge was made up.

I did not want to hear that- because I was resigned to just go thru and plead guilty.

As time went on- my wife would say ‘she said you stopped the van here- opened the door- etc’.

That part I remembered- and I knew that here- at least- this was not true.

There were 2 other kids [young 20’s] who were there too.

I always said ‘just ask them- they know I did not flash their friend’.

But- I never knew what they said.

Maybe they said- yeah- he did.

So finally the last few weeks I did hear what they said.

The boy made no statement.

And the other girl- who I’m sure is a very nice girl.

She said she ‘turned her head’ [did not see].

I knew they lied when I heard this.

She did not want to lie outright- and say ‘no- my friend is wrong’.

So- she said this.

Okay- I wish so much you told the truth.

I can’t get past this whole thing- I’m not mad- I just wish you didn’t say that- I needed some help with this so bad.

Not asking you to lie- but to have said the truth- at least about the part where we were all there at one time.

So- the last few weeks- I saw that more than likely the charge was false.

Okay- was I totally innocent?


And yes- I could come on today and write- and manipulate- and ‘shape’ the story to make it look like I’m better than I am.

But there are about 5 or so people who would say ‘see- this guy claims to be a Christian- helping the homeless guys- and look- he’s a liar’.

Should I just ‘sacrifice’- that is not care about that small inside group- and heck- lie.


Then these ‘kids’ will live the rest of their life knowing we are all the same- we all lie to make ourselves look good.

And that would be wrong.

No- there were things that did come up- things that I forgot [not real bad- but things you that are not real good].

And when I heard about them- I once again was confronted with the past.

So- yes- I put this in for you guys- the small group- who also knows this.

I want you all to see I have tried so hard in this thing- and at times questioned so much- and don’t want to leave Texas this way.

Okay- I did a no contest plea and will do a 40 day work period [actually 20].

I wish I could start today and work straight thru- but it will take a month to finish.

Why am I leaving?

Isn't it obvious?

I’m leaving because of this- not what others said about me- but because of this whole thing.

Make no mistake- it’s not some great ‘call from God to go save the bums in New York’.

No- I feel like my life is over- that’s how I have felt from day one.

When people drink- are actively drinking- you don’t ‘feel’ the consequences of stuff.

The bible even says this ‘when a drunk wakes up- he goes right back to it’.

But- when I quit [since Jan. 3rd] I ‘feel’ all the consequences- in a big way.

So- make no mistake about it- yes- I’m running from my past- I’m going to ‘hide’ in a crowd up north.

Yes- all the things you would do if this happened to you.

I was talking to my wife last night- telling her I’m glad it’s going to be over- I’m so ready to leave.

Of course my family is staying in Texas.

As I was talking- she was crying.

‘What’s wrong now!’

As you can imagine- there has been a ton of friction since this happened.

She just said something like ‘don’t you know’.

I realized she has been hoping I was going to change my mind as the weeks- months went by.

That I would stay.

I just can’t.

One day not too long after this happened.

I was reading the parable of the unjust steward.

Some guy is the money manager for some rich man.

He gets caught stealing- and the boss hauls him on the carpet to give an account.

He does not try and hide the wrong doing.

But- he quickly analyzes his situation and comes up with a plan.

Jesus is telling the story- it’s a parable.

The guy says ‘what should I do- I won’t beg- I can’t dig ditches’.

And he goes on and makes a plan and God commends him for being wise.

The part of the story that caught my eye was he immediately knew his options.

He eliminated some things right from the start.

About a month after this incident- I knew it was ‘over’ for me.

It took a while before I quit the homeless ministry here in the Bluff.

But it’s been 6 months now- and I haven’t seen the guys.

I took all the ad’s I was running in the papers down.

I knew there were some things that would ‘be no more’.

In essence ‘I won’t dig- or beg’.


And I’m sorry to my dear wife- I know she was hoping I would change my mind.

I just can’t.

I’m not mad.

It’s just over- this whole chapter is over.

For those that I  did wrong to- the parts that were indeed wrong.

I’m so sorry- you have no idea.

To all the people- I don’t do anything in the Bluff any more- please don’t be worried about running into me.

I am going to move as soon as the punishment is done.

And to all my friends on line- thanks for the support.

I’m so sorry you had to see all this.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook] - I have posted lots.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013



Having taken about 3 months away from news watching- I mean I have watched/read some- but no where near the usual amount.

It has given me some time to sit back and observe the scene from a distance.

And what I have seen is sad- to be frank about it.


Our country has become polarized- in my view- like never before.

Now- we have always had haters on the extreme right and left- that’s not new.

But even if you watched the media coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing- as the president spoke- you could tell that one of the main things on his mind was how fast he would call it ‘terror’.

Yeah- he seemed to be more worried about what the ‘right’ would say- then the actual bombing itself!

This past Sunday Israel hit Syria for the 2nd time in a couple of weeks- and the 3rd time this year.

They took out some long range rockets that Iran was supplying for Hezbollah- the group that has been operating out of Lebanon for years.

They are the ones who send rockets into Israel whenever things flare up on their mutual border.

So- it seems as if Syria [Iran] was possibly trying to expand the current war in Syria- and make it a broader ‘The West against the Arab world’ type thing.

Look- our strategy in the entire so called Arab Spring has not gone well.

There our nations/leaders who were at one time allies [Mubarak] - we sat with them and had peace agreements with them.

Then- after a short amount of time- we were siding with those who were going to hang them and their families.

Yes- this created a severe mistrust of the U.S. - the allies of the U.S. felt like we were throwing them under the bus.

Now- Assad- the leader in Syria- was called a reformer by Hilary Clinton.

A year or 2 later- we are on the verge of siding with groups who are affiliated with Al Qaeda- and basically backing those who are about to kill Assad- and more than likely his family as well.

So- if the leaders of these nations- who are just as bad as the ones we support.

Yes- we support the corrupt monarchy of Bahrain- and these guys are just as bad as Assad.

But we have a Naval Fleet stationed off the coast of Bahrain- se we overlook their oppressive rule.

But we side with those who are seeking the overthrow of other Arab nations- and our policy is simply inconsistent- to say the least.

So- what about Syria?

A few months ago Obama did draw a Red Line that he probably now regrets.

He said the use of Chemical Weapons would be a ‘game changer’.

So- there have been reports of them being used.

Some think the rebels themselves have used them- in order to ‘play us’ and get us involved.

Others reported the use of ‘Chlorine’- okay- this is a chemical- and Bob Shieffer even said this was ‘using Chemical weapons on HIS OWN PEOPLE’.

Did we describe the killing of one of the Boston Marathon guys as ‘the U.S. killed their own people’?

Look- Syria is in the midst of a brutal civil war- and I feel for the innocent ones caught in the middle.

But- there are many ‘terror’ splinter groups in this thing- and some are indeed ‘home grown’.

So yes- if you want to call Syria’s action ‘against his own people’

 Then fine- but that’s simply a propaganda tool for U.S. involvement.

And if you say using Chlorine is crossing a red line for war- then what about outright bullets in the heads of ‘your own people’.

Yes- many in the media think the killing of people is legitimate- that is actual killing in war is ‘ok’.

But- using Chlorine- well now- that has to stop!

Do you see how the media can manipulate the public here?

I don’t know what the answer is in Syria- but U.S. military intervention is not the solution- period.

We are going to have hearings in a few days on the Benghazi debacle.

And we should.

But understand- the group that killed our ambassador- we enabled them to operate out of Libya because we sided with those who killed Gadhaffi- who by the way was another so called ally of the U.S. [like Mubarak].

So- we want peace- we abhor killing- on all sides.

But- we are a divided people- we are polarized- we can’t seem to function as a nation- as a governmental entity any more.

I don’t know what the answer is- but we as a people are heading for trouble.

One short example;

The other day I was talking to a friend- he was surprised to hear my views on stuff like this.

In my part of the world it’s rare for a blogger- a Christian ‘web site’ to hold to these more liberal views.

I gave him the example of the ‘low’ level of education that our present media has been pumping out to the public on a daily basis.

One day I was watching Glen Beck.

He was hailed as a great historian by one of the guys on the show.

And during the show- some one gave a quote ‘A NATION DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CAN NOT STAND’.

The person said this quote came from a contemporary source.


Beck was quick to correct the man.

‘So and so did not say this- but Lincoln did!’

Beck quipped.

The guests were dumb founded- they were corrected- on national TV- by the ‘historian’ on the set.

Yeah- they submitted like one of Pavlov's dogs- tail between their legs.

One thing- Lincoln didn’t coin this phrase either.

It came from Jesus Christ- it’s in the New Testament for heavens sake.

So- the current state of Western media has been held hostage by a sort of media fantasy land.

Our media is based on what the public wants to hear- what the ratings are.

When we allow national media figures to be so misinformed- and to have forums on a national set- then yes-

Just like Lincoln- and Jesus- and the other guy said


I fear they did get that one right.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [FaceBook] - I have posted lots.

Saturday, May 04, 2013



Was thinking about the idea of Remnant last night.


Yeah- in scripture there is sort of a scarlet thread- a teaching- that runs thru both the Old and New testaments.

It goes like this;

There are times when there are bunches of people following God- on the Bandwagon so to speak.

Often times all is great- you know- ticker type parade in NY type stuff.

Then- lo and behold- stuff gets hard- and people bail out.

Okay- the Remnant are those who after the bailout- they are still standing in the rubble.

Got it?

There are a few notable stories like this in the bible- Gideon’s ‘army’- etc.

Jesus taught this in his Parables-

He said the kingdom was like someone planting seeds- some fall on good ground- others- not so good.

He said some ‘endure for a while- but when tribulation arises because of the word they are offended and leave’.

Same concept.

The other day I taught a little form John’s gospel- chapters 13-15.

I didn’t’ hit on a conversation Jesus and Peter had.

Peter ‘why can’t I follow you now- I am willing to die for you’?

Jesus ‘’Willing to die? Before the rooster crows you will deny me 3 times’.

The very thing Peter stated as his mindset- being sold out to death- was in fact the actual thing that kept him form following to death- he was afraid to die.

We all know the story- he denies the Lord and falls hard.

Jesus told Peter ‘I have prayed for you- that your faith fail not- and after your are converted- strengthen your brothers’.

Converted?- after the change has come.

Peter was a type of the remnant- he told Jesus at one point- right after others walked away [John’s gospel chapter 6- because Jesus said unless you drink my Blood and eat my Flesh you have no life- The Jewish followers were forbidden to eat blood from the teachings of Moses- so after Jesus said this many left].

Jesus asked Peter ‘will you go too’?

Peter’s reply ‘where can we go- you have the Words of eternal life’.

In essence- even though things got very hard at that stage- Peter was around long enough to recognize that Jesus was speaking to them at a different level- he seemed to be ‘more real’ than the many preachers of the day.

So- Peter and a few others stayed.

The other day I mentioned my buddy Tim- the homeless friend who I  have been running into on my walks.

I saw Tim a few weeks back- he stopped at ‘my camp’ [my spot by the water where I pray and hang out].

He was heading into town- he was gonna stop at my favorite spot- half price books- and get some stuff to read.

I had my Dylan book [Chronicles- came out in 2004- excellent book] in my Navy Sea Bag- and I asked him if he liked Dylan.

He told me he loves Dylan.

I gave him the book- he was grateful.

It was the 2nd time I read it- I have given away many of my books over the years- I see it as ministry.

One piece of advice I liked;

Dylan was asking a buddy about his move to NY city- he told Bob ‘get some good boots- you’ll be doing a lot of walking’.

I laughed- I have been walking in work boots for the past 4 months- I mean hundreds of miles [yeah- hundreds!- some days I do about 15- 20 in a single day].

As we all have our own journey to walk- I’m trying to document- and share relevant stuff- things that will last.

One of my favorite journalists of all time was Hunter Thompson.

He’s the character that Johnny Depp played in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- a Thompson book turned into a movie.

Hunter wrote for Rolling Stone back in the day- he covered politics and eventually wrote for ESPN.

He lost his edge as the years went by- and he knew it.

One day he had his family over- they enjoyed a good day together- after the many years of drugs and stuff he got into.

He was sick at the end- and he walked out of the house- his family heard a shot- Hunter took his life.

It was sad- but he felt like he had nothing left to give.

Yet he lives thru what he wrote.

Morrison [the Doors] was a student of philosophy and a smart guy [did you know that?]

That’s where he got the name for the group- Doors.

He said we only live on thru our songs and poems- sort of the legacy we leave behind.

It’s important to document stuff for the next generation- for the Remnant- if you will.

Sure- there will be some who walked with you for only parts of the journey.

And that’s fine- God had a purpose for you and them at that stage.

Hunter had a saying- he loved riding Harleys- and he said some times he would still get on his bike and head out late at night.

He would up the speed- to a point of No Return.

Sort of like that Runners High- you get to a point where you are feeling high [I get that in my walks- but only after hours of walking with no stopping].

Hunter said- when you reach that point- some slow down.

But he said others- they go past that point- and that’s where they see stuff that you can only see when you push past that point.

I feel like the Remnant- those who stick around like Peter- they have good stuff coming.

It just takes time to let the dust settle- to re-gain your equilibrium-

 then get back on the bike.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [Face  book] - I have posted lots.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013



Let’s cover the chapters for the week.

John 13-15.

Jesus sits with the 12 disciples and gives them an example- he washes their feet and tells them that he- as their Lord- is a servant.

He shares the meal with them- he tells them it is his broken Body- his death experiences- that are going to give life to them.

In chapter 14 he talks about coming to them- that first he must leave them- and they are sad about it.

The bible says that ‘he knew that his time had come that he should depart out of this world’.

THIS WORLD- he spent just enough time in his present location- with the guys he was working with- and he knew this period of time had come to an end.

And the bible says ‘sorrow filled their hearts’.

His men were upset- they were really his friends- remember the accusation the religious leaders made against Jesus?


He talks about the Spirit of Truth.

I find this interesting- the way he will reveal himself after he leaves them Bodily [in death] is by sending the Spirit of Truth [the Holy Spirit].

In chapter 14 the disciples are confused;

‘How will you show yourself to us- and not to the world’?

He says if a man loves him- he will KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS- and he and the Father [God] will come and manifest themselves unto those who do the will of God.

But the world- those who do not keep the word of God- Jesus will not manifest himself to them.

A key requirement of having God reveal himself to us- is we must keep his commands.

A few weeks back I had an interesting experience.

Today is the first day of May- and I can tell all my friends- I have been clean all year.


I told someone the other day- not in a boasting way- but I was ‘pissed off’ as they say [yeah- that’s the only sin I have committed in 5 months- I sill get mad.]

I told them ‘you know- I have been more ‘sin-less’ in the past 5 months than in the last 25 years!’

And yet- it seemed like my prayers were still getting about the same results [now- I’m a person who for whatever reason- prays for hours on end. As God is my witness- I got up today at 3 am- prayed for just under 2 hours- that’s normal for me- no bragging- that’s just my thing].

So- for someone who has been doing this for years- I always thought ‘geez- if I ever get clean- God’s gonna answer all these prayers’.

Yet it seemed like nothing really changed [by the way- I was wrong!].

So- maybe a good month or so now- one day I was doing the normal ministry routine- getting with the guys- dealing with those who ‘relapsed’ not being judgmental at all.

But I realized- some of my friends who are clean from some stuff- they are still messing up in other areas.


Lots of my friends think staying off the booze is the goal- and they sleep around- all the time.

Look- I told them I think that’s worse- and it destroys your ‘soul’.

But- I don’t judge- just saying.

And maybe some are on pills and stuff- things I just wont do.

So- after a few months of being in the mix- it hit me one day- that I was trying to show them some new things I was learning- new experiences with God.

And they just couldn’t get it- not that they did not want to- but as long as they ‘walked in the dark’ they were never going to walk this part of the road with me.

Then it hit me- Jesus is saying ‘the Spirit of Truth’.

Many of the guys were just not being honest- lots of the stuff I spoke about this last month or so- yeah- tough stuff- not easy to discuss- but I felt I had to be up-front- honest.

Then in chapter 15 [John’s gospel] Jesus says every branch that is not bearing fruit is cut off- taken away.

Jesus spent 3 years with his men- he taught them stuff- he modeled it for them- and he was brutally honest with them.

He was going to die- that was a fact.

He was going to leave them.

But- those who remembered what he said- and DID GODS WILL- they got real with themselves and others.

To these he would ‘come back’ [by the Holy Spirit- Comforter] and would walk with them again.

In a way that others- who did not choose to do God's commands- would not be able to experience.

Yeah- I liked these chapters- it was like Jesus was speaking in code- he was dropping hints that some would see- others would not.

As I walk this new journey this year- new in a way that I have not experienced in a long time.

At times I see stuff- thru the Word- in daily experiences- things that I want to share with my friends.

But if I see them have a slip- you know- when they slip- they slip [Crack- meth- etc.]

I realize they have disqualified themselves from ‘seeing’ what I’m ‘seeing’ at that point of the journey.

It’s like the Spirit of Truth can only reveal things to those who are walking in truth.

If we lie- live a lie- to ourselves or others- God is still merciful- he still is patient.

But he can not manifest himself to us at that point- until we get real.

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [Face  book] - I have posted lots.